A Brief History of Life
by GhstPhantom3
Summary: When it becomes abundantly clear the impact that growing up without a family has had on Naruto, Jiraiya steps in to teach him what he needs to know. In the process, he lets it slip that... Cont. inside Rated M for language, sexuality and crude humor
1. Sex Ed

Summary cont.

When it becomes abundantly clear the impact that growing up without a family has had on Naruto, Jiraiya steps in to teach him what he needs to know. In the process, he lets it slip that he has a kid of his own, which kicks off a mission for Naruto to seek out any remnants of the family he never had. (Rated **M** for language, sexuality, and crude humor)

Okay, so I am going to be starting a new story. Hopefully with this one I can fix a lot of the flaws that came up in my last one, No One Else But Me. This time around, I will not be using the elements of romance and tragedy to support the plot, so it should not get anywhere near as dark, or for that matter, dark at all. Also, I plan to maintain at least a mild level of humor through out, unlike in the last one that was only funny in the beginning. So without further ado, let the adventure begin!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

"Come single guy and gal unto me pay attention

Don't ever fall in love

It's the devil's own invention

For once he fell in love with a maiden so bewitching

Miss Henrietta Bell down in Captain Kelly's kitchen"

-Dropkick Murphys, Captain Kelly's Kitchen

Chapter 1: Sex Ed

He didn't see what the big deal was. One moment he was walking down the street saying hello to Hinata, as he was about to pass her, and the next moment she was passed out on the sidewalk, a startled expression permanently etched into her face. Unlike most times when Hinata had passed out, her eyes were still wide open in surprise, which made for an almost comical look of shock as she lay rather awkwardly on the ground. In fact, Naruto probably would have laughed if he weren't so dumbstruck and confused.

To Naruto's left stood Jiraiya, who was apparently trying to hide his face behind his overlarge hand out of sheer embarrassment. Naruto bent down next to Hinata and started poking her in the ribs, hoping to wake her up.

"Naruto, you jackass, did you have to do that!"

He snapped his head around to look up at Jiraiya, "It's not my fault! I tripped!" he yelled at him.

"No, but did you have to grab her chest to keep yourself from falling?"

"I just kinda reacted! I was falling and her great big boobs were right there!" Hinata, who had come to in the middle of their argument, turned a rather nice shade of scarlet and decided it would be best to feign unconsciousness.

"And what's so wrong about it anyway?" Naruto yelled, "I see you clinging to boobs all the time! It's not like they're special or do anything!" Not paying attention to what he was doing, Naruto's hand, which had previously been poking Hinata in the side had drifted north, and was at present poking Hinata in the breast. In one of her most valiant fights to date, Hinata was struggling not to pass out again, in the mean time turning, if it was even possible, an even darker shade of red (so dark now, she perhaps could have been classified as purple).

"Naruto! Look where you're touching her!"

"Huh?" Naruto said, as he quickly withdrew his hand, "I still don't get it though, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal," Jiraiya said with a huff as he crossed his arms, "is that you practically felt her up! Hell, you might as well have mounted her and had sex with her right on the sidewalk, as shy as Hinata is!"

Hinata lost her fight.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow with a quizzical look on his face, "What the hell is sex? And why the hell would I mount her? It's not like she was going to give me a piggy back ride or something."

This was one of the few moments in his life that Jiraiya had actually found himself completely and utterly dumbfounded. Regaining his composure, he shot Naruto a nasty look, "Don't be stupid," he spat, "Honestly, I know your thick, Naruto, but no way you could be that dumb! You have to know what sex is! You're always tailing me around, aren't you?"

"I'm a fucking orphan!" Naruto spat, "Or did you forget that I never had a father to teach me things?"

Jiraiya was taken aback. Sure he was right, he never did have a father for those things, but he figured he would have at least gotten the sex talk from somewhere else.

"All right then," he grumbled, "I guess I'll have to teach you. It's my responsibility after all…" Only recently, Tsunade had appointed Jiraiya as Naruto's legal guardian. Whether she did this out of sympathy for Naruto or out of spite for Jiraiya was yet unknown. "Let's go get some ramen then. I'll explain over lunch."

"But…what about Hinata?" Naruto asked with some concern as they walked away.

Jiraiya glanced over his shoulder at her. "She was faking it."

By this time she had come to again and was sitting up.

"How do you know she was faking it?"

"Women fake a lot of things, Naruto, but we won't get to that part for another hour."

* * *

Naruto had spent the last two hours sitting next to Jiraiya as he listened to his description of how the human body worked, the best way to please a woman, and even how to sweet talk a hooker into a freebie. It had been an hour before he even touched his noodles, and by then they had gotten cold. Most of the time he only sat and stared into the abyss, his eyes glazed over with a vacant expression. Halfway through, Jiraiya had gotten frustrated with Naruto not understanding many of his vulgar hand gestures and mimes and had attempted to hire one of the passing girls to help him demonstrate, earning him a nice hard slap across the face from Sakura. 

"Now if there's anything you remember from this chat we've had, remember this:" he said, as they exited the restaurant, "always use protection."

"Even with hookers?"

"Especially with hookers!" Jiraiya shouted, "It's their job to sleep with guys! You never know what they might have! I've had almost every STD out there at some point or another, and not one of them is pleasant!"

"What about if you want to marry the girl?" he asked

"Even then, Naruto. Nothing is certain, and the last thing you want at your age is a kid of your own to take care of. I can tell ya'…"

"Wait," Naruto said, coming to a stop, "You mean you have a kid?"

"Err…" Jiraiya mumbled as he averted his gaze.

Naruto started emphatically flailing his arms like a bird trying to take flight. "Who is it? When was this! Can we meet him? If he's your son he has to be a great ninja! Maybe he could teach me some super cool jutsus!"

"…Forget I mentioned him, okay Naruto?"

"But I want to…!"

"I said drop it! Okay!?" People were beginning to stare at them. "We never got along after he found out I was his father. We had a big fight just a few days before he died. I don't like to talk about him."

"Can't you at least…"

"No!" Jiraiya yelled at him, "Now go home."

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked him as Jiraiya began to walk away.

"To get wasted. If I head it off now, when I wake up in the morning I might be lucky enough to not remember him at all."

As Jiraiya sulked off to the nearest bar, Naruto couldn't help but wonder as to who Jiraiya's son could be. As he sat on the sidewalk, he couldn't help but let his curiosity get the better of him.

Slowly, Naruto got to his feet and leapt to the nearest rooftop.

* * *

Jiraiya's apartment was only a block from where he was, so it took him only a matter of moments to reach it. 

Naruto landed softly on the roof, just above one of Jiraiya's windows. Leaning carefully over the edge, Naruto was able to wiggle his way inside.

He thought that there would be more to see than there was, but apparently Jiraiya preferred to live simply. There were a few drawings of naked women "tastefully" done that hung on his wall. In the corner, he could see that there was a small potted plant about three feet high. As he continued deeper into the apartment, he passed by a modest kitchen and a small table, on which lay scattered notes that upon inspection, proved only to be notes referring to his upcoming third installment to the Icha Icha series.

Proceeding to the back, he found himself in a bedroom, which was as sparsely decorated as the rest of the apartment. There were only a few pictures in there. One was an old tattered photo of himself with Orochimaru, Tsunade and the Third, which was apparently the picture of his team as a kid. Next to that picture was one with an older Jiraiya as team leader over a very young Yondaime and two other ninjas he did not recognize. The other two pictures were not as formal, one was of Tsunade and Jiraiya standing on either side of the Fourth, and the other was a picture of Naruto and Jiraiya together shortly after he had been "adopted". The photos sat on a ledge just above a very large bed that, judging by the sag in the middle, had gotten a fair amount of use.

There was a click in the lock and Naruto realized the Jiraiya may not have gone to the bar after all. Hurriedly, he scampered out the bedroom window to make his escape. The subject, he knew, was a bit touchy with Jiraiya, and the last thing he wanted was to confront him about it after breaking in to his home.

* * *

There was one last option he felt he could check to get some information about Jiraiya's son. Tsunade had been childhood friends with Jiraiya, (though they were often at odds) so perhaps she might be able to tell him something. Quickly he made his way to Hokage Tower and walked up the stairs and down the hall to Tsuade's office. 

Naruto knocked on the door with mild determination, and a voice called back to him.

"Enter!"

He pulled open the door and entered slowly, taking a seat once he was inside.

"What do you need, Naruto?" Tsunade asked, only half interested as she was filing papers away.

"Well, Jiraiya mentioned something about having a kid, and I was wondering if you knew anything about him."

She paused and the file slipped from her fingers, drifting to the floor. There was hesitation in her eyes. "…Why do you want to know about him?"

Naruto shrugged, "Just kind of curious," he muttered.

"Curiosity alone is not enough to entitle you to that information, Naruto,"

"Well, what if it is part of the village history?"

"Why would that change anything?"

"Well if I'm going to be the next hokage, I need to know the history of the village, or something…" Naruto knew he was fighting a loosing battle. Tsunade was right, he had no real right to inquire into Jiraiya's personal life.

"…Fine, I'll tell you. Neither of those reasons are really good enough, but there is another reason you are entitled to know, but you'll understand when you're older."

"Umm," Naruto muttered, "okay, so who is he? And how do you know him?"

"First you have to promise me not to tell anyone what I am about to tell you, especially Jiraiya."

"I promise," Naruto said hesitantly.

"All right then," Tsunade paused for a moment, "…as for how I know him," she paused again, making it all too apparent that she didn't really want to talk about it, "it's because I'm the mother."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed that I have the general idea of the story planned out, and I will take my notebook along with me this weekend to get some planning done for the next chapter or two. I hope to have chapter two out by the middle of next week. 

As always, comments, both positive and negative are highly appreciated! As this is a new story, they will help me especially to form this story in to something great!

-Ghost


	2. The Bastard

Let me just start off with a short THANK YOU to all of the people who left reviews to chapter one! I greatly appreciate all of your support and feedback (be it positive or negative). And now, without further delay...

* * *

A Brief History of Life

"Come on tell me, who are you?"

-The Who, Who Are You?

Chapter Two: The Bastard

Tsunade cradled her forehead in her hands, as she leaned against the desk.

"W-Wait," Naruto stammered, "You mean, you and Jiraiya…"

"Had a kid together?" She raised her head, "Yes." All of a sudden she looked much older. She had not removed the jutsu that masked her age, but the weariness that had spread across her face told a different story. Her eyes were bleary and far away.

"So…"

"Naruto," she interrupted, "This is tough for me. I suppressed these memories long ago, and I have tried for years to avoid dragging them up. Please, don't interrupt me, just let me talk."

He nodded and let her continue.

"You already know about Nawaki and Dan." She said, indicating the necklace around his neck, "It was shortly after Dan died, I went in to a deep depression. I knew I shouldn't have let it get to me, but I just couldn't block it out of my mind.

She turned to face out the window, "In my depressed state, I turned to anyone I could to try and find happiness again."

"That's when I came along."

Tsunade whipped around in her chair to see that Jiraiya had slipped in through one of the open windows and was leaning against the wall. "What are you…?"

"I didn't want him to know the story, but if you insist," he spat, venom in his voice, "then I feel I ought to be here to tell my part of it."

Tsunade hesitated, "…So be it."

Jiraiya huffed and turned his head to look out the window.

"Well, Jiraiya found me one night when I was feeling…particularly down. I was crying in front of the memorial, where Dan's name had just recently been added. I had been crying a bit…"

"A bit? You were bawling your eyes out! I heard you crying from about a quarter mile away and came to ask you to quiet down!"

Tsunade shot him a cold look, but he ignored it, choosing instead to once again divert his gaze out the window, scowling.

"Without going in to too much detail, he comforted me for a while, bought me drinks and began to try and seduce me."

Jiraiya huffed in disgust, "As I recall, _you_ were the one that was hanging off of _me_."

"My boyfriend had just died! I needed a shoulder to cry on!"

"And vomit on." Jiraiya muttered.

Silence.

"…Twice."

Tsunade turned her back on Jiraiya and continued.

"In our drunken haze we made it back to …somewhere,"

"On top of the Hokage monument," Jiraiya filled in.

"…And we…er…" Tsunade was turning pink.

"Did it."

"…R-right, and-" she stammered.

"Drunk and sloppy as it was, I still hold that that one time I did it with you was the best I've had to date."

A quick jab to the kidney was enough to end the commentary from the peanut gallery. In a way, Naruto was happy Tsunade had quieted him. He had already gotten a little bit too much information for his wants, and that mental image of Tsunade and Jiraiya having sloppy drunken sex atop the Hokage monument was, unfortunately, not going to go away anytime soon.

"Anyway," Tsunade resumed, taking her seat again, "I ended up pregnant from the incident. I didn't know what to do. I panicked and I fled Konoha with Shizune who had agreed to look after me. Once the child was born, I had him sent back to the village to live the life of an orphan. Seeing as Jiraiya and I were only about seventeen or eighteen at the time, neither of us was fit to take care of him. I never returned to the village, in fear that I would live in shame if I did. I'll admit, I made a very poor decision in not being there." She bowed her head slightly, "I should have stayed and looked after him."

"That's where I came in," Jiraiya muttered, getting slowly to his feet "Unlike you," he spat, "I at least stayed in the village to keep an eye on him.

Tsunade lowered her head even more in an obvious sign of shame.

"Eventually," Jiraiya continued, "he worked his way through the academy and was assigned to a team. In aggreance with the Hokage at the time, I was allowed to be the captain of his team, so as to keep an eye on him, and help him in his training. Even after he graduated to chuunin, I took him on as a teammate and continued to oversee his training.

"Eventually," he added after a wistful pause, "He rose through the ranks, all the way to the top."

"A.N.B.U.?" Naruto asked.

"…Hokage." Jiraiya corrected him, and then turning to Tsunade, "Didn't you at least tell him who our kid was? There's not much point in telling him otherwise."

Tsunade only avoided his gaze.

Jiraiya locked eyes with Naruto, "Our son was the Fourth Hokage."

Naruto was sort of mystified by this information. It sounded foreign to think that Yondaime, the person he had often looked up to, and on occasion, been likened to, was the son of two of the sennin. But at the same time, it seemed to make sense. Who else could have a son who turned out to be someone that great?

Before Naruto could continue to wrap his mind around the idea, Jiraiya had continued, "I never told him I was his father until one night, in the middle of the Kyuubi attack. In fact, it was the night he disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

Jiraiya ignored him, "We argued. There was plenty of yelling on either side. He wanted to know why I had never told him I was his father, or who his mother was. I tried to explain that it wasn't that simple. He wanted to know why he had to endure growing up like an orphan and an outcast. I tried to explain that we had been too young to raise him properly.

"We fought over it for an hour, in fact, that's why he was late for the fight against the Kyuubi. My biggest regret is still that I waited so long to tell him the truth. But even if I could have changed it and told him earlier, I wouldn't have. That argument was the worst. It left me feeling as though I was alone, like no one loved me or ever would. Naruto, I'm sorry to say, you probably know the feeling quite well."

And it was true. That feeling of being alone in the world was truly the worst feeling anyone could experience.

There was silence in the room for a moment as everyone let the story soak in.

"…So I guess I have more in common with the fourth than I thought." Naruto said, breaking the silence.

"…More than you would think." Tsunade said after a pause. Jiraiya caught her eye for a moment before she looked away.

Again, more silence flooded the room.

"What do you mean he disappeared?" Naruto asked, "I was always told he died using that sealing jutsu." His hand subconsciously making it's way to where the seal on his stomach still remained.

"Yes, he died," Tsunade muttered

"Retired is more like it," Jiraiya said.

All eyes were on him, "When he used the sealing jutsu, he didn't use it on himself, someone else volunteered to die in his place, such that their child, still in the womb, could one day harness the power that had once destroyed the village and instead use that power to the villages advantage."

"That means…" Naruto began,

"That means that the person who sacrificed their soul for the jutsu was your mother, Naruto. The demon was sealed within you, and then you were born, or rather untimely ripped, from your mother."

"Untimely ripped?" Naruto asked, confusion plastered across his face.

"…It's a Shakespeare reference, Naruto."

Tsunade just kind of looked sideways at Jiraiya, "Do you really think the average fan fiction reader is going to pick up on a Shakespeare reference?"

Naruto was truly puzzled now, "What the hell is a fan fiction reader?"

"Never mind, Naruto," Jiraiya said, "As I was saying your mother sacrificed herself so that you could use the demon to help the village. After the demon disappeared, so did The Fourth. Not having seen the jutsu before and having just seen the Kyuubi disappear, everyone thought it was normal for the fourth's body to disappear too."

Naruto's expression lit up, "You mean he's still alive out there somewhere?"

"Yes, but he's retired, and won't be found unless he wants to be found, which I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

"Wait," Naruto said, furrowing his brow, "if he just disappeared, doesn't that mean he abandoned the village?"

"Not entirely, the only one who knew that he survived was his predecessor, The Third, who he arranged to have take over after he disappeared."

"But why would he quit being hokage?" Naruto began to pace back and forth, "It's the greatest job in the village!"

"Paperwork," Tsunade mumbled, "You don't go off on as many missions as you think, Naruto. You just fill out paperwork all day long."

He pretended not to hear her. "Well, we have to go and find him! I want him to teach me things!"

"Forbidden," Tsunade said lazily, resting her head in her hands. She'd have put more effort in to it, but she knew by now that Naruto was going to argue it with her anyway.

"WHY CAN'T I!?" Naruto shouted at her, running up to her so they were almost face-to-face.

"Because of reasons you wouldn't understand!" she shot back.

"Try me." He sneered in return.

"Everyone in the village has long viewed the fourth as a hero that sacrificed himself for the sake of the village. If what Jiraiya said is true, and he did in fact abandon the village, what do you think everyone would think of him?"

Naruto paused.

"They would all riot about how they were betrayed by the Hokage. That betrayal then serves as fuel for anyone who might begin to believe that anyone who holds the title Hokage is an inept leader."

Still silence.

"The village elders, power hungry bastards that they are, would then use that up swell in distrust for the Hokage to try and seize power. A civil war would erupt, myself and my supporters on one side, the elders and their supporters on the other."

Naruto's face reacted as the shock of it all dawned over him.

"So we start to fight against ourselves, everything is anarchy and we are completely defenseless against an outside force, say for example, the Sound. The Sound sweep in, and being as we are too busy fighting ourselves to fight them, they wipe all of us out. Men. Women. Children."

Naruto opened his mouth to say something and then immediately shut it.

"Don't go after the Fourth, Naruto. I forbid it. Now, if you have nothing else to contribute, I'll ask you to leave. You got the information you came for, so I hope you're happy."

Without another word, Naruto scampered out of the office. He knew that this was one fight he would never win.

* * *

But what if he didn't bring the fourth back? What if he just stayed with him to train? No one would have to know…

It was well passed one in the morning when Naruto climbed out his window with his pack and traveling gear. If he could just slip past the guards and exit the village, he would be free to hunt down the Fourth.

He lowered himself down on to the street, and overbalanced to the left, knocking over and breaking a wooden sign with a loud crash. Quickly, he got up, looked around to see if anyone had heard him, and set out quickly for the gate.

* * *

He was almost there, the gate was up ahead, and he could see that Shikamaru was on guard duty, so he knew he would be asleep. Without a sound, he ran the last one hundred yards to the gate and began to scale the fence. He reached the top, and the cool night air blew against his face. He took a moment to take in the view and then jumped down on the other side.

"About damn time you showed up."

Naruto jumped and turned around to find the voice was coming from the nearby tree line.

"I was beginning to think you were actually going to listen to what Tsunade said about the Fourth," Jiraiya said, as he made his way forward in to the moonlight.

Naruto knew he was caught, his only hope was to talk Jiraiya into letting him go.

"I wasn't…err…"

Jiraiya put up his hand to cut him off, "I talked to her," he hefted a large pack of his own on to his back from behind a bush, "and I'm going with you. I was able to convince her to let us find him."

"Let's go then!" he practically shouted.

"All right then, let's go."

* * *

Well, That does it for Chapter Two. I hope you all enjoyed this one! I usually don't go for so much dialogue in a chapter, but let's face it, this chapter had to be dialogue heavy. Anyway, I look forward to any and all reviews! Particularly helpfull are any details or feedback or suggestions you can give me!Expect the next chapter in or around two weeks from now. 


	3. Lost and Found

All right, first I need to start off with an apology. I'm sorry I took so long with this chapter.Back when I wrote chapter two I was feeling like I had lost my knack for writing and essentially gave up on this story when I first tried planning out chapter three. Around thanksgiving though, I received a review from Shadowphoenix143 that encouraged me to give it another go. Well, writers block reared it's ugly head again, and I realized I had no where to go with this story, and again found myself leaving the story behind. Earlier this week however, Shadowphoenix PM-ed me with some more encouragement, and this time, I was able to get out something solid. Best of all, I now know where I want to go with this story.

So to all of you who have been waiting so patiently for this chapter, and to all of you who had given up hope, I apologize. And to Shadowphoenix143, thank you for the encouragement!

Now, without further delay, chapter three!

* * *

(The story thus far: Jiraiya teaches Naruto sex-ed, and lets it slip that he had a kid. Naruto goes to Tsunade to try and find out who that kid was. Tsunade and Jiraiya tell him the story of the birth of the fourth hokage, and reveal that he is still alive, retired somewhere. Naruto slips out at night to go seek the fourth, only to be met by Jiraiya just outside the gate, who was waiting to accompany him...)

A Brief History of Life

"And I'm heading out to the highway  
I got nothing to lose at all  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take a chance before I fall"

-Judas Priest, Heading Out to the Highway

Chapter 3: Lost and Found

"So, where do we find him?" Naruto asked.

They had been walking for three days, going in no particular direction that struck him as familiar. The gravel crunched under his feet with every step.

"We don't."

"Then where are we…"

"Whirlpool country."

"…Oh. And why are we going there?"

Jiraiya stopped walking and rubbed his face with his hands. "If I've explained this too you once, I've explained it a thousand times," He sighed through muffled hands, "We aren't just going to walk into a bar and ask if anyone has seen Minato recently, like we would with…"

Naruto cut him off, "Why are we looking for this Minato guy?"

"…Are you joking, or are you really that dumb?"

Naruto's face flashed red with irritation.

"Minato is the fourth's name, Naruto."

"…"

Jiraiya, exasperated at having to explain the simplest of concepts, turned his tired face to look Naruto in the eyes, "You do realize that the fourth actually had a name, right? When he was bourn, I didn't just name him 'fourth' in anticipation of being hokage."

"Well you don't have to be so condescending about it!"

Jiraiya cocked an eyebrow in surprise, "Eh? I didn't think you'd know that word,"

"Well," he said, plopping himself down on a rock, "I don't. I just heard you use it once to describe baa-chan and I figured…"

Jiraiya sat next to him on the ground. As he slung his pack off and sat it down next to himself, he stared off into the vast expanse of nothing ahead of them. Fields of grass, the occasional small tree, for the most part they were deep in the middle of nowhere. "How any child of the brilliant Minato could be such a dumbass is something I'll never understand."

"…Wait, what?" He had hit the pinnacle of confusion, "The fourth…er, Minato had a kid? Do I know him!?"

"Kid, you're the biggest dumbass I've ever had the displeasure of knowing."

Naruto jumped to his feet and started yelling in his defense, "Well maybe if you actually told me some stuff I wouldn't be so clueless all the time! Now who is this kid of his? Or are you going to tell me he's dead too?!"

Jiraiya brought his fist down hard on top of Naruto's head, hoping to knock some sense into him. "Of course he's still alive, you idiot! Do I have to spell it out for you?! Minato had a kid right?"

"Dammit, do you have to hit me so hard?!"

Jiraiya ignored his complaints and continued, "When the fourth sealed the kyuubi inside you, he chose you for a reason. Care to guess what the reason was?"

"…He knew I'd grow up to be the greatest ninja to ever live?"

"If not the dumbest…" he muttered under his breath, "He chose _you_ because_ you_ are his son!"

"I'm…?"

Jiraiya hit his palm against his forehead, "You would think – after some sixteen odd years at looking at his fathers face carved into the mountainside – that the son of the greatest ninja to ever live would maybe wonder at least once how it was he happened to look so much like the village's greatest hero!"

"Well, I just thought it was kind of a coincidence…"

"Clearly, you didn't get your brains from either of your parents."

"Wait, now, so…if he was _my_ father, and you were _his _father, then that means…you're my grandfather? And baa-chan is my grandmother?"

"Nothing gets past you, does it?"

Naruto sat on his rock in silence for a few moments. He lowered his head in quiet thought. After a few moments he turned his head toward Jiraiya. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you leave me in the orphanage?"

Jiraiya responded with his own silence, as he thought for a few moments. "The best answer is that it was for safety reasons. There is always the chance that you could have been kidnapped, but as you grew, it became relatively obvious from your looks who you were, that and your last name provided a good hint. Eventually, that first idea gave way to the new idea that telling you might make you arrogant, or feel like you were growing up in his shadow. Considering you were training to be a ninja at this point, it was decided that this would be a bad idea. Eventually, it was just decided that you would find out on your own."

"And you?"

He paused again, searching for the words. "…Shortly after we fought, and he headed off to the fight, I packed up my things and left the village. I had thought at the time that perhaps it would have been best if I left him alone. It wasn't until about two weeks later that I heard of his passing, as well as that of his wife. I rushed back to the village, but I had already missed his funeral. When I inquired about you, I was assured that adoptive parents were lined up for you. I knew the family, and I knew they could do a better job raising you than I could on my own."

Naruto shifted a little on his rock, "So, what…"

"…Happened?" he finished, "Well, you were supposed to be adopted by Hyuga Hiashi, believe it or not. Re-assured that you would be in good hands, I left the village again to pursue my life as a hermit. Of course, his decision was vetoed by the clan council shortly after I left, primarily because you were an outsider, but even more so because they succumb to the same thinking as the rest of the village. They didn't see you, only the demon. By the time I next returned to the village, you were already out of the orphanage and living on your own."

Naruto sat in quiet on his rock, slowly digesting everything. He was the son of the fourth hokage, Jiraiya was his grandfather, Tsunade was his grandmother, he was almost adopted by the Hyugas, and he had been lied to all his life. Well, he knew he had been lied to, but frankly this brought things to a whole new level. This time, however, he didn't feel as angry as he did when he found out he was the vessel of the Kyuubi. Granted, he was still mad at not having been told, but he felt he had gained something much more important, a sense of self. He wasn't just Naruto. He was the son of the fourth hokage, and the grandson of two senin.

He sat like this, mulling it all over in his head for several more minutes, adjusting to the new idea.

"So, where do we go from here?" he asked.

"We should reach the Whirlpool nation later this afternoon. From there we start asking around."

Naruto considered this for a moment, "Why the Whirlpool nation?"

Jiraiya smiled, "Now you're asking the right questions! Your mother, actually, was from the Whirlpool. Your father met her there on a mission as a jounin, fell in love with her, and brought her back with him to Konoha. He currently spends his days as a wandering hermit, and never stays anywhere long, though I'd say because of his connection to this place, we'd have a much better chance of finding him around here."

Naruto slipped his pack back on, "So we ask around until we find someone who knows where we can find him?"

"Nope," replied Jiraiya, as he picked up his own pack, "We won't find him no matter how hard we look. We spread the word that we're looking for someone who calls himself "The Unnamed Hermit", and if he wants to meet us, he'll find us."

"How long do you think it will be before I meet him?"

"Hard to tell," He replied with a sigh, "Could be days, months, maybe a few years… Who knows, maybe he'll never seek us out."

Naruto knew it was a possibility that he would never find him. In fact, given what he knew about Jiraiya and his father, he doubted either of them really would want to meet up. If nothing else though, he hoped his father would at least want to meet him.

Rested up, Naruto and Jiraiya got to their feet, Jiraiya's joints creaking as he rose.

* * *

The sun was setting outside, the brilliant oranges and reds reflecting off the lake. They canvassed the local bars and whore houses, spreading the word that they were looking for the Unknown Hermit. Of course, no one had heard of him, much less knew where they could find him. They achieved their goal, though. As they wandered the streets later that afternoon, they overheard whisperings about the two strangers who had entered town looking for someone.

Satisfied that they had done their task for the day, they checked into a local hotel for the night. Naruto now stood by the window watching the sun set as he continued to mill over the day's events. Less than a week ago, he was the only surviving member of his family, but now he had a grandmother, a grandfather, and somewhere, a dad.

Jiraiya had left about an hour ago to go to one of the local brothels. He insisted that Naruto come with him for a "follow-up lesson" to his lecture a few days ago. Unfortunately, Jiraiya wouldn't take no for an answer. A simple gen-jutsu later, and Naruto was left without much choice.

…Though he _did_ have to admit he enjoyed the lap dance. But that was beside the point. He convinced Jiraiya to let him go back to the room about a half an hour later. Jiraiya, of course, decided to stay behind.

There was a gentle breeze flowing in through the open window, cooling his face and causing the curtains to flutter.

A voice behind him brought him back to reality.

"So, you've grown since the last time I saw you."

* * *

Again, I'm really sorry for how long this took to get back to this story. I'm going to do my best to keep up with this story on the weekends from now on. I understand I haven't given you much reason to trust me to be consistent in this matter, but please stick with me! All reviews are welcome, as they are the fuel which drives my desire to write for you all!

-Ghstphantom3


	4. Reunion

New chapter for all you folks! Between all the tests I had last week, I barely had time to get anything written. Here I am though, new chapter in hand! Enjoy!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

"Now I spend my time  
looking all around  
For a man that's nowhere  
to be found,  
Until I find him,  
I'm never gonna stop searching  
I'm going to find my man  
gonna travel round."

-Wrathchild, Iron Maiden

Chapter 4: Reunion

"Yeah, I figure I would have," Naruto said, as he slowly turned around. Granted, he had no idea who was behind him, he just wanted to feel like he was in a really dramatic movie. "Who the hell are you?"

"Who the hell do you think I am?" The man in front of him was a few inches taller than he was, probably just under six feet tall. He wore a long, plain grey robe over a faded blue top and a matching bottom. All of his clothes appeared tattered and dirty. His hair was a pale, spiky, disheveled blond, dulled with age and stress. It hung to the base of his neck. His face was just as the pictures in the textbooks had depicted it, though slightly lined and tired. His eyes, however, retained their piercing bright blue gaze.

"No wasted words with you are there?"

It only then occurred to Naruto that he had been staring at this man for almost a minute without saying anything, "…Minato?"

"That would be dad, to you."

There was no other sound in the room aside from their hushed voices. The breeze blew gently through the room rustling the Fourth's grey, tattered cloak. Suddenly, Naruto lashed out, connecting his fist to his father's left eye with a thud. The fourth made no attempt to dodge, and did not flinch as the blow came.

"All right, I certainly deserved at least that much."

"God damn right you did!" Naruto shouted at him, as he pointed an accusatory finger at his father, "Now I've got a few questions for you, and I want some fucking answers!"

"I'd have expected nothing less from our first meeting in fifteen years."

Naruto plopped himself down on one of the beds and started counting off his questions on his fingers, "Why did you leave the village? Why didn't you come back for me? And most of all, why were you never there for me?"

"Grief, guilt, and shame are the short answers to those questions, but I expect you'd want some more detail than that…"

Naruto sat stone faced and silent, glaring daggers at his father.

"My plan, when fighting the Kyuubi was to sacrifice myself for the good of the village, I was going to entrust your care to your mother after I died. But for some reason, she went against our agreed plan. I was just about to complete the series of hand seals when your mother rushed onto the battlefield, pleading with me to find another way for your sake. I yelled back for her to get out of the area so she wouldn't be killed.

"I was distracted just long enough for the Kyuubi to get a lucky hit in. To this day I don't know where it came from. When I came to, your mother was already using the jutsu I had planned to use. The God of Death loomed behind her, having already removed the Kyuubi's soul from its body. It was too late, but I tried desperately to break her jutsu and save her life. The end result of my feeble attempt only succeeded in splitting the yin and yang parts of the Kyuubi's soul. One was sealed with your mother's soul, and the shinigami took her life. The other half of the Kyuubi's soul still remained however. Blinded by rage and grief I fought to keep it restrained so it wouldn't return to its physical body and continue its rampage. I did the only thing I could do. I sealed it away. I'm sorry it had to be you, Naruto, but the seal would only work with a chakra system that hadn't fully formed yet, and being as you were only a few days old, you were the best candidate."

Naruto got up and paced the room, "Okay, then why didn't you stick around to take care of me?

Minato took a deep, heavy sigh, "As the dust settled, I had to come to grips with everything that had happened in the previous hour. I had just watched my wife die, and I was powerless to stop it. Combine that with the emotional head-trip that had been dumped on me right before the battle, and I just had to escape for a while to clear my head."

"You mean the argument with Jiraiya?"

Minato winced, "Don't mention that man to me. I still can't forgive him for never telling me the truth."

"At least he looked after you, you son of a bitch!"

Silence from Minato, as his bright blue eyes drooped toward the floor, "…After I fled the battlefield, several people took to believing that I had died, being as no one could find me. I had only meant to have been away for a few minutes, but as I got to thinking of your mother, I lost track of time. I ended up spending three weeks alone in the woods grieving for your mother and milling over the revelations Jiraiya had left me with before the fight. When I finally returned to the village, I found out they had taken me for dead, and that the Third had come out of retirement to take over in my stead.

"After a long talk with him, we agreed that it was perhaps best that I maintain the illusion that I had died. The fact that I had let my emotions get away from me for three weeks could have been seen as a sign of weakness to rival villages. With the recent Kyuubi attack, we were particularly vulnerable. He assured me that you would be well taken care of by the elderly neighbors we had left you with for as long as possible, and after that he would see to it that you found a good home. I didn't want to leave you, but for the good of the village I had to."

Naruto was close to boiling over with rage. He knew his father was right, but that still didn't excuse him from all of the suffering he had gone through.

"Do you know the shit I went through as a kid?! Because you didn't come back, I grew up in a fucking orphanage! No one cared about me because they only saw the demon you sealed in me! That hate passed on to their kids, and even though they didn't know why, they all despised me too! I had no friends for the first twelve years of my life! I was hated by everyone!"

"Naruto…"

"Everyone!" he cut his father off, "It wasn't until I was about to graduate the academy that I found my first friend, and even then, Iruka-sensei was a teacher, not a kid my own age! I made friends after that, but you can't understand the kind of hellish torment I grew up with! You may have been an "orphan" too, but at least you weren't hated by an entire village for reasons you didn't understand!"

A sobering calm fell over the room. Minato stewed in the silence.

"I was wrong to leave you behind. There hasn't been a day when I haven't regretted my decision. It's the most selfish thing I have ever done. I want to make up for it though. Jiraiya is on his way up the stairs as we speak. I don't want to talk to him, not yet, anyway. Be ready at midnight tonight, I'll come back for you and take you to one of my favorite training grounds to teach you a few things. For now though, I'd appreciate if you didn't let jiraiya know I was here."

And before Naruto could respond, his father was gone, disappeared into thin air. No puff of smoke, no blur of motion, no flash of light… nothing. Naruto stood staring at the empty space where Minato had just been.

There was a soft click in the lock behind him and a creak as the door swung open. An obviously drunk jiraiya staggered into the room and slammed the door behind him. Naruto spared a glance over his shoulder at him, pausing only to scoff under his breath at his grandfather's drunken ways.

As he walked over toward his backpack to set up for the night he heard Jiraiya stumble toward his own bed. He picked up his bag and turned around just in time to watch the spectacle that was Jiraiya stumbling over a chair, falling face first to the floor, and subsequently passing out, neck tilted to the side and arms askew with one leg still propped up on the chair.

* * *

He hadn't slept that night. Rather, Naruto lay in bed staring out the window at the full moon, waiting for midnight. The only sounds were the crickets outside the window and the soft snores of Jiraiya, tumbled up in a heap in the corner where he had blacked out earlier that evening. He had been surprised, actually, at just how deep of a sleep a drunk can go into. He chuckled to himself as he watched the drunken idiot snore. 

He rolled back over on to his side to look out the window again. It had to be near midnight soon. He could hardly wait to see his father again. Deep down, he still despised the man for leaving him behind, but at the same time, the excitement at having finally met him after all these years combining with the curiosity as to what he could learn from the man was working to cancel out that anger.

There was a sudden _thud_ as a kunai lodged itself in the windowsill.

Startled, Naruto jumped bolt upright in his bed. Glancing over, he spotted the kunai and knew it was time. Quickly, he slid out from between the sheets. He had kept his cloths on so he would be ready to go at a moment's notice. Quietly, he grabbed his gear and pulled the kunai out of the wooden window frame. He paused for a moment to inspect it, turning it over in his hands. It was a rather unique shape for a kunai, rather than one large blade, it was formed by three smaller blades: a central prong and two others sticking out at slight angles. There was a small piece of paper rolled around the handle.

A hand clasped Naruto on the shoulder from behind, and he disappeared.

* * *

Okay, so, I'm getting back into the swing of things! Hope you enjoyed this one. I apologize for having so many of these chapters being mostly back and forth bantering, but I just need to get all of this crap out of the way before I can get into the real meat and potatoes of the story. Next chapter should be much less on the emotional "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!?" side, and more in line with where this story is going. Hope to see some reviews! 


	5. Square One

Hello all! I apologize that this chapter took so long to come out! It was just one essay after another for three weeks in a row, followed shortly thereafter by two big tests. Long story short, college has been keeping me busy. Either way, I'm here to rectify that now. Enjoy the chapter!

Just for a quick recap: Last chapter Naruto met face to face with his father for the first time, some background was filled in, and Minato returned at midnight for Naruto.

* * *

A Brief History of Life

I feel for you

(Better fuckin' go away)

I will behave

Better fuckin' go away

I'm doin' the best I ever did

I'm doin' the best that I can

I'm doin' the best I ever did

-Godsmack, Whatever

Chapter 5: Square One

Like blinking his eyes, or at least, that's the best he could do to describe the sensation. There had been a momentary blackness, but it passed so quickly, for several seconds afterward, he had thought he had only blinked. Granted, he was no longer in the hotel room, much less the city from what he could tell.

A brief survey of the space around him showed a mostly empty field, perhaps a quarter mile across. It was littered with small craters, broken rocks, boulders, and the occasional gnarled tree. Along the perimeter of the field was some rather dense foliage, from what he could tell by the light of the full moon. "Where the hell am I?" he asked to no one in particular.

A chuckle behind him, "Ha, it never gets old! You have that same look of utter and complete confusion on your face as everyone else does when I take them along with my favorite little jutsu." He smiled at the back of his son's head, as he watched him slowly turn around to face him. "To answer your question, we're about twenty three miles south by south west of the city right now."

A slow blink before Naruto shook his head in disbelief. He met his father's azure eyes again. "We traveled twenty three miles in the blink of an eye?"

"Impressed?

"Even Lee would have taken almost two minutes to move that far! Without his leg weights he might be able to cut it down to just under a minute, but…wow."

Minato smiled, "If you can handle the other things I have to teach you, then just maybe I'll teach you how to do that. I'm kind of proud to be the only one that can do it though, so you might have to beg me."

"Like fuck I'll beg you! You owe me big for abandoning me!" Naruto went to lash out at his father like earlier, but just as he swung, the man just disappeared. No cloud of dust, no motion blur, just gone.

"I already gave you your free hit. I'm not going to let you get another one until you earn it." The voice was directly behind him now, whispering, and judging by the warm breath he could feel on his neck, he was leaning just over his right shoulder.

Naruto drove his elbow backward with all the force he could muster into where he predicted his fathers face would be. His blow was stopped prematurely, however, as Minato now stood directly to his right, with a firm grasp on his wrist.

"What, are you having fun with this or something?"

Minato was smiling, laughing almost, "Yes, actually! I haven't had a chance to play around like this with someone else in years!" He laughed, "I forgot how much fun just messing with someone could be!"

Naruto plopped himself in the dirt and rested his back up against a small rock, "So, are you going to teach me anything, or did I come out here for nothing?"

His father shook his head, "I can't teach you anything until I find out how much you can do. That said, come at me with everything you've got. Show me what you can do!"

* * *

Jiraiya smacked his lips, as he opened one eye halfway, squinting in the moon-lit room. His neck and his back were killing him. A quick survey of himself revealed why, when he realized he had passed out after falling over a chair.

Slowly, he lifted his head a few inches, just high enough to hover it over the puddle of drool the right side of his face had been basting in for the past few hours. His old, battered body protested as fiercely as it could as he lifted himself to his feet. Now what was it he had woken up for? The bathroom, that was it. But why didn't he feel like he had to go? He glanced down to spy another, larger pool on the floor, near his puddle of drool.

'_Well, that's what I get for drinking so much.'_ He told himself, making his way toward the shower. He'd have to mop up his mess afterward, and find some relatively dryer clothes.

His hand rested on the door knob to the bathroom. Something else was odd, but he couldn't place it for some reason. His eyes swept over the room several more times before they came to rest on Naruto's empty bed.

'_That's not too odd,'_ he told himself, _'Naruto disappears in the middle of the night to train every now and then if he's having trouble sleeping.'_

And then his eyes caught it. The three pronged kunai was lying on the bed, where Naruto had left it. There was no mistaking it, he had seen it a hundred times before, and no one else he had ever known had used that antique style of kunai. This could only mean that Minato had made contact with Naruto, and they had gone somewhere to talk.

The fact that they had left told him that Minato had not wanted to talk to him yet. He was perfectly content with that, though. Personally, he didn't want to talk to him yet either. Meeting Naruto for the first time in sixteen years would have been a lot for even the legendary Fourth Hokage to handle in one night, let alone face his own father in the same night.

A thought occurred to him, as Jiraiya took two squishy steps into the bathroom. What would his son have thought of him when, after not seeing him in some sixteen years, he had been passed out drunk on the floor, having fallen over a chair, and subsequently lying in a puddle of drool? Sixteen years ago, Minato would have found it hilarious; he wouldn't have let him live it down for weeks. Tonight however, he found it hard to believe his son would have felt anything other than shame at being related to the drunken fool on the floor.

He closed the door and showered quickly. He wanted to be sure to be asleep by the time they came back. He knew it would be best to face his demons some other time.

* * *

"All right, come at me!"

Naruto smirked, "For how long, old man?"

His father matched his smile, "Until you can land a hit on me, of course!"

'_This is going to be fun'_ Naruto thought, grinning.

In one swift motion, he pulled a kunai and lunged at his father. The blade was less than an inch from the man's face when he disappeared. Of course, he had expected this. But as long as his father didn't know what he could do, he might as well try to lure him into a false sense of security before whipping out the big guns.

"Come on, now! I expected much better from my son!" he taunted, from a perch on one of the nearby boulders, "Has the academy gone soft? Or were you just jerking off in the back row to the girl with pretty eyes during the lectures?" He emphasized the last point with a crude hand gesture.

Naruto paused, looking confused at the man on the rock. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, back when I went there, the lectures were pretty boring. You had to pass the time somehow right?" he said with a smug, knowing smile.

Naruto pointed an accusatory finger, "You're a fucking pervert!"

"It runs in the family! Now, quit talking and come hit me!"

The taunt had worked; Naruto didn't care about tricking his father anymore. He just wanted to kick his ass. He didn't want to use this until later, but he had plenty of other aces up his sleeves.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Six clones appeared around him, then charged straight for their target. A quick roundhouse kick dispatched the first four clones, a right-cross jab the fifth, and a back kick the sixth.

"Oh, so you do know a good jutsu or two!" he chuckled, "Let's see if you can dodge too!" He tossed one of his special kunai toward Naruto. The kunai flew through the air as Naruto turned to dodge, only to get clipped in the shoulder.

"No good at that either, are you?"

A puff of smoke revealed that Naruto had disappeared, and had tricked his father into attacking another shadow clone.

"Well, at least you have the simple bait and switch maneuver down. Which means…" hesitating only a moment to glance over his shoulder, he took a quick sidestep to the left and watched as Naruto soared past him, just missing an assault from behind, and come to a crash landing against a pile of rocks.

Minato put his hands on his hips and laughed, "Hahaha, nice try though!" He took a step forward to his son and held out his hand, "Here,"

Naruto took his hand and pulled himself up.

"My first lesson for tonight: if you are going to pull a surprise attack on someone, don't attack from directly behind them. It's too cliché, and your opponent will expect it. Attack from above or below whenever possi…"

"RASENGAN!"

Minato snapped his eyes skyward just in time to see an ever expanding blue spiraling orb descending toward his face. At the last possible second, he disappeared, and then reappeared a few feet off to the side. The Naruto with the rasengan crashed into the ground, leaving a telltale spiral crater behind before it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Well, I must say I'm pleasantly surprised!" Naruto's father was leaning up against a small tree, catching his breath, "You lulled me into a false sense of security, tried to trick me with a flawless bait and switch, and then employed my advice immediately to take advantage of my letting my guard down with one of my own signature jutsus." He paused to take a breath and dropped to one knee, "Too bad you still didn't hit me."

Naruto smirked, "I wouldn't be so sure."

Minato sat confused for a moment. He had moved in time hadn't he? Then he felt it, a warm trickle on his forehead. He reached up and felt it, then brought his fingers to in front of his face. It was a dot of blood, barely a scratch at all, but regardless…

"Okay," he sighed, "So you scratched me. But I hardly think that counts as a hit!"

Naruto went into a huff, "What the hell do you mean it doesn't count! I drew blood didn't I!?"

"That doesn't count!"

It would appear childishness ran in the family. The two weren't fighting, they were throwing tantrums.

"Wah, wah, wah! I lost to my son! I'm an ugly toad! Wah, wah, wah!" Naruto was running around in circles, waving his arms in the air.

"This doesn't count as a loss! And I'm not ugly you stupid retard!"

"Fine! Want me to do it again! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" With a puff, a second Naruto appeared next to the original and started forming a rasengan in the original's hand.

Minato hesitated as the anger on his face melted into confusion, "Wait, what are you doing? Why are you using a clone?"

"So I can kick your ass again!" Naruto shouted at him, obviously still irritated.

He pointed at the clone, "No, I mean, why are you using a clone to help you form the rasengan?"

Naruto was dumbfounded, "Uh, I always have. It's too hard to concentrate enough to form a rasengan by myself."

His father was intrigued by this, "Maybe…maybe that's the key I need to finish off the wind element rasengan." He scratched his chin, "Give me a sec to try this would ya?" He formed his hands into the appropriate seal "Kage Bunshin no…"

"You mean I can do something you can't!?"

Minato turned his head toward Naruto and froze, "…What?"

"I can do something you can't do! Hahaha!" Naruto was positively overjoyed, running in circles, jumping off rocks, basically a victory dance, only it looked less like a dance and more like a seizure.

"Bullshit! I've been working on this thing my whole life! No way some retard son of mine could beat me to the punch!"

He stopped and smiled maliciously, "Watch me." Forgoing the normal exclamation, he brought his hands together, forming two clones beside him. The three quickly got to work, as the winds started whipping up around them, emanating from a glowing blue mass at their core. The grass rustled and hair fluttered as the two clones disappeared in a puff of smoke. Slowly, he lifted it above his head, the blue core with its spiraling arms.

"You're going to want to get clear." The sadistic smile spread even wider.

There was a brief look of awe and horror on his father's face, just before he disappeared into the tree line.

He spotted his target, a relatively large boulder about five feet high, marking the center of the field. Quickly, he lunged at the rock, as he could feel the jutsu starting to fade. Without a second to spare, he made contact.

For one brief moment, the night sky lit up as though a thousand suns shone overhead. As soon as the initial flash dimmed, it gave way to a spiraling ball of blue light, expanding outward and destroying everything in its path with a deafening roar.

When the energy finally dissipated, a crater almost ninety feet wide and forty feet deep dominated the center of the field. Naruto crouched on one knee at the bottom of the hole, catching his breath. Scratches littered his face and arms.

He looked up to see his father appear in front of him.

Minato fished for words, but nothing came as his jaw hung slack, "I…I…hot damn!"

Naruto chuckled; this was exactly the reaction he was looking for.

"I didn't think it was possible, much less that my own kid would beat me to the punch!" His fathers eyes were still glazed over in awe. Gently, he shook his head and regained his composure, "But still, it did a number on you to be right there with it as it goes off. You need a way to get out of there as soon as you hit with that thing!"

"Well, maybe if you were to teach me how to…"

His father held up a hand to cut him off, "First, you're going to have to go back to square one with that rasengan. There's no excuse for having such poor chakra control that you can't form a proper rasengan. That and you're going to need chakra control far greater than that in order to master my other technique."

"You mean you'll teach me that yellow flash technique of yours?" He practically screamed with excitement.

"Of course. I meant to teach it to you all along. I just needed a gauge of where to start with you. Of course, you'll have to let me study that futon rasengan of yours in exchange."

Naruto stuck out his hand to shake, "Deal."

His father stared at the extended hand for a moment. Suddenly, he grabbed it and pulled his son toward him and grasped him in a tight bear hug, "Deal," he whispered, "It's the least I could do after all these years."

* * *

The sun was just starting to peek through the blinds in the hotel room when the two of them appeared by Naruto's bed side.

"It's going to take me a while to get used to that," Naruto mused, as he plopped himself down on the bedside.

"Heh, it took me most of a month to get used to it after I got it down. At the rate you learn things I'd say it'll take you a day at the most." He reached down and picked up the kunai Naruto had left on the bed and turned it over in his hands a few times, before extending it toward Naruto, "Keep this with you at all times. If you ever need me in an emergency, throw it, and it will alert me. I'll be there immediately to help you."

Naruto smiled, "I will…dad."

In another blink, Minato was gone, likely wanting to avoid talking to Jiraiya just yet. Quietly, Naruto tucked the special kunai into his pouch and slipped into bed. He barely had a moment to reflect on the night's events before sleep took him.

He had restarted his training with the rasengan. His first step had been to get it to form using only his left hand for assistance. Though shaky at first, he got better as the night went on. He was disappointed when he first saw the sun peeking over the tree line, but was reassured in the fact that they had agreed to meet again the next night at midnight.

On the other side of the room, Jiraiya rolled over, trying to go back to sleep. It was amazing, this way this kid could make friends with anyone. He hadn't seen his father in, well, ever, really. He knew he had to be harboring some animosity toward the man for the pain in his life, but somehow in the course of one night he had been able to set that aside as though it had never happened.

It was inspiring, to say the least. Maybe after a few more days of drinking himself into oblivion, he might be able to get up the courage to say something on his own. Until then, his hang over would be a plenty good reason to go back to sleep.

* * *

Okay, again I'm sorry for the delay, college work can be a bitch at times. That aside, I hope to hear from all of you soon!

* * *


	6. Corruption

Sorry it's been so long since I've gotten you all a new chapter. Final exams for college were demanding my attention for a while, and after that, I just kind of hit a bit of writers block halfway through the chapter. All is well now, so enjoy the chapter!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

Yeah, are you ready girls?

Yeah, are you ready now?

Whoa! yeah!

Kickstart my heart

Give it a start

-Motley Crue, Kick Start My Heart

Chapter 6: Corruption

Slowly, Naruto opened his eyes. Bleary and incoherent, all he could see off to his left was a massive blob of what looked to be red, orange, and maybe some yellow. As his eyes came into focus he began to take in where he was.

He was laying on something soft, and the air tasted stale. He took these two as signs that he was back in the hotel room. But something didn't feel right. Slowly he sat up and began to look around. Jiraiya was gone, that much was clear. His neck ached as he turned to look out the window. That blurry mass he had seen earlier must have been the sunrise. Wait, he had watched the sun set the day before from the same window, how could he watch the sun rise and the sun set from the same window? Quickly he glanced over at the clock. The soft glowing numbers told him it was six fifteen. Well, this was the time he normally woke up in the morning.

The prior nights events came back to him in a rush. The skirmish with his father, the rasengan re-training, and finally showing up here and collapsing on the bed. It still felt strange to him though. Either he had been asleep for just under an hour, or just over a day, and why the hell was the sun rising where it had been setting just a day before?

Then it clicked, he had slept through the entire day, and it was presently about time for dinner. It didn't seem right because he knew that Jiraiya would have woken him up to send him off for some training of some sort. The floorboards creaked under his feet as he slowly meandered about the room. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a note left for him by Jiraiaya.

"Naruto," it read, "I've gone out to canvas the bars again. I'll be back late tonight. I've arranged an appointment for you at the hotel's massage parlor at six thirty for you. Until we're contacted, there's nothing we can do. Ask for Nina. Tell her you want the special. You won't regret it."

There was something devious about this letter. But whatever it was, he didn't care enough to let it deter him. He had just enough time to get a bowl of ramen before his appointment. Last nights training had left him particularly stiff, and he knew tonight was going to be hell too. How bad could this "special" service be anyway?

* * *

'_Why do I keep avoiding it?'_ he asked his reflection. Jiraiya had been sitting on the same bar stool since the place opened early that morning. He was starting to get a cramp in his neck from staring so intently into the depths of his drink all day.

'_I don't want to face him. I can't face him yet.'_

He took a deep swig from his glass, and set it down empty with a heavy thud. By now the bartender knew the routine and swept by without a sound, whisking away his empty mug, filling it, and replacing it. There were no words exchanged between them, only a nod of appreciation when the man brought him his new drink. On any other day, the barkeep would have kicked him out hours ago. He was just such a depressing sight, sitting alone at the far end of the bar. He didn't think the man looked like an alcoholic, but he had been going at it all day.

"On the house," the man said as he set down an extra bottle of Sake in front of Jiraiya, "You look like a man who has something he'd like to forget."

"Thanks…" Jiraiya mumbled as a response, his voice scratchy and hoarse. The barkeep paused for a moment, wondering if he was going to say anything, before turning to leave. "I…The last time I saw my son was sixteen years ago. We had an argument so loud and fierce it would have left the gods quaking. Not long after that, he had a brush with death. I haven't seen him since, but I just brought his long lost son to meet him."

The barkeep turned around, "Afraid to fight with him again?"

"Yeah," he muttered, "It's been so long, and we parted on such horrible terms. I just don't want to relive that fight again, especially now that his son is just meeting the father he never knew. I just don't want to ruin it between them."

The barkeep paused for a minute in thought, dragging his rag idly back and forth across the wood surface in front of him, "What if it could be another 16 years? There's always a chance you two could never make up. Do you really want to carry all that grief with you to your grave? I may not be you..." he paused, "but personally, I'd rather take the chance at making peace with my family than not. At least then you could say you tried."

Jiraiya studied his beer a few seconds more before downing it and one quick go. Pulling some money out of his pocket, he slapped it down on the bar and stood up to go.

"Thanks for the advice." Quietly, he turned to leave.

As he crossed the threshold and exited the door, he could hear screams, howls …something coming from the hotel across the road. Without a moment's hesitation, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch.

'_6:47, yeah, that's Naruto all right.'_ He had always wondered how Naruto would react to getting a blowjob. He smirked, now he knew.

* * *

The massage had been helpful, that much was true. Naruto still didn't know what to think about the way that weird lady tried to end it though. Somehow, he didn't think sucking on his dick like that was completely standard in getting a massage.

As he stood outside the hotel lobby, trying his hardest to recover from that harrowing experience, he saw Jiraiya crossing the street toward him. He was grinning from ear to ear, so it was obvious the old bastard knew damn well what he had just been through, as if the note hadn't been evidence enough.

"Enjoy the special, did you?"

"You!" Naruto shouted, pointing a very animated accusatory finger at him, "You set me up for…that!" He flustered a little at the end.

He spread his arms wide, in a gesture of innocence, glancing skyward, "Why…whatever do you mean? All I did was set you up with a masseuse!" He paused, gasping sarcastically, "Naruto, did you do something…" He grinned, "…dirty?"

"You perverted old bastard! You set me up!"

Jiraiya chose to ignore him, "Did she finish? Or are you throwing a fit for nothing?"

"Finish? Finish what? Of course she finished, otherwise she wouldn't have started sucking my…you know!"

He rubbed his temples in frustration, "No, you idiot, did she make you…never mind, we wouldn't be having this conversation if she had."

Naruto was truly confused now, "If she had what?"

"Never mind!" Jiraiya shouted with a huff, "I had to pay a lot of money to get her to give you her special service and you didn't even appreciate it!"

"What was there to appreciate? She was using her teeth!"

Jiraiya grimaced, then paused for a moment, "…Wait, was she a cute girl about 5' 4", with shoulder length brown hair, and a c-cup?"

"Err, no," he stammered, "About 6'1", waist length blond hair, and an a-cup."

"Did it look like she had fallen face first onto a porcupine then took it home to cuddle?"

Naruto was astounded, "Y…yeah, that's her!"

Jiraiya just shook his head, "They gave you Nino instead of Nina then. They did that to me once. She's a decent masseuse, just don't _ever_ get the special from her."

Naruto plopped himself down on the curb, "You could have told me that before she drew blood!"

"She drew…Gah!" he winced and cringed before sitting down next to Naruto.

Naruto grinned, "She did have a nice ass though."

Jiraiya glanced sidelong at Naruto, cocking an eyebrow, "Since when do you look at girls' asses?"

Naruto shrugged, "I dunno, it's like something clicked into place when I first saw her bend over to pick something up off the ground."

Jiraiya just stared at him in stunned silence.

"It's just like…now, there's nothing else I'd rather do but latch on to that luscious ass and…" Naruto started groping the air in front of him with a mischievous grin plastered across his face.

"Well, you're a late bloomer all right, but so suddenly?"

Naruto smirked slyly, "She wasn't wearing panties…"

"All right, no more about this! You'll have to do your experimenting later. What have you been doing for your training?"

Naruto humphed and took a moment to contemplate whether he should tell Jiraiya about meeting his father or not, before deciding against it, "Well I don't have any ideas for…"

"Bullshit!" Jiraiya interjected, "There's no way Minato would have let you off without some homework!"

Naruto stared blankly at him, confusion dripping like sweat off his puckered face _'How the hell did the old pervert know I…'_

"Ah, so that _was_ him in the room last night?"

"Er, yeah, but, how did you know it was him?"

Jiraiya sighed, "I was right then. I knew some part of him would be excited to meet you after all these years, but he still hasn't forgiven me. I suspected as much."

Naruto hung his head and mumbled something.

Jiraiya chose to ignore him and continue on with his sad diatribe, "Do you think he's in a good mood? I might just have to drop in on your training tonight."

Naruto chuckled, "That'll be a first; you supervising my training."

* * *

The two sat next to each other in silence for several more minutes, just watching the people walking about from one place to another, the dust scattering under their heels and coming to rest again. Moments later, someone else would come along, kick up some more dust, and would disappear just as soon as they had come.

"I guess we've wasted enough time," Jiraiya winced as he slowly worked himself up to his feet, "let's go someplace where you can show me what you've been up to. But before that, let me make up for that debacle earlier."

"What do you mean?"

He shot a quick nod in the direction of an approaching red head, "Follow my lead."

Just as the redheaded girl passed by, Jiraiya reached out and grabbed her ass. The girl, a stunning redhead who looked to be about Naruto's age whipped around and glared at him. She was one of the cutest girls he had seen in a while: her dark red hair was just a little past her shoulders, and had been pulled back into a single, neat ponytail. A few soft freckles dotted her cheeks, accentuating her bright green, soft and caring eyes. And of course, she had one of the nicest racks he had ever seen.

"What the fuck, asshole!?"

Jiraiya put on the best innocent face he could, "What are you looking at me for? He's the one that did it!" he shouted, pointing at Naruto.

If Jiraiya was going to pin his antics on him, Naruto would be damn sure the old man got what was coming to him, "What are you always pinning it on me for you dirty old man! I can hardly walk down the street without you grabbing some girl's ass and blaming it on me!"

Jiraiya shot Naruto a glare; this wasn't what he had meant when he had said to follow his lead. Naruto grinned back at him and he knew he was enjoying this. "Oh no, don't you try and…"

"Shut up grandpa!" the redhead shouted at him, "How dare you blame this on poor sweet…" she turned to Naruto, "Who are you?"

"Naruto!" he practically shouted, as he smiled and extended his hand.

"Ayaka," she replied, taking his hand with a gentle shake and a warm smile. She whipped around, her smile melting into a scour, "How dare you blame this on Naruto!" There was a thunderous crack as her palm connected with Jiraiya's left cheek.

Jiraiya rubbed his face in pain, but Naruto knew he was hamming it up. "This guy gets slapped so often, I doubt he even really felt it. …Kick him in the rocks."

He barely had a moment to flash an angry scowl at Naruto before Ayaka's foot connected with his groin.

Naruto grinned and chuckled under his breath as he watched the old man crumple to the ground.

Ayaka turned and smiled sweetly at him, "Is he always this shameless?"

Naruto considered telling her that Jiraiya was staring at her ass, but decided that the old man had had enough abuse for one day, and opted for a different course of action, "Yeah, he just never seems to learn," he smiled back at her, "Hey, uh, I feel really bad about my grandfather's behavior, could I make it up to you by taking you out some time?"

"Actually, I was just on my way to get some dinner, if you'd like to come along. There's a great ramen place I know just around the corner."

Naruto was stunned silent. A gorgeous girl who liked ramen, perchance as much as he did? It was not possible.

"Err, if ramen's no good, I know some other places around here…"

Naruto snapped himself out of his daze, "No! No! Ramen is my favorite!" he shouted, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, earning him a laugh from his new friend. "In fact," he said, "I'm sure ero-senin here would love to pay for dinner for us!" He leaned over to fish Jiraiya's wallet out of his vest.

"Uhnn…fuck you, Naruto." Jiraiya mumbled under his breath, barely clinging to coherency through the pain.

"You don't look well, ero-senin. Why don't you go back to the room and take a nap?"

Ayaka glanced back only momentarily, giggling softly at the old pervert in the dust before Naruto walked over to join her, and she led him down the street.

* * *

Okay, it was good ramen, he'd give them that much, but it could never match Itchiraku Ramen. But who cares? There's no such thing as bad ramen. Unless it's cold from sitting out too long, but even then it's at least mediocre…

"Naruto? …Naruto! Are you paying attention?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, good ramen, eh?" He tried to cover his tracks by taking a big bite, gagging on it for a while, and finally choking it all down. They picked out seats at the bench and had only just been served their dinner. The time in between had been filled with awkward small talk and nervous fidgeting.

Ayaka shook her head and sighed, "I've met a number of people in my travels, but you by far have the shortest attention span of any of them."

Naruto puffed up his chest with pride, "They don't call me Konoha's number one most surprising ninja for nothing!"

Ayaka paused for a moment, "Er, I'm sure that's true," she said, pointing her chopsticks at him, "but what the hell does that have to do with having a short attention span?"

Without another word, he dove back into his ramen, hoping to pretend it never happened. Ayaka, however, was laughing her ass off.

With the ice thoroughly broken, she caught her breath and decided to get to know her friend a little better, "So, you're a ninja too? I'm a chuunin, but with my recent mission completion record, I should be up for a promotion to jounin anytime. How about you?"

"Er," Naruto hesitated, staring in to the depths of his bowl. "The only chuunin exam I've ever been in was interrupted by an attack on the village. Since then, I haven't had a chance to try again."

She looked at him curiously, "So, that mean's you're a…"

"A genin? Yeah, but I could take a Jounin in a fight!"

"Oh?" she smiled coyly at him, poking him in the shoulder, "Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you're prepared to loose to a genin." He said returning the smile and turning to face her.

She narrowed her eyes and wriggled her nose, "Just name the time and the place. I'll be glad to kick your ass any day of the week." She accentuated each word by poking him in the chest with her chopsticks.

He thought for a moment, "How about one week from today? I know a good field a few miles from here we could use."

"What's the matter? Don't think you can take me today?" she teased.

"Of course I could," he replied, "I'm just in the middle of learning a new jutsu, and I want a chance to try it out. Besides, I always work better under pressure."

* * *

Well, I must admit, I had originally planned that chapter to be longer, but it was already so dialog heavy, I decided it best to hold the next scene for the next chapter. That, and it fits better there. Please review if you have the spare time!

* * *


	7. Unity

A Brief History of Life

New chapter! Now with 50 more free! Act now, supplies are running out! No, seriously, I'm never writing a chapter this long ever again. My average is about 6.5 – 7 pages, this one came out to be exactly 10. Good god, I need a break. Enjoy the monster!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

Old man, take a look at my life

I'm a lot like you were.

-Neil Young, Old Man

Chapter 7: Unity

"Are you sure about when he said he'd show up?"

"He said he'd be here the same time as last night."

Naruto and Jiraiya sat next to each other on one of the beds in the hotel room. Jiraiya, having convinced himself to try and reconcile with his son, was dreading the moment when he would appear in front of them. A sick, twisting feeling wrenched in his gut. A tingling sensation ran up and down his legs, as if they were filled with dozens of insects. He was desperate for movement, it was driving him mad like an unscratchable itch, but he forced himself to sit perfectly still all the same. He wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere but here, but he knew he had to face this inevitability. If it hadn't been for Naruto sitting beside him, he would have left hours ago to go back to his drinking. It was for him, and only him that he was willing to go through with this.

The old man took a deep and heavy sigh, trying to calm his nerves. The clock to his right provided the only light in the dark room. The soft green glow of the numbers told him it was 12:27.

"Are you sure it was midnight that he wanted to meet you?"

"For the last time, yes! He's just running late tonight."

Silence permeated the room. The two sat with their backs to the open window, the gentle breeze playing with their hair as they stewed in their own anticipation. Naruto for the better, Jiraiya for the worse.

"He's late."

"He'll be here."

There was no light outside. The clouds blotted out the full moon, leaving only the inky blackness that crept through the streets and over the roof tops.

"It's me. He's only been late once in his life. He knows I'm here and he doesn't want anything to do with me."

"No, he's here. He just doesn't know what he wants to say yet. You two have your problems, but I know it will work out."

'_Well, he's at least partially right,'_ Minato thought to himself, reflecting on his son's words. He had been standing silently in a dark corner of the room behind the pair listening to the conversation. He wouldn't make his move until he heard the words he was waiting for. Until then, his father could stew in his tormentuous self pity for all he cared.

"If that's true, he's probably listening. In which case I want him to know just how sorry I am for what I did all those years ago."

Minato frowned. _'Well, it's a start,' _he thought. In one swift motion he stepped forth from his dark corner, placed a hand on each of them, and the room was empty.

* * *

'_No escaping it now.'_

Jiraiya glanced around, the field illuminated by the full moon peeking through the clouds. He recognized the place almost immediately. The gnarled trees, the demolished rocks, yeah, this was it all right. It had been some eighteen or nineteen years since he had been here, but there was no mistaking it. It had been here all those years ago that Minato had saved the life of the woman who would later become his wife. He had been passing through on his way to a rendezvous, the story went, when he happened upon her, surrounded by Rock nin, and stepped in to lend a hand. Jiraiya grinned, _'He still uses this place as a training ground? No surprise there.'_

He was quickly jarred from his thoughts by an angry voice behind him.

"You've got a _lot_ of nerve showing your face here, after the shit you did!" Minato shouted at him.

"Hey," Jiraiya said, turning around to face him, "I actually…" He was cut short as Minato slugged him in the face, knocking him down off his feet.

"You abandoned me for twelve fucking years! Do you have any idea how much shit I had to put up with growing up as a bastard?"

Jiraiya eased his way up, wiping the trickle of blood from his lip as he stood, "No, I don't. But I tried to make up for it all the same."

"And just when things were finally getting on track, you had to drop that bombshell on me? I looked up to you like an older brother! And then I found out I was your love child with some other woman who I barely knew?"

"You were going to your death!" Jiraiya shouted back at him, "I knew I would never have another chance!"

"Well maybe if you had…"

"Would you two shut the _FUCK UP!?"_ Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs. "He may have left you behind for a few years," he pointed at his father, "but at least he came back to look out for you! That's far more than I can say about my own good for nothing father! Not only did he come back for you, but he came back for me! He trained me one on one for two and a half years. I haven't even known you for two and a half god damn days! Now tell me," he paused, "what the _fuck_ makes you think you're still entitled to a grudge?"

The fourth paused, somber, "…He killed your mother."

Stunned silence from Naruto, "…He, he killed…?"

Minato turned to stare down Jiraiya, "Not in the literal sense, no. He did, however, teach her the Dead Demon Imprisonment jutsu, just after I rushed off to battle. She followed me, waited for an opportunity, and then let herself die instead of me."

Jiraiya countered, "She came to me wailing and moaning about how you were going to kill yourself for the good of the village! She made me see that your death was not what was best for everyone! You were going to be needed in the rebuilding, but all you could think of was killing yourself for glory!"

"For glory my ass! I did it because I knew it was my responsibility as hokage to sacrifice my life for the village!"

"Would the two of you just be quiet for a few god damn seconds?!"

The two stopped, leering at Naruto.

"I agree, teaching my mom how to kill herself was a bad idea, but if you," he glared at his father, "hadn't been so hell-bent on suicide and had taken a few fucking seconds to think things through, you might have found a different way to fight the kyuubi, and my mother wouldn't have had to kill herself!"

"Yeah, but the point is…" Minato started,

"Fuck your point!" Naruto shouted, "The _real _point is that the past is the past, mom is dead, and because neither of you will stop arguing, what's left of our family is in tatters!" he paused to take a breath, calming himself as he dropped to a seat on the dew soaked grass. He looked up at them, his large blue eyes glimmering in the pale moonlight, "When I first found out my father was alive, and that I was going to get to meet him, I was ecstatic. All I ever wanted was a normal family. A mom and a dad who love me, a younger brother to look up to me. Now, I'm closer to this goal than I've ever been. My mother is dead, and I'll probably never have a little brother, but I still have more now than I ever could have dreamt I would, but you still care more about your pointless bickering then you do about what little family you have left."

"Naruto, son…" Minato extended his hand to him.

"No," he cut him off, "unless the next words out of each of your mouths are 'To hell with this stupid arguing' or at the very least 'I'm sorry', then I'm going to head for home right now and leave the two of you and all your bullshit behind."

The two hung their heads in shame, each hesitating for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for the other to go first,

"Listen, um…" "Hey, I…"

Their wires crossed, their sentences intertwined, from chaos comes peace.

Another pause, Naruto crossed his arms in impatient anticipation.

Jiraiya was the first to speak, "The kid's right, the past is the past. We can't change that, but for his sake…" his voice trailed off.

"Yeah," Minato picked up where his father left off, "And you're right. I put him through far worse then you ever put me through. If what he said is true, then what I really should be doing is thanking you for looking after him."

Jiraiya smiled down at his grandson where he sat on the ground, "Never let anyone tell you your stubborn pigheadedness is a bad thing, Naruto. And speaking of pigheaded," he turned back to Minato, "Your mother wanted me to deliver a message to you in the event we were able to make peace."

Minato's face soured a little, but he kept his composure the best he could.

"She wanted me to tell you that she was sorry, more than you could hope to know. Now," Jiraiya unfolded his arms, "I can vouch for this, and so can Naruto. When we were telling Naruto about her and I, she was the quietest I had ever seen her. I can't even begin to describe how she seemed. Distant and somber are the best words I can think of, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. The point being, you can't even imagine just how much her decision has haunted her through the years."

Minato paused, thinking for a moment, "I'll have to talk with her some day. I want to hear her apology with my own ears. I'll remember what you said about how it affected her though. But for now…" he turned to Naruto, "let's focus on you're training."

* * *

They had been at it for most of two hours. Surprising really, considering the amazing amount of progress Naruto had made.

The night before, he had started work on creating a rasengan without a clone. He was much better off than he had thought he would be. As many times as he had performed a rasengan in the past, particularly while developing the wind rasengan, he had simply grown accustomed to using the clone. As it turned out, he had gained enough unnoticed experience from his clones that he was able to transfer to a two handed rasengan without much extra effort. The hang up now was the amount of time it took him to do it.

"That's good!" his father encouraged him, slowly pacing around his son in a circle, watching. "Last night, it took you almost a minute to get it fully formed, but now," he checked a stopwatch, "thirty eight seconds. You're getting there. When you get it down to fifteen seconds, we'll start training to use only one hand."

Naruto stopped to catch his breath, his father was driving him hard with his training. _'Still,'_ he thought to himself, _'I've worked harder than this in my sleep.'_ He glanced over at Jiraiya, seemingly asleep on top of one of the larger rocks.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Naruto sighed, "I just wish I could get on with that new technique already."

Minato smiled, "All in due time. There's no rush now is there? We have all the time in the world."

"Well that's the thing," Naruto frowned," I kinda challenged one of the local whirlpool ninjas to a fight in a week…"

His father sighed, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Er," Naruto stuttered, "Well, we were having lunch together, and she was mouthing off, and I kind of…challenged her to a fight."

Minato paused, thinking a minute, "You said it was a she, right?"

"Yeah, I think her name was…'A' something, Ayaka, I think."

"…Is she good looking?"

"Well," he started, "She's the cute type I'd say"

"Red head, freckles, D-cups." Jiraiya chimed in from his perch, not even bothering to open his eyes.

His father gave a coy smile, "The trifecta, eh? Reminds me of your mother…"

"Hey! Don't say creepy shit like that! I'd like to sleep with her if I have the chance!"

"And you hope to impress her with the yellow flash jutsu."

"…Yes?"

His father scoffed, "Feh, you should never sink so low as to try and impress a girl with your jutsu, much less with one of mine!"

Jiraiya burst out laughing where he lay on the rock, whipping a tear away as he came up to a sitting position, "If you're going to lie to the kid at least make it something believable, would ya?"

Minato flustered, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Heh heh, no, I'm sure you do. Don't you remember the night you and I got smashed together? It was the day after you were nominated as hokage, and we had a certain conversation about the night you met your wife?"

"The kid doesn't need to know that! I'm just trying to teach him to be responsible with his abilities."

Jiraiya put on a playful display, waving his arms about casually, "Oh, I dunno, I think the kid should know how his father first wooed his mother."

"No, I don't…"

"What's the matter dad," Naruto interrupted him, "you didn't trick mom into sleeping with you, did you?" he put on a sheepish grin.

"I…er…"

Jiraiya picked it up, "The official story goes something like this: your father was going to meet up with his team mates just outside the whirlpool, when he happened upon a lone kunoichi in a field, this field, actually. She was surrounded on all sides by rock nin, and your father stepped in to help her fight them off. The _real_ story…"

"Please don't…" Minato moped.

"…is that your father happened upon this striking young lady out for an evening stroll, and decided to show off to her. He created a few clones, disguised them, and then stepped in to save the day."

"So it worked?" Naruto asked, all too eagerly.

Minato was blushing, "Heh, well, she caught on when one of my clones tried to feel her up."

"Gave him a black eye for it, she did." Jiraiya said with a chuckle

"Which brings me to my next life lesson," Minato hastened to get in, "If ever you're caught in your antics, let her get a free hit in. It gives her back a little dignity for one, and teaches you to be faster for two."

Naruto furrowed his brow, "Okay, but how did you get mom to forgive you?"

"Well, after she hit me, called me names and stormed off, I followed her a bit and "stumbled into her" at a restaurant. I bought her dinner and a lot of drinks, until she promised to forget it ever happened."

Jiraiya got down from his boulder, chuckling under his breath, "Listen to you, ya softie! Kushina would have kicked your ass if she caught you being so sentimental!"

While Minato and Jiraiya shared a laugh, Naruto stared at them confused, "Who the hell is Kushina?"

Silence, "…Please tell me someone at least told my son something of his family growing up."

"Err, no, actually. He was kept mostly in the dark." Jiraiya hesitated, "To be honest, he didn't even know you were his father until a little over a week ago."

"And he never so much as wondered why he looked like the guy carved into the mountain?"

He sighed, "I'm sorry to say, your kid is a moron."

Naruto was getting frustrated, "Well, you don't have to be such a dick about it! And you still haven't told me who this Kushina lady is!"

"Kushina was your mother, you idiot!" Minato snapped at him.

"What the fuck are you yelling at me for?" Naruto asked, "I never heard her name before!"

Minato drew a heavy sigh, "Fine, I'm sorry, whatever. Do you want to learn this new jutsu or not?"

"Er," he paused, "What about the rasengan? Didn't you say I needed to learn better control or something?"

Minato waved his hand, "Bah, it was a pride thing. I just wanted you to learn to do it right."

"Okay, so, how do I do this yellow flash jutsu?"

Minato smiled, "Baby steps kid. First off, do you know the summoning jutsu or the replacement jutsu?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, plopping himself down on the ground, ready to listen, "Jiraiya had me sign the frog contract when he started training me."

"That's good. You might be needing their help in the beginning." He started pacing back and forth a bit, "The best way I can describe this jutsu is that it's sort of like summoning yourself. You use the same seal for summoning, some slight modifications aside, but with a delayed reaction."

The vacant stare told Minato he had lost his son somewhere along the way.

"I warned you the kid was a retard" Jiriaya mused.

"You weren't kidding."

As irked at the taunting as he was, Naruto kept his mouth shut. Starting an argument now would only slow things down more. Being as he was on the brink of learning a super cool new jutsu, he chose instead to simply cross his arms and ignore the comments.

"…Anyway," his father said, getting back to where he left off, "This is, to simplify it as best I can, a version of the summoning jutsu. I assume you don't know the breakdown of how summoning jutsus work, do you?"

"Err, no, I don't," Naruto said, scratching his neck.

His father nodded slightly, "That's all right, it takes some advanced knowledge to understand all of its intricacies. For now, I'll just say that there are three main stages: creation, activation, and transport. In the first stage you use the appropriate hand signs, smear your palm with blood, and place your hand on the ground. From there, the seal automatically writes itself, right? Are you with me so far?"

Naruto nodded, doing the best he could to keep up.

"Stage two is when you pump chakra into the seal. Stage three is when the seal reacts by actually transporting the summoned creature to where it was summoned." He paused for a breath, "To break it down a little further, the blood you use acts like a key to a lock, only those who have signed the corresponding scroll can successfully complete the jutsu. Putting chakra into the seal is like turning the key to actually open the lock. The trick is opening the lock without actually being there to turn the key."

"Uh, so…" Naruto chimed in, "are you saying I have to create a summoning seal, and put chakra into it from a distance?"

"Sort of," his father corrected him, "its easy enough to create the seal and stop before adding the chakra, the trouble is that you can't transmit chakra over distances to activate the seal."

"So we have to stop it between stage two and three, instead, right?"

His father chuckled, "You catch on pretty quick for a retard! But no, not quite. There is no way, to my knowledge at least, that you can pause a summon between activation and transport. Instead, this is where the seal modification comes in. We write a summoning seal, but include in it a second seal, containing the chakra we need. All we have to do is release the seal holding back the stored chakra and the seal will activate."

"What about the blood?"

"The blood's no problem, we just mix in a few drops with the ink when we draw the seals."

A wide grin spread across Naruto's face, "This is going to be easy!"

"Heh, wrong again kid!" his father chuckled, "Preparing the seal is relatively easy, I'll admit, ignoring all the work I had to do to create the seals in the first place. Learning to activate them remotely, however, takes months of practice. Seeing as I've taken care of all the hard work creating it and perfecting it, we can probably cut the time down to a third of the time it took me."

Naruto hesitated a minute, not sure if he wanted to ask, "How long did it take you to learn it?"

"Just under a year and a half, before I worked out the details. It was another six months before I mastered its use. Sorry to disappoint you, but there's no way you'll be done the jutsu in time for your fight."

Jiraiya was chuckling under his breath, "You never did hear the story of how he got the First Hokage's necklace, did you?"

His ears perked up, "What's this now?"

Jiraiya smiled, "Back when I was first teaching this kid the rasengan, we were out trying to find your mother to bring her back to the village, being as the elders wanted her for the next hokage. I thought it would be a good idea to teach the kid the technique so he'd have something to do until we tracked her down. He mastered the water balloon stage the first day, and the rubber ball stage the second day."

"Hot damn kid!" his father was astounded.

"But it gets better! After that he hit a snag trying to form it with only chakra in the empty balloon. It was around that time that we finally tracked down your mother. She didn't want to come back, but the kid weaseled her into a bet that he could finish the rasengan in the next three days. If he could, she would come back to the village. To spice things up, she decided to throw the necklace into the wager."

"I'll be damned! That retard son of mine learned the rasengan in under a week?"

"Yup. Kid works incredibly well under pressure."

"Hmmm…that's an idea." Minato turned to his son, who was grinning like an idiot, "What the hell are you looking at? I don't have any rare necklaces to wager on you!"

Naruto laughed, "How about that famous cloak of yours?"

"Fuck no! I love that cloak!" He scratched his chin, "I'll try to think of a prize for you, though, if you can pull off a miracle."

Naruto was bouncing on his heels, giddy, "What is it!?"

"God dammit kid!" His father snapped at him, "I don't know yet, I just said I had to think of something didn't I?"

Naruto crossed his arms, "Well, you don't have to yell at me!"

"Sorry, I just get a bit cranky around bed time," his father said, motioning over his shoulder. The sun was just starting to peak over the eastern tree line. "I've been up all night kid, I'm getting tired."

"But what about this new jutsu!?"

He paused, thinking a moment, "Hey Jiraiya, If I leave you a copy of the seals, would you be able to get the kid started on some of the basics?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "No problem."

"Where the hell are you going?" Naruto asked, walking toward his father.

"Me? I've been up all night, I'm going to bed! Train hard kid."

And with that, he disappeared, two pieces of paper fluttering to the ground where he had stood, leaving Naruto and Jiraiya alone in the field.

* * *

Okay, so that's out of the way now. I need a bit of a break after writing this monster. To be honest, I was thinking of ending right after the end of the arguing, but I knew it never would have been enough for your insatiable lust for story. Thus, the beast was born. It'll probably be a good two weeks before I even think of writing a new chapter. I'm kind of burned out. If all goes well, I will probably start on the next one in the first week of July. (Just saying, so you aren't all sitting around wondering what I'm up to taking so long!) If you have a few extra moments, a review would be greatly appreciated!


	8. Seals & Deals

Hello, all! Sorry this took a few days longer than I thought. It's another monster chapter this time around! Another page and a half longer than the last one! I don't know if the government will let me count this as charity work on my taxes, but good lord, how does this keep happening? Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

(Also, sorry for the false alarm a few minutes ago, though I doubt it mattered at 2 AM EST, I forgot to add author's commentary, and, well, we can't have that, can we?)

* * *

A Brief History of Life

If you like to gamble

I tell you I'm you're man

You win some, loose some,

It's all the same to me

-Motorhead, The Ace of Spades

Chapter 8: Seals and Deals

"You aren't making any sense!"

"Kid, I'm dumbing this down as much as I can, but seals are a complicated thing!"

By Jiraiya's watch, he had spent roughly the past four hours trying to explain the basic inner workings of seals to Naruto. Of course, he knew it was a mistake, he had known all along. Naruto had always been straight forward in his techniques, and seals were far too complicated a matter for the kid.

"I'm going to try and explain this one last time. There are three main types of symbols in a seal: identifiers, modifiers, and activators. Activators are parts of seals that execute the final form of the jutsu. Modifiers shape the chakra into the form the actors need to function. Identifiers limit a jutsu to a specific target, location, or time. Are you with me so far?" Jiraiya groaned, rubbing his tired eyes. He didn't understand why his son had to go to bed and leave him behind with the retard.

"Could you slow down some!?" Naruto was throwing a fit, tossing his hands in the air, as he always did when faced with something he refused to understand.

Jiraiya chose to ignore his complaints. He had explained it upwards of ten times already, using different examples each time to try and illustrate the point. He was about ready to call it quits and do all of Naruto's seal work for him, just to shut him up and move on.

"All right, see this third symbol here," he said, pointing to the third of four complex looking characters, "this is the modifier part of the seal. In this case, it's a booster. This part takes the little bit of chakra that is put into the seal and amplifies it."

"But why does it have to amplify it? Can't I just put all of the chakra I need into the seal to begin with?"

Jiraiya sat back against a boulder, resting his head on his folded hands, "You can't do that."

"Why can't I!? It would make all this easier!"

"Could you cool down for just a minute?" Jiraiaya asked, obviously irritated at the kid's lack of patience, "In terms of seal writing, if you put in too much chakra at the wrong time, it would overload the seal, at which point it either fizzles or explodes. That's how explosive tags work: time delay seals activate and feed your chakra into amplifiers until it is too much for the seal to contain and it explodes. Granted, there is also a fire type modifier to change the explosion of chakra into a giant fireball."

"So," Naruto paused, hesitating, "If I put too much chakra into this seal, it would explode?"

Jiraiya closed his eyes, "No," he sighed, "This one would probably work just fine. The amplifiers in this seal are used to help you save some chakra. Even with your massive chakra stores, without amplifiers I would imagine it would sap all of your strength after a good fifteen to twenty uses."

"Oh," he slumped to the ground beside his teacher, "So what about the rest of this seal?"

Jiraiya sighed as he fished a piece of paper out of his pocket, "Well, the really tricky part is this part here," he indicated the first character on the crumpled paper, "This is actually a separate seal your father modified and integrated into the whole, more specifically, it's the chakra storage seal."

Naruto got a little closer to where he could see it better, "Why did he have to modify it? Can't you just put all the seals together that you need?"

"No, actually, that's one of the finer points of seal writing. You have to use just the right amount of ink and perhaps add or remove a brush stroke for it to perform exactly how you need it. If the balance between the symbols isn't right, the seal won't work."

The questions sprouting up in his head were endless, as soon as Jiraiya answered one question, five more cropped up. "So how do I know which bits I have to add or remove?"

"That," Jiraiya grunted as he stretched his tired body, "is what makes working with seals so impossibly difficult. And I'm afraid to say, we're going to have to modify this seal your father gave us so it will work for you."

"Er, why?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his neck, "Can't I just use it as it is?"

Jiraiya groaned, "Now this, I know I explained to you earlier. Remember the identifier part of a seal?" He pointed to the fourth character in the series, "This is the identifier for this seal, and right now, it identifies your father as the target of the seal. I know it doesn't look like it to you, but this last symbol is your father's name, written in a unique "seal language" if you will."

"So all we have to do is replace his name with mine, right?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Jiraiya crossed his arms over his chest, "Luckily for us," he fished a second piece of paper out of his coat, "your father already deciphered what your identifier seal would look like, otherwise it would have taken me a minimum of ten days to get it just right."

Naruto paused, deep in thought, "But, wouldn't that mean he started planning this out before we got here?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "Well, your father always was a little better deciphering new seals than I was. Still, I'd say he started working on this the day we left Konoha, at the latest."

Silence, as the implications of it all simmered. Jiraiya smiled, "Learn a little more about your dad every day, don't we? He always was on top of things."

Naruto chuckled, "Tricky bastard, isn't he?"

"Heh, yeah, but let's not get distracted eh? On to the next step of your training!"

Naruto frowned, "But what about learning how seals work? Don't I need to know about all of that stuff you were talking about earlier?"

"Kid, seals aren't really your thing. I can tell, they never will be. We'll just skip all the details for now, and I'll just create one seal for you to copy. Do you still have that batch of blood ink we made up earlier?"

"Er, yeah," he mumbled, fishing a small bottle out of his pocket.

Jiraiya snatched it out of his hand and immediately went to work. He spent several minutes glancing back and forth between the two pieces of paper he had been given, making the occasional note on the side of one of the two pages. Occasionally, he would scratch out one of the notes he had written, and write something new next to it. None of it made any sense to Naruto, no matter how carefully he studied it or from what angle, none of what Jiraiya had written looked like anything Naruto could read, as it was probably that "seal language" that had been mentioned earlier.

After several minutes of studying and making notes in the margins, Jiraiya began to meticulously copy parts of the new seal onto a fresh piece of paper. Naruto recognized most of it from the original seal, but some of the bits and pieces of the characters seemed to have come from the notes on the sides of the pages. Finally, he held the sheet at an arms length, studying it.

"Okay," he said, after several agonizing minutes of silence, "I think it's time to test this out." He handed the page to Naruto, a freshly painted seal slathered down the middle of it, "Try putting some chakra into this, like you were activating any other seal.

Naruto grasped the paper by the edges, concentrating hard as he stared deep into the page. Carefully, he let his chakra seep into the paper. He closed his eyes and let it build up a little at a time, waiting for something to happen, until he felt that familiar tingling, hollow feeling creep up from the pit of his stomach.

"You're getting it! Just a little more!"

Naruto opened his eyes part way to notice that he had gone semi-transparent. Startled, he broke his concentration and cut the flow of chakra to the paper.

"Was I kinda…see through just now?"

"Yeah!" Jiraiya chuckled, "A little more and you would have had it! Don't hold back so much this time, The seal will activate before you can put too much chakra into it."

He nodded to Jiraiya, before returning his attention to the seal in front of him. He closed his eyes once again, and braced himself for the worst.

Before he could let himself think about it any more, he flooded the paper with chakra, activating the seal. He felt the emptiness hit him like a wave as the earth seemed to dissolve beneath his feet. For a brief moment he was weightless, there was no ground beneath him, but he was not falling. He was nowhere, but he was everywhere. If he had had the courage to open his eyes, he imagined he would have seen nothing but unending blackness stretching in all directions. The time it took for him to comprehend all of these feelings felt like it stretched on for an eternity, but lasted no more than a few seconds.

A thought occurred to Naruto, he had no idea how to control the seal, to make it do as he wished, or how to make it take him where he wanted to go. He knew with his luck he would end up dropping from the sky and landing head first on a rock.

He tried to suppress the idea, but for a brief moment, he pictured it in his mind, and as quickly as the effects had hit him when he had activated the seal, they dissipated. He could feel the breeze on his face again. He snapped his eyes open just in time to see a particularly hard looking boulder rushing up at him before he made contact, face first and cleaving a rather large crack in the rock face.

"Yo, Naruto! Are you okay!?" Jiraiya shouted, rushing over to him.

"Mother fucker!!" he shouted, cradling his forehead in his hands. Blood was seeping down from a nasty gash running the length of his scalp, "You son of a bitch, why didn't you warn me that could happen!?" he shouted, glancing toward Jiraiya.

"Hey, hey, easy now," he held his hands up, "I've never used the jutsu either, I didn't know what would happen!"

Naruto grunted at the pain, "Ugh. So, what happened?"

"Well, after you activated the seal, you just kind of disappeared. Well, faded away is more like it. When you didn't show up a second later, I started looking around for you, but before I could go too far, you reappeared about three feet off the ground and crashed head first in to that rock."

He wiped away some of the blood seeping from his forehead, "So how long was I gone for?"

Jiriaya paused, thinking, "Overall… I'd say no more than six or seven seconds."

"Heh, that's interesting. I could have sworn it was longer." He pulled himself up with the aid of a nearby tree branch and took a few shaky steps toward Jiraiya, "So, what's the next step in my training?"

"Next would be getting that gash of yours looked at by a medical nin in the village. After that, we'll have to ask your dad. He said for us to find him if we finished this stage early."

"The gash is nothing, shouldn't I be practicing with the seals some more or something?" He asked, all too eagerly.

"No, your health comes first."

"But I…"

"No. A short break won't cause you too much trouble, now come on, I'll treat you to ramen."

He knew the old man was right, of course. It was only his stubbornness that had kept him from doing so in the past, but if he really did need to find his father, then he might as well get some free ramen out of it.

He sighed, "Fine, since I don't exactly have much choice…" He took another dizzy two steps forward before stumbling over a rock and nose-diving into a patch of tall grass.

Jiraiya chuckled, the kid was finally starting to see reason, now if only he could see straight. "C'mere!" he offered a hand and helped pull Naruto to his feet.

* * *

It had taken him another minute or two to fully regain his senses after Jiraiya had helped him up, but his head was clear now as they sped through the trees. Looking to the present, it felt like an eternity as they raced back toward town. He was of course used to long jogs between locations from all of his missions, but he had frankly grown fond of the instant transport his father had used with him. It only served as more incentive to learn the jutsu.

He grinned, soon he would be able to warp from anywhere in the village to his favorite stool at Ichiraku Ramen.

The trees were thinning out up ahead, as they approached the village boundaries.

* * *

"So was dad always like this?"

Naruto and Jiraiya, fresh from the doctor's office, sat next to each other at the same ramen stand as he and Ayaka had the day prior. The cool breeze tussled the lanterns and other decorations that hung around them as people went about their business up and down the street behind them.

"Like what?" Jiraiya asked, looking up from his noodles.

"Like a lazier version of you."

He chuckled, "Not so much, no. I do remember he had a bit of a perverted side, but he was never quite up to my standards. Sure he'd peep every now and then, hit on some of the girls he went on missions with, and for all I know he may have gone a bit beyond that, but for the most part, he would just pick one girl to focus his attentions on. He was really just kind of a playful guy back then. Once he met your mother though, something just clicked,"

"What do you mean" Naruto was ignoring his noodles, fascinated.

Jiraiya took a big bite before continuing, "Well," he paused to swallow, "He just calmed down. He still had his cheerful playfulness about him, but he also seemed to take everything more seriously. He stopped his gawking and grab-assing – his girlfriend aside, mind you – and became the man that everyone remembers as the fourth hokage."

"So, why is he like he is now?"

He hesitated, thinking it over before he spoke, "Your mother's death hit him hard. From what I can guess, a lot of what he is now is a result of her passing. He's acting out more than I remember, and to be completely honest, the way he's been acting lately is more like what I would have expected from Kushina than from him. He probably feels as though by acting like her, it can feel more like she's still around."

He was transfixed, "And what about his laziness?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "Don't confuse grief for laziness kid. Seeing you probably brought up all kinds of painful memories for him. Even a former hokage needs time alone to deal with his ghosts."

Naruto slumped over his bowl, "So it's my fault he's feeling so bad lately."

Jiraiya shrugged, "That's one way of putting it, but if I know him as well as I think I do, then I can guarantee you that whatever grief you've dug up in him lately is far eclipsed by the pride he feels for his son." He reached over and ruffled the kid's hair as he reached for his wallet, "He'll be over it soon I guess, and you'll get to know the real Minato before long."

"Heh, I hope so. But if dad was like that, then what was mom like?" he asked, as Jiraiya counted out money to pay for their meal.

"Well," Jiraiya groaned and the stool squeaked as he stood up, "She was like you, to be honest."

Naruto caught up to Jiraiya as they started down the street, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Put it this way, if you're Konoha's number one loudest ninja, then she would pull a _very _close second. She was loud, outspoken, brash, witty, one of the guys, and after a few drinks, she would have made even me blush. If you get your father alone some time, ask him to tell you the story of when she hid a bunshin under the table to surprise him. None of us had seen the man so flustered before."

"Er," Naruto hesitated, not sure if he wanted to know the answer to the next question, "What do you mean, what was wrong?"

Jiraiya laughed, "What was wrong? The poor man was getting a blowjob while giving a speech to the entire village! It was at his inauguration as hokage, so naturally everyone was there. Now, I thought something was off when I saw Kushina's mischievous, drunken grin, but I just couldn't place why."

"I shouldn't have asked," he mumbled, kicking a small rock out of his path as he walked.

Jiraiya chuckled, "Speaking of flirtatious redheads, isn't that your friend up ahead?" He pointed a few yards off into the distance.

Naruto stopped and looked up. It was her all right. He hadn't noticed it before, but her outfit was stunning and accented all the right curves. The fabric was somewhere between crimson and blood red. Her pants legs were baggy, went down to about mid-calf, and were split down the sides most of the way down. Her top, sleeveless, had deep v-cuts in the front and the back that showed off even more flesh, including the tops of those perfect D-cups. The shirt itself stopped an inch or two above her waist line showing off a bit of stomach.

"Hey! Naruto! You still here?" Jiraiya smacked him in the back of the head, "I know she's hot, but try to stay focused, okay?"

Naruto snapped back to reality, "Huh? Oh, right, do you think I should go say hello?"

"Phhsssh," He scoffed, "You said hello yesterday. Courtesies are over and done with. Today you start pushing the boundaries to see just how much she likes you"

"Er, what do you suggest?"

As soon as he asked, he knew he would live to regret it. Jiraiya was grinning that sinister grin that always meant he was planning something devious.

"Never mind, I think I'll come up with my own plan." Naruto said glancing sidelong at Jiraiya.

Jiraiya watched from a few feet away as Naruto slipped into the alley a few paces behind Ayaka. A few moments later, he emerged and began stalking toward his target. She was looking down, studying a list of some kind. His timing would be perfect.

Quietly, one step at a time, Naruto crept towards her. All his preparations were ready, nothing could go wrong. She was ten paces away. Five paces. Two.

He sprung.

"Peek-A-Boo!" he shouted as he leapt, reaching around, firmly cupping each of her breasts.

She began to chuckle, something was wrong.

Before he could figure out what it was, the girl in front of him had reverted to a pillar of water and collapsed into a puddle. No sooner had the water clone splashed to the ground than the earth gave way beneath Naruto's feet, dropping him into a pit some eight feet deep.

Looking up, he could see a cloudless sky above him, and peeking over the edge of the pit…

"Did you think I'd let you sneak up on me like that, Ero-kun?" Ayaka teased him, playfully sticking out her tongue.

"Actually, I hoped you would," he replied with a coy smile, "Wait, what did you call me?"

"You should have known better, Ero-kun!" she giggled, "After all, it's not setting a good reputation for you leaf genin!"

"You're calling _me_ a pervert!?"

"Aren't you supposed to be training for your big mystery jutsu _Ero-kun_?" She emphasized the last part to taunt him, "Or does your new technique involve getting caught in a hole?"

"Heh, I'd answer that, but I don't want to ruin the surprise before our fight." He leaned casually up against the wall of the pit.

"It's going to be hard to fight me when you're trapped in a pit!" she called down to him.

Naruto wasn't going to let her get away with taunting him so easily, "Well I guess I better do something about that then, eh?"

There was a puff of smoke and a rattling sound. As the air cleared, Ayaka realized he had replaced himself with a trashcan from one of the nearby alleys. A brief glance to the left confirmed her suspicions, as there he was, crouched behind a pile of boxes, grinning like an idiot and waving at her.

She smiled, "What, that cheap parlor trick?" There was another wisp of smoke as she replaced herself with the pile of boxes Naruto had been hiding behind, bringing her face to face with her assailant in the alleyway. She chuckled, "So much for your great escape, eh?"

Naruto knew he was beat, "So when did you figure all of this out?"

"While you were gawking at me, of course. This outfit has given me the upper hand in more than a few battles." She said with a coy smile, "Too bad for you, you can't do that, ne?"

'_Joke's on her!'_ Naruto thought to himself, "Harem-no-jutsu!" A few wisps of smoke danced around Naruto's naked female form. "You see," he said in a sexy, wistful voice, "You're not the only one who can…"

WHAM! She hit him so hard in the eye it knocked him out of the jutsu and onto his back.

"You fucking pervert!"

Out in the street, Jiraiya had been watching it all go down. He smiled to himself, _'And here I thought he had this in the bag…'_

Naruto slowly staggered to his feet, a dark bruise forming around his right eye, "Yeah, I haven't met a girl yet who could appreciate that jutsu."

She crossed her arms angrily, "I draw the line at groping, thank you very much! Err, wait…"

Naruto chuckled, "So what are you doing out around here?"

"Well, this is my home village, after all."

"Just an evening stroll?"

She shook here head, "Nah, grocery shopping. There's a nice farmer's market not far from my apartment that I like to go to."

"So you live around here then?" he said with a coy smile.

She shook her head, "Oh no, I don't give private tours of my apartment to perverts I barely know!"

"What about perverts you know a little better? We could always go on another date."

She shook her finger at him, "Now don't get ahead of yourself, that wasn't a date, you were just apologizing by buying me a meal!"

Naruto started making his way out of the alleyway, "Well then we'll have to go on one, won't we? Why don't we go grocery shopping together, and you can show me the town while you're at"

"Hey now," she started chasing after him, "Who said I wanted to hang around you?"

He smiled, "I just figured with the way you keep following me around, that you wanted to be friends"

Something about the way she was scowling at him made him think she didn't trust him, "All right, _Ero-kun_" she said, starting down the street, "I'll give you a tour of the city, but just as a friend." She smiled briefly as she turned to lead him down the street

* * *

She had shown him what little there was to see in her little town, the village offices, the movie theater, some of the better restaurants. Honestly, this place was just an out of the way crossroads since the fire country had absorbed the whirlpool nation during the war. They had spent the last twenty minutes just wandering about between the stands in the market. Ayaka kept thinking about how annoying it was to have Naruto following her around everywhere asking endless questions, but each time she brushed it off deciding it was better having the company of a friend than it was to be doing her chores alone.

"So how long are you planning on staying around here?" she asked, "You probably have an objective of some kind if one of your missions brought you here."

"Heh," he gave a nervous laugh, "to be completely honest, I'm not exactly on a mission at the moment, it's just that when I heard my dad was alive and living as a hermit around here, I rushed out here with my grandfather to find him."

"And I take it he's the one that's teaching you this new jutsu?" she asked, glancing over at him as she examined lettuce at one of the stands.

"Yeah, actually. And I've been meaning to ask you something about that. Do you want to wager anything on our fight?"

She turned to give him her full attention, "You mean the total humiliation of defeat won't be punishment enough for you?" she chuckled, poking him with a head of lettuce.

"Well, unless you could suggest a better way for me to get you naked." He mused, only half serious.

She gave him a dirty look, "Never one for subtlety are you?"

"Er, shit, sorry." He was hosed and he knew it. He should have known better than to…

"All right, but with one condition."

Instinct told him something was amiss. He had seen Jiraiya get pulled into traps like this far too many times than to know he was going to get off scott free. "…What's your condition?" He asked hesitantly.

The look on her face could be described as nothing less than mischievous, perhaps even sadistic, "If you win, I get topless for you. If I win, you streak down main road through town."

He was surprised, to say the least, "Streak, as in, naked?"

"Nah," she teased, "You can keep your forehead protector on."

"Uh, mind if I ask why you are agreeing to this so readily?" he asked as he followed her to the next vendor.

She tossed the lettuce over her shoulder for Naruto to catch, "I told you, there's no way I'll loose. I have a perfect mission record since I became a ninja, and I've never lost a fight." She smiled back at him over her shoulder

"Now that doesn't sound like a fair bet to me." A new voice behind Naruto piqued up.

Ayaka and Naruto turned to see a tall blond man in a shaggy cloak staring down at them.

"I don't remember asking your opinion, old man," she snapped back.

Minato shrugged, "Hey I'm just saying, if you're going to make bets with my son, I don't want him getting the raw end of the deal. If he has to get completely naked, you should have to too. And frankly," he said, undressing her with his eyes, "I don't blame him one bit for trying."

She scoffed at the old man, "Come from a long line of perverts, do you Ero-kun?"

"I prefer the term 'sex-enthusiast'" his father cut in, "If you don't mind, that is."

"Dirty old pervert…" she muttered, starting to walk away from him.

Father and son started to jog after Ayaka, "I take my hygiene very seriously, thank you very much!" Minato shot back at her.

Ayaka stopped and spun around to face Naruto, "Look, you wanted the wager didn't you? Do you want to do this or no?"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck, "To be honest, I was just kind of joking at the time, but if you're offering…yeah, why not?" he stuck his hand out to shake.

"Put your damn hand down," his father said, "Don't agree to anything until you have get a square deal." He waved his hand toward Ayaka, "Would you agree to identical terms as my son here?"

"Of course not you fucking pervert!" she replied, turning her back and starting to walk away.

He looked over to Naruto, "I guess your friend doesn't have confidence in her abilities after all."

She whipped around, "I told you, I can't be beaten!"

"If you can't be beaten then why are you too afraid to agree to the terms?" he shot back with a hint of sarcasm.

"Because unlike the two of you, I have modesty and a sense of shame!"

"Hey," Naruto held up his hands, "Don't lump me in with that guy, I was just…"

"What's it matter?" his father cut him off, "When you win it won't matter what you agreed to, right, and when are you going to get another chance like this to humiliate my son?" he asked with a cocky grin.

She paused, considering it. For why, she still wasn't sure, but none the less she was considering it. "Fine," she gave in, "but I won't streak, it'll be in a place of my choosing, and if I even suspect foul play," she paused, glaring daggers at Minato, "then the deal is off. Agreed?" She put out her hand to shake.

Naruto was shocked, dumbfounded almost at how his poor excuse for a joke had managed to play out so seriously. "Er, yeah," he grabbed her hand and gave a light shake.

"Excellent!" Minato threw his hands in the air, "Now if you don't mind excusing us, we have to get back to training." Without a further word, he put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and they disappeared without a trace.

Ayaka was left alone in the dusty street, grappling with what she had just agreed to, and wondering just how the old man had been able to call her bluff. She'd live to regret this day, she was sure of it.

* * *

Okay, so that was actually shorter than I had originally planed the chapter to be. All told, it would have been at least another four or five pages beyond this, and I certainly can't have all of you getting bored halfway through the chapter can I?

On that note, ever read one of those stories with an author created character, then the author posts a sketch he/she did in his/her free time which shatters any and all image you may have formed of said character in your mind? Yeah, me too. Seriously, this is not even close to how I pictured her. Oh well. It should be fun anyway.

For those of you who are interested, please ignore the horrible drawing and humor yourselves. (No seriously, don't feel bad to laugh at it. I do.) Like I said, this is nothing like how I pictured her (softer features, neater hair, it's so off, I don't even know why I'm bothering to post it...)

img521.imageshack.us/img521/7641/ayakayy1.jpg

I think I'll stick with writing for the time being. :-\

Reviews, as always, are very much appreciated if you have a minute to spare! Thank you all, and goodnight!

* * *


	9. Practice

Sup, homies? Sorry this chapter has been so long in coming. I thought it was going to be out a lot sooner but I just couldn't get the beginning to flow for some reason. Eventually the creative juices started flowing again, and now all is well.

* * *

A Brief History of Life

The hours approaching, to give it your best  
You've got to reach your prime.  
That's when you need to put yourself to the test  
And show us a passage of time  
Were going to need a montage

-Trey Parker, Montage

Chapter 9: Practice

Day 2 – 3:08 pm

It was starting to get a little better, at least. With any luck, Naruto figured he might be able to get used to that feeling sometime before he died. Back in the field again, he was just staring off into the distance replaying the events of the last few minutes in his head.

"Hey, Naruto! Are you paying attention?"

"Eh?" Naruto turned to his father, "Er, sorry." He scratched the back of his neck, "How were you able to do that, anyway?"

"What, call her bluff or convince her to get naked for you?"

"Uh," he paused, "Both of them, I guess."

"That," he smiled, "is a lesson for another day. For now, we need to get back to your training." Minato walked over to a short tree and snagged a piece of paper that had been caught in one of the branches. Turning it over, he studied it for a moment and then chuckled, "And here I was wondering how a dumb ass like you could have learned seals so quickly. Heh, I should have known better."

"What is it?" Naruto asked, moving a little closer to get a better look.

"It's Jiraiya's handwriting." He smiled at his son, "Gave up did we?"

"Well…I wasn't really getting any of it, so Ero-Senin kind of, did it for me."

Minato shook his head as he handed the paper to Naruto, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jiraiya was never much of a hands on teacher with you, was he?"

"Er, no, not really." Naruto said, taking the paper, "When he was teaching me the rasengan, he just kind of told me the next step and left me to figure out the rest for myself."

"Yeah, that's his style all right. He's never been very good at just sitting down and explaining things."

"So, does that mean you're going to try and teach me seals too?" Naruto groaned in frustration as he let himself down on a rock.

His father appeared to think it over for a moment, before slumping down to the ground against the trunk of a small tree. "Honestly, if you were having that much trouble with Jiraiya, it's probably just not worth it. You only really need to know this stuff if you're trying to come up with new seals. And most seal work is just memorization of old sequences anyway."

"I've never been very good at memorizing…" Naruto cut in with a nervous laugh.

His father smiled, "All the more reason to skip it then. You will need to memorize this one though." He said, indicating the paper in Naruto's hand, "You can practice by making a few copies for us to practice with."

"How many do we need?"

Minato chuckled, "How long will it take you to make a thousand?"

Naruto grinned.

* * *

Day 2 – 3:19 pm

A large puff of smoke covering the field, like an early morning fog as the clones released.

"I thought you were joking when you said you could make a thousand clones!" Minato was reeling, as he fumbled himself down onto a rock, "I mean, I knew the Kyuubi was going to give you more chakra but…fuck!"

Naruto only laughed as he turned to collect the stack of seals the clones had piled up. Nothing brought him greater joy than leaving his father speechless.

"So," he asked with a smirk, "What's next?"

His father walked over and grabbed the sheet on top of the stack, glancing over it briefly, "You definitely need more practice writing the seal, but these will do for now," he scratched his chin, "have you tried activating one of the seals yet?"

"Er," Naruto started rubbing the bruise on his forehead, "Yeah, I tried it. I didn't exactly do well."

"That's why you should have waited for me to show you, baka!" He shouted, bringing his fist down on his son's wound, "For future reference, after you activate the seal, you have to visualize yourself in whatever position you want to appear in, and as long as you imagine some part of yourself within about a two foot radius of the seal, everything will work as it should."

"Okay, but what happens if I don't?"

"I'll explain that later, but for now we have more important things to practice. Do you remember how much chakra you put in to the seal last time before it activated?"

"I think so," he scratched the back of his head, "It's kind of hard to gauge exactly how much I'm using."

His father thought for a minute, "Hmm, well if you can feel that empty feeling, that should be a good indicator for you. At that point you'll have filled up the chakra retention seal, and excess chakra is spilling into the seal itself."

"But," he hesitated, "If I put in too much chakra, wouldn't that set off the seal?"

"Don't you remember earlier, Naruto?" Asked a new voice off to the left. Naruto and Minato glanced over to see Jiraiya emerging from the tree line. He lifted one hand into the air, "Yo!"

"Didn't I tell you to take the night off and sleep?"

Jiraiya shrugged, "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd join you."

Minato smiled, "Well then, I guess I'm glad to have you."

Jiraiya shuffled over to join the other two, "As I was saying, if you'll remember from earlier Naruto, the first time you tried the seal, you were hesitating as you were putting chakra into the seal when it slowly started to activate."

Realization dawned over Naruto. "So, I just need to feed chakra into the page until I start disappearing?"

Minato nodded, "It's not the most efficient way, but being the chakra monster that you are it shouldn't be a problem. And that brings us to the next step of the training, if you wouldn't mind charging one of the seals…"

Naruto nodded as he took the top sheet off the stack and set the rest aside. He grasped the edges of the paper loosely as he gazed deep into the page. Slowly, he started to leak chakra into the seals.

'_A little more… a little more… there!'_ he cut off the flow of chakra just as he felt himself starting to succumb to the seal. He smiled, "I think I got it!"

"Great, now we can actually get on with this. Close your eyes. I'll warp with this paper, and it will be your job to sense where I am based on the chakra you have sealed in this page."

"Er, so, how will I 'sense' this chakra?" he cut in.

Minato paused to think about it for a minute, "…It's hard to describe really. It's like a sixth sense almost. You won't feel anything per-say, it's more like you can see it in your mind's eye, and if you really are locked on to it, it'll be like you have a gut feeling that you're right."

Naruto gave an exasperated sigh.

Minato frowned, "This is the toughest part of the training, actually, so don't expect to get it right away. We'll start easy though. I'll only go in front or behind you for now."

Naruto nodded as he closed his eyes and bowed his head, waiting to begin. Minato nodded to Jiraiya as he disappeared, and then quickly reappeared behind Naruto.

"Okay, Naruto, he's in position. Where is he?"

He furrowed his brow, he really had no idea where. He couldn't "feel" anything.

"Don't think," Jiraiya mumbled, "just picture the two possibilities, and then go with your gut."

Naruto did his best to clear his mind. He pushed his frustration aside and focused his mind on the sensation of the brisk night air playing with his long golden hair. _'Focus…focus…'_ Was it in front of him? Was it behind him? There was no way to be certain of either. _'I have a fifty-fifty shot at guessing right. Dad said go with my gut, so that's what I'll do…'_

"…Is it behind me?"

Minato smiled, this wasn't going to take as long as he thought.

* * *

Day 3 – 1:27 am

"It's time we add two more directions. Now you will have to tell me front, back, left or right"

Naruto still didn't know how he was doing it. It just felt like he was guessing. He had to be doing something right though, because he had gotten all of them right for the past half hour. When he weighed the options in his head, one just "felt" like it was the right answer, and for most of his attempts, he had been right.

But with 50/50 odds, most of it had to be luck, right?

* * *

Day 3 – 8:53 am

"You're definitely getting the hang of it." Minato said, patting Naruto on the shoulder, "It's time we added another step!"

"But," Naruto paused, "It still feels like I'm just guessing!"

"Are you sure?" Minato asked, slightly confused, "By now you should be attune enough to your chakra frequency that you feel a slight pull toward it."

Jiraiya was deep in thought, his eyes closed as he leaned back against a tree trunk, "Naruto was never very good with his chakra control, could that be having some effect on it?"

"It's possible." Minato thought out loud, "But what if…"

Naruto threw his hands up to interrupt, "Wait a minute, what the hell are you talking about? What is a chakra frequency?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I never really explained… Chakra frequency is a term I came up with to explain how someone can sense their own chakra at a distance. Because almost every jutsu causes a person to expel chakra immediately, they hardly ever notice this slight…resonance, I guess is the best word. If you were to close your eyes and focus very hard on a source of your own chakra, you should be able to sense it in front of you."

"But," Naruto cut him off, "How am I supposed to sense chakra?"

Minato shrugged his shoulders, "How do you sense heat? How do you sense sound? You have built in sensory organs, your skin and your ears for instance that let you sense these things. If you can learn how to use it properly, your chakra system can sense your own chakra. In a sense, this is partially how the Byakugan and the Sharingan work, they use the chakra system of the user to detect chakra in others. They just so happen to have manifested in a visual representation."

"So…" Naruto began, pondering over all of it, "I should be able to see my own chakra if I look hard enough at it, right?"

"No," Minato replied, "but if you concentrate enough, you should feel a slight pull toward it."

Naruto plopped himself on the ground, mumbling, "I can't feel a damn thing, how the hell am I supposed to feel…"

Jiraiya cut him off, "Naruto, if you're going to mumble about something, at least mumble loud enough that we can hear you!"

"I said," Naruto shouted at him, "I can't feel a…!" he trailed off, "Mumble louder! That's it!"

"Er," Minato hesitated, "What are you…?"

Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, "If someone can't hear you, you speak louder! If you can't see something, you turn on more lights! All I need is more chakra!"

Minato was stunned, Jiraiya equally so. The kid had a good idea.

"Er, uh, well, yeah, it could work. It would be a waste of chakra, but if I add another container seal in principal it could work."

Jiraiya shook his head, "There's definitely good reason your son earned the nickname Konoha's number one most surprising ninja."

Naruto meanwhile was still grinning like an idiot

"All right," Minto sighed, "Let's give it a try. Where'd that stack of papers get to?" He walked over to a nearby rock and the stack of papers sitting on top of it. He grabbed one off the top and began studying it for a moment. After a pause, he pulled a small bottle of ink out of his coat and began writing.

"Don't you need that blood ink I made?" Naruto asked, curiously peeking over the man's shoulder as he worked.

"Not really. Blood just needs to be present in the seal, so it should still work just fine. Here, try this." He handed Naruto the modified paper.

Naruto took it from his hands and after staring at it for a moment, filled the seals with chakra. "It...it feels like it's a part of me, almost."

Minato smiled, "Time to get on with the training, then."

* * *

Day 4 – 10:33 pm

With the new seal upgrades, guessing where the seal was had become like child's play. In fact, it didn't even feel like he was guessing anymore. He could just feel it, if that was really the best way to describe it.

The real challenge was when his father had thrown in distances with the new directions. He actually hadn't been using much chakra with his training so far, but having been awake for three straight days was getting to him in a big way. Still, he pushed himself onward to train as much as he could. As his father had told him at one point: "You can sleep after you've tied that red head up and made her call you daddy."

Naruto wasn't quite sure what his father meant by that, and he was pretty sure he could blame that on his own sleep deprivation, but it didn't matter, it was in the past. Now he had to continue with his training.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, "…There's three seals. The first is at 1 o'clock, thirty yards away. The second is at 2 o'clock, forty five yards away. The third one is at…I think, 7 o'clock…maybe…sixty yards away?"

Minato warped in behind him, "You're close enough on the first two, the third one was seventy two yards away."

* * *

Day 5 – 11:16 am

"Am I seriously going to need to extend my range past a mile for this fight?"

Minato paused for a minute to think it over, "Not really, but it does make your life easier later on. If you can get up to my level, you'll be able to transfer between villages in a blink."

"Fine, but I'm going to need to sleep at least a little bit before my fight." Naruto mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Of course, but I figured while we have the chance we should expand your range while we still have the chance…"

"Fuck that! I need to finish up and get some sleep!" he snapped, irritated from lack of sleep.

His father scoffed, "I can tell. But you'll be happy to know that since I've been training you under such extreme conditions, given ideal circumstances you'd have no trouble activating a seal several times your current range."

"Ideal circumstances?" Naruto mumbled, slurring his words a little.

"A good night's sleep alone will increase your range six-fold. In addition to that, when you place your own seals you have the advantage of being able to envision exactly where you left it, about doubling your blind range."

"Uh-huh." He couldn't even focus anymore, he needed sleep, and by God he was going to get it.

"Naruto?" Minato asked, "Are you okay?"

He didn't bother to reply, choosing instead to simply pass out and worry about it later. Minato watched as his son hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

'_Well, I guess he _does_ deserve a short nap.'_

* * *

Day 5 – 12:31 pm

"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!" A small pillar of water rose up from the ground, taking the vague form of a dragon, roaring as Minato sent it crashing down on his son.

Naruto sat bolt upright coughing and sputtering, "What the fuck is your problem!?"

"Oh, you're awake!" Minato smiled innocently, waving his arms as though he were brushing the subject aside, "Now that you're up and moving, we can get on with the next step of the training!"

"Fuck you! Did you really need to use a goddamn water dragon jutsu on me?"

"Quit bitching, it was only a small one!"

Groggily, Naruto got to his feet, "Fine, whatever, what's the next step?"

His father paused, adding dramatic tension, "Activation!"

Naruto smiled, _'At least the bastard woke me up for something fun.'_

"Remember that feeling you get when you lock on to a seal?"

"…Yeah," Naruto replied groggily, still not fully awake, "What about it?"

"Once you have a lock on that seal, just imagine that energy you feel exploding outward. The rest you'll figure out with practice."

Naruto closed his eyes and locked on to the nearest seal, "I've got that seal on the far side of the field, should I try for that one?"

* * *

Day 6 – 1:08 am

Activating seals was proving harder than he thought. It took a lot more than just simply imagining the seal activating. It felt more like he had to force it apart with his own chakra somewhere deep inside before the seal would go off. Progress was slow, but he had whittled his time down to just over two and a half seconds. Still not good enough, and he was starting to run low on chakra.

"I've been meaning to ask you something," Naruto requested, his eyes still closed as he focused in on a seal, "Every time I use a seal, I have to recharge it, but since we started training in this field, I haven't once seen you use, or for that matter, recharge a seal. Is that the next step with this technique?"

Minato shook his head, "With this seal, planning is everything."

Naruto opened his eyes and turned to face his father, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Simple," he grinned, "I used an earth type jutsu to bury some five thousand seals in a grid pattern all over this field."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "That's it? You just hid a shit load of them underground?"

Minato tapped his temple with his finger, "Think, and plan ahead!" he said with a smile, "On that note, with your double chakra seals, you should be able to reuse it once, if you can lock on to the weaker signal. Enough about that though, back to your training. You're still taking too long to activate the seal!"

* * *

Day 6 – 2:32 pm

It had taken work beyond anything he had done before, but somehow he had done it.

"0.358 seconds! That's good enough!"

Naruto slumped down, almost falling into a sitting position, relief washing over his face. "Finally, I'm done!"

Minato chuckled, "Not quite, you have one last test." He held up three kunai, "You start at that end of the field," he pointed off into the distance, "and using only these kunai and your seals, you have to get to the other end of the field."

"…What?"

He stuck the three kunai in the ground at his son's feet, "If you can do this, you can go to sleep until your fight tomorrow."

Naruto snatched up the three kunai and activated one of the seals he had left at the far end of the field, warping there instantly.

Appearing on top of a rock, Naruto hopped down and climbed to one of the upper branches. Minato watched the center of the field as Naruto tossed the first kunai into the air, warping to it's location as it flew, before tossing the next one.

'_Stupid kid, he isn't going to make it half way if he doesn't grab the flying kunai and use it again!,_

Naruto appeared near the second flying kunai, and tossed the third one. Following the third kunai with his eyes, Minato watched, waiting for his son to appear overhead and fall to the ground. When he didn't appear, he began to wonder, scanning quickly over the area looking for where he may have landed.

"Yo!"

He heard a voice calling to him from the distance, quickly he warped to the far edge of the woods. Upon his arrival, he glanced up and saw his son waving to him from a tree branch. "How…how did you?"

Naruto chuckled, "Like you said, with this seal, planning is everything."

Exhausted, he fell forward off the branch into his fathers waiting arms. _'Smart ass.'_ He thought to himself, before disappearing with his son in to the night.

* * *

I think you all know what's coming next. Oh yeah, it's the fight. Sorry to bore you all with a solid block of training this time around. And to add to the disapointment, I'm all out of doodles for all y'all. (Big let down, right?) If you got the time, reviews are allways appreciated!

UPDATE: A bit late to be mentioning this as many of you have already read the chapter, but oh well, still thought I'd let you know. There may not be doodles for this chapter, but as of two minutes ago, I have finished some more "bonus content" that I will post with the next chapter. What is it? Stick Art Story Boards! That's right folks, I have already planned out and sketched a very rough "comic strip" if you will of what is going to happen in the fight. It'll make writing the next chapter a hell of a lot easier (I usually do my fights on the fly), and it will give you, the fans, something more to enjoy. Stick figure Naruto fighting stick figure Ayaka. For a brief, one cell preview, go here:

img227.imageshack.us/img227/6371/gtfonwithitcp9.jpg


	10. Judgment Day

Hey all! I just wanted to appologise for getting this out so late. It's been hectic lately and I haven't had much time to work on this. I had to pack for college, move in to college, start studying for college, I got a job on campus, and I've just been all around busy. I really don't like making all of you wait this long between installments, but I have to put college work first. (Don't worry, I'm not giving up on the story!) Chapters may come a little slower for a while until I can get into a better rythem here at college. Until then, ladies and gentlemen, the event you've been waiting for:

* * *

A Brief History of Life

See me ride out of that sunset

On your color TV screen

Out for all that I can get

If you know what I mean

Women to the left of me

And women to the right

Ain't got no gun

Ain't got no knife

Don't you start no fight

-AC/DC, T.N.T.

Chapter 10: Judgment Day

The sunlight, peeking through a crack in the curtains, was hot on his face. The light was a thin strip no more than an inch wide, dancing across his eyelids.

'_Fucking sun. Let me fucking sleep!'_

It wasn't letting him sleep, and it wasn't going to change anytime soon. That one strip of light was ruining his whole morning. The heat on his forehead wouldn't let him go back to sleep, nor would the brightness of the room. He didn't want to get up and close the curtains the rest of the way because once he started moving around he knew he'd never get back to sleep.

Deciding against the first option, he rolled over, hoping the light, now warming the back of his head, would be more tolerable. It wasn't. He shifted himself down the bed, sliding out of the light. His problem with the sunlight solved, he now had contest with his feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Lying on his stomach meant he would have to hold his legs up in the air, and that wasn't too comfortable. He rolled over again, trying to find a comfortable position. This wasn't any better. He didn't have to support his legs anymore, but the goddamn bed frame was cutting into the back of his thighs.

'_Fuck it,'_ he thought, sitting up in his boxers, his hair askew with one eye open, _'I just can't win today,' _He squinted at the curtains, _'Fucking sun.' _His neck creaked as he turned to look at the clock. It took his bleary eyes a few seconds to register that it was 11:23. It took him a few seconds more to debate over whether it was am or pm, before discarding the latter.

He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair, "What's today?" he asked to no one in particular.

"It's the day of our fight, of course," said a voice directly ahead of him.

Naruto snapped his eyes forward, focusing on a rather large red and tan blob that he assumed to be Ayaka. "…What the hell are you doing in my hotel?"

Ayaka laughed, "You own the hotel?

Naruto grumbled, irritated, "Don't be dense, you know what I mean. How did you get in here?"

"The window, of course. When I didn't see you around town this morning, I went looking for you."

Naruto opened his other eye, as his friend slowly began to come into focus, "So, how long have you been sitting there?"

"Not long," she crossed her legs, shifting in her chair a little and smiling, "Only about twenty or thirty minutes.

Naruto groaned, "Do I need to ask why, or are you just going to leave me to get dressed in peace?"

Ayaka got up and started walking toward the window, "To be honest, I was going to come back later, but watching you fight that patch of sun was just too damn funny!"

Naruto just grumbled.

Brushing the curtain aside, she climbed out the window and on to lobby roof. She turned back for a brief moment, "If you can get ready in time to meet me at the Ramen stand by 12:00, I'll buy lunch."

Naruto simply nodded, opting to scratch his ass rather than respond.

"And one more thing," Ayaka added, popping her head back through the window.

"Ehn?"

She giggled, "Your junk has been hanging out this whole time."

Naruto glanced down, catching sight of his eggs and bacon, complete with semi-rigid morning wood. "Son of a bitch…"

When he glanced back up, Ayaka was gone.

* * *

Unfortunately for Naruto, he hadn't had the foresight to plant a seal at the ramen stand yet. Not that he'd had the chance after passing out from exhaustion on the training field the night before. So as the case was, he found himself dashing out the front lobby of the hotel at 11:58 with his hair still dripping wet and his underwear on backwards. It would be close, but he was fairly certain he could make it on time.

He could see it up ahead, the ramen stand where he had had lunch with Ayaka a few days prior. Tossing the hanging curtains aside, Naruto caught his leg on the stool, stumbled, slammed his face into the table, and promptly crumpled to the ground.

Taking a moment to rub the newly forming bruise on his forehead as he sat up in the dirt, he caught sight of Ayaka just out of the corner of his eye two seats down from him. Naturally, she was making no effort to hide her laughter.

She leaned over and reached down, grabbing him under the arm and helping him up to his feet, "Is free ramen really that important to you?" she asked between spurts of laughter.

Naruto took a seat on the stool next to her, "Well, you were offering to pay…" He wiped a trickle of blood from his forehead.

"Not anymore," she smiled, "It's 12:01."

"You…"

"Oh, no!" she cut him off, "You're late, you pay for the food, that was the deal!"

Naruto crossed his arms in a huff, "Well, uh…" he paused for a moment, trying to think of a good excuse, "You didn't give me enough time!"

She snickered, "That was the whole point! If I gave you enough time to get here, I wouldn't get a free meal!"

He threw his arms in the air, "I ran all the way here with my underwear on backwards!"

She stifled a laugh, "Well I hope you're not expecting _me_ to do anything about it."

It was just too perfect, he couldn't pass it up, "Well, if you change your mind, you already know where my hotel room is…" he said with a smirk.

Ayaka glared daggers at him, but bit her tongue as she chose instead to divert the subject. "Why don't we stick to eating our lunch for now, and you can save getting naked for me for after you loose our match?" she said, as the man behind the counter set a bowl of ramen in front of each of them.

"Er," he stared at the bowl, "I didn't order anything, how did…"

"Miso pork, wasn't it? The last time we had ramen?"

"Er, yeah!" Naruto blurted out with a grin, "Thanks!"

She poked him in the chest with her chopsticks, "Now don't get ahead of yourself, you're still paying!"

Naruto could only grumble as he dug in to his noodles.

* * *

The bowls sat empty and cold on the counter in front of them. Void of all but the last few drops of broth, they sat cold and lonely. Naruto and Ayaka sat in relative silence after their meal, seemingly having run out of things to talk about as they ate.

Naruto was the first to break the silence, "So…do we just go have our match now?"

Ayaka cocked an eyebrow, "You want to go running around just after you ate?"

"Er," he hesitated, "Maybe that's not the best idea… wanna show me your place instead?" he asked with a grin.

She smiled back at him, "Well if you even hope to see my place, you're going to have to earn it. Now are you going to pay for the meal or not?"

Naruto sighed as he dug around in his pockets, "I, er," he started panicking a little, "I forgot to grab my money on the way out the door."

"Bullshit!" Ayaka punched him in the stomach, "Cheap bastard," she mumbled as she pulled some money out of her front pocket and slapped it down on the counter.

Naruto could only watch, recovering from the hit, as she turned her back on him and started to stalk off.

"Well, are you coming with me or not?"

Naruto scrambled to his feet and chased after her.

* * *

"So where are we going again?"

They had been walking for some time and appeared to be in the middle of nowhere, or at the very least, a section of town that Naruto hadn't seen yet.

"I'll tell you when we get there…Oh! Down this way!" She grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into the alley, "Remember when I said I wasn't going to show you my apartment?"

"Er, yeah. Why? Is that where you're taking mhmmm!"

He didn't have time to finish his sentence as Ayaka pinned him up against the wall and seized his lips.

A swirling vortex of thoughts erupted in Naruto's head, so much so he could barely focus on the kiss. _'Holy shit! It's happening! It's actually happening! I'm going to get laid in an alleyway!'_

Slowly, Ayaka slid her hand down his side as she played with his hair with the other. She pressed herself close to him as she snaked her hand around behind him, squeezing, rubbing, grabbing between nibbles on his lower lip.

'_Fuck this is awesome!'_ Naruto couldn't focus on anything else, _'Please, never let it end!'_

And just as quickly as it had started, it was over. Ayaka pulled back and stepped away. Something was off though. _'Wait, where's my…?' _

"I told you you'd pay for lunch." She smiled sweetly as she dug all the bills out of his wallet, and then stuffed them down the front of her shirt. "Now we're even!" She tossed his wallet back to him with a gentle flick of her wrist.

"But," he stammered as he caught it, "There was enough in there to pay for five lunches!"

She winked at him, "Call it a service charge."

Naruto was flustered, "Fine, I don't need it. Are you ready to go to our fight or what?"

Ayaka tapped the spot in her bra where she had tucked the money, "I am now…"

"Then get your floozy ass over here so we can get going."

She put her hands on her hips, "Wherever it is you have in mind, I can walk just fine!"

"Just trust me, this is quicker. Get over here."

She took a hesitant step toward him and he grabbed her firmly by the shoulder. He closed his eyes and focused in what he thought to be the direction of the training field. It was faint, but he could just barely sense a seal a number of miles away. He crossed his fingers and reached out to activate the seal.

"What are you…"

* * *

"…doing?" Ayaka took a step back, looking around, "What the hell? Did you do something to me?"

Naruto snickered, "Don't worry, I never got used to the feel of it either."

"Where are we, exactly?" She asked, turning around in circles a few times, trying to take in the scenery, "Or better yet, how did we get here?"

"That," said a new voice, "was my doing." Off to the left Minato appeared from behind a rock, his hands in his pockets as he strode toward them.

"You!" Ayaka pointed, "You're that guy from the market the other day!"

"He's my dad, actually," Naruto cut in, "And this is where he and I have been training for the last week. I figured it would be a good place for us to have our fight."

"A good place, eh?" she stared him down, "You know the layout of the surrounding area, and that gives you home field advantage!"

"No, actually it doesn't" Minato cut in, "I've been training here long enough to know that this spot is a particular favorite of the whirlpool village. Odds are, you know the layout of the area better than any of us."

She frowned, "Fine then, how are we going to do this?"

"I'll explain the rules in a moment," He pulled Naruto aside and handed him a fistful of kunai from inside his tattered grey cloak, "Here, give these a try. I used to fight with something just like them back in the day. This paper on the handle…" he unwrapped one of them a little bit, "has your seal written on it. Just charge it and let it fly."

Naruto tucked them into his satchel,

There was a loud bang and a cloud of smoke between the three of them as a man in red appeared on top of a frog, "Sorry I'm late. They were running a bit behind on that thing you asked me to pick up."

Minato smiled, "That's okay, you're just in time."

Ayaka was growing impatient, "Now who the hell is…Wait a minute, you're that pervert that grabbed my ass last week and again this morning!"

"Er, yeah," Naruto was scratching the back of his head, "That guy happens to be my grandfather. I, uh, come from a long line of perverts."

Ayaka raised an eyebrow, "You're not going to try anything during our fight are you?"

"I -"

"To hell with it all!" Minato cut them off, "Standard exam tournament rules; you fight to a knock out or until one of you surrenders. Jiraiya and I will officiate. Sound good to everyone?"

"About fucking time," Ayaka grinned.

Naruto nodded in response.

"Fight!"

Minato and Jiraiya hurried off to the sidelines as the pair took their fighting stances. They paced in circles, slowly, each staring the other down.

"So, do you want first attack, or should I just end this right now?" Ayaka teased him.

"Oh no," he smirked, "Ladies first."

She smiled, "Oh, but I insist!"

He returned the gesture, "Well, if you're too afraid…" He reached into his bag, pulled out three of the new seal equipped kunai and let them fly. With hardly an effort Ayaka moved aside and the three blades lodged themselves harmlessly in three of the trees behind her.

"Is that the best you've got?"

"Hardly,"

Ayaka charged toward him, then hooked sharply around to attack him from the right. Naruto quickly backpedaled away from her as she came at him with a round house kick. Missing that, she used her momentum to drive into a front flip, bringing her foot down towards Naruto. He leapt back just in time to avoid the strike as the ground crumbled beneath her foot.

"Doton – Retsudo Zanshu Tenshou!"

The earth beneath his feet cleaved open, dropping him inside and just as quickly filling in around him, leaving only his head exposed above ground.

Slowly, Ayaka strode over to him. She planted one foot on his forehead, "Anything you want to say before I finish this?" She leaned forward a bit, grinning.

Naruto paused, furrowing his brow and thinking for a moment before looking up at her, "I really, really wish you'd worn a skirt today."

Her expression soured, "You perverted son of a bitch!" She brought her heel down hard on his face, only slightly surprised when the clone disappeared with a puff of smoke.

She put her hands on her hips, '_well if he isn't there, he's probably…_'

"Rasengan!"

She took a quick hop to the right as Naruto sailed past her and slammed his swirling blue vortex of chakra into a boulder, cleaving it in two. Having lost his balance he quickly rolled over onto his back and desperately tossed a kunai in her direction. It sailed high above her head, just as Naruto disappeared.

"You're little disappearing trick isn't going to help you much if you can't even hit a target with a kunai!" she taunted him. Something was wrong though. Naruto had disappeared but…weren't there two halves of the boulder he had crashed into?

She glanced up just in time to find the other half of the boulder plummeting down toward her.

Naruto, perched on top of the massive rock, was dropping straight at her. There was an earth shaking thud as he crashed to the ground.

From the nearby tree line, Ayaka watched as a spreading puddle that had been her water clone seeped out from under the rock. She saw Naruto hop down off the rock, but she knew that that Naruto was a clone as well, and if the real Naruto wasn't out in the field, he had to be hiding somewhere. She scanned the edge of the woods, looking for him. He had to be… there! She spotted him off to the left, about three hundred yards to the side and directly across. Now all she needed to do was get the drop on him.

* * *

'_There's no way she would keep herself in the line of fire,_' Naruto thought to himself, '_and if she's anything like me, she's hiding somewhere. All I have to do is find her first. But if she beats me to it…_' He pulled one of the kunai out of his pouch and turned it over in his fingers, feeling the paper wrapped around the handle. With a flick of his wrist he tossed it into the tree above him, '_Just in case…'_

He hopped down from his branch to the tree in front of him, trying to get a better look. He knew he was putting himself in danger by coming out of hiding, but there was no way he would be able to find her if he didn't. It'd be better to at least see the attack coming if he was going to be snuck up on.

* * *

Close. So close.

Ayaka sat in a tree branch a few yards behind Naruto, watching him to make sure she had surprise on her side. Her lips curled up in a grin. As long as he didn't suspect anything, she might as well have some fun at his expense.

Quietly she leapt from her perch, directing herself to land just behind her target.

Her feet touched down with a soft tap. She watched as Naruto turned his head slightly to catch sight of what caused the noise. It was going to be perfect.

"RAHHH!" She threw her hands in the air.

"Oh, shi-!" His eyes widened in surprise as he tried to take a step back. Finding none, he overbalanced, falling tits over teacups to the ground and landing in a heap some fifteen feet below.

Ayaka was bawling with laughter, "Haha! You jackass! You call yourself a ninja, falling for a trick like that!" She paused for a moment to catch her breath…something wasn't right. Where did he disappear to so quickly?

Realization struck her just in time, as she sidestepped left, four shuriken whizzing past her ear. She spun around, catching sight of Naruto just above her, "Do you ever stop running away?"

"I'll stop running when you start fighting serious!" He smirked.

'_I'll make him eat those words._' She scowled, "I'll fight serious when you stop dicking around!"

Naruto jumped down past her, hurrying toward the open field, "Then let's get back to it, shall we?" He called back over his shoulder.

Ayaka gave chase into the field, just a few paces behind him. She dodged around trees and leapt over boulders as they headed toward the vast open expanse in the middle of the field.

Naruto stopped and turned, waiting for Ayaka to catch up to him. She wasn't far behind him, only a few paces, and came to a stop just a few feet away from him.

"There's nowhere else for you to run to," she taunted, "I've figured out your little trick, and it won't work again!"

Naruto disappeared, then reappeared right behind her, "Are you really sure about that?"

A hand erupted from the ground, grabbing Naruto by the ankle and pulling him under, up to his neck.

"I'm quite positive, actually," She snickered, as she withdrew a folded sheet of paper from her weapons pouch, "Did you really think I wouldn't notice a clone of yours slipping a seal into my bag while you tried to distract me back there?"

"Well, I was hoping…" Naruto rolled his eyes,

She scowled, then started a series of hand seals, "Suiryuudan no Jutsu!"

A dragon shaped pillar of water ripped out of the ground behind Ayaka and roared. Gleaming in the sunlight, it twisted and hurtled straight toward Naruto's exposed head. Naruto turned his head and braced as the water dragon came crashing down on him with tremendous force.

He coughed and sputtered as the torrent of water finally tapered off. The immediate area was flooded with two or three inches of water. He could feel the excess starting to seep into the ground, soaking him to the bone.

Ayaka kneeled down in front of him, "Aww, I'm sorry. Did I get you all wet?" She chuckled as she tussled his hair.

"Fine, if that's how it's going to be…" He disappeared leaving only an empty hole in the ground.

"Son of a bitch! Would you give that shit a rest!?" She started looking around for him.

"Over here!" he called.

She caught sight of him over by where they had first started their entanglement. She retrieved a kunai from her pouch and charged toward Naruto in the middle of a group of three trees.

Just as she was about to strike, he disappeared, reappearing directly to her right, "You're going to have to try harder than that!"

She stabbed at him, just missing as he disappeared again.

He reappeared behind her, "Try it again!"

She didn't care anymore about the bet or her reputation; he was running just to piss her off and she wanted nothing more than to nail his fucking feet to the ground. She spun around and stabbed wildly at him, missing again as he disappeared.

"Quit running and fight you son of a bitch! Don't you know any other techniques!?"

Naruto, now behind her, took this as a challenge. He smirked; she was going to regret asking that. His hands formed the ram hand seal, as he lowered his shoulders and charged, "Taijutsu no Ōugi! One Thousand Years of Pain!"

* * *

"Oh, fuck no…"Minato grimaced in horror.

Jiraiya just shook his head, "…Baka."

* * *

His fingers were in her rectum. Ayaka was grimacing at the discomfort and awkwardness of the situation, '_Did he just attack me with an ass-poke tai-jutsu?_'

Naruto, who had been grinning like an idiot, was now coming to the realization that he had made a serious lapse in judgment.

Ayaka whipped around and kicked him as hard as she could below the belt and watched as Naruto crumpled to the ground like a sack of potatoes, moaning in pain. "You fucking pervert!" She kicked him in the ribs, "What the hell was that!?"

Naruto moaned as he rolled over on to his side.

Ayaka kicked him in the back, "If you want to resort to cheap bullshit tactics, then I'm just going to end this whole fight right now! **Suirou no Jutsu**"

A bubble of water formed up around Naruto. He had nowhere to go, and no way to get out. He could feel the air beginning to burn in his lungs like Greek fire.

"You have two choices," Ayaka scoffed, "Surrender or die!"

Naruto showed no signs of giving in as he struggled against the water prison for air.

"What is it going to be? Do I have to kill you?"

Slowly, Naruto brought his head up to look at Ayaka straight on. He raised his hand, pointing just over her shoulder.

The grin melted from her face as she turned to lock eyes with impending doom. One of Naruto's clones was falling towards her from the heavens. He held his arm high, in his hand was a bright blue ball of chakra with four bladed arms spiraling around the core. The wind rippled and the grass danced as the distance closed between them.

"Oh, hell no…" Ayaka released the water prison, differing all of her attention to bracing for the attack. She brought her arms up and waited for the worst. Any moment now…

She felt a hand grab her ankle, as everything went black.

* * *

'_Is this…death?_' She wondered to herself. There was blackness all around, and she felt no pain. Actually, she felt nothing, she felt empty.

At once, sensation came rushing back to her as the world faded into focus. She looked around, realizing she was up in the trees. But if she was here, then where was…

Ahead of her in the middle of the field, there was an expanding blue mass of energy, whipping, ripping, tearing at everything in its way with a deafening roar. It only lasted a moment though, before the massive attack dissipated, leaving only an immense crater in the earth and devastation all around it.

"Do you surrender?" said a voice beside her.

She turned her head slowly, in shock, still not completely sure if she was alive or dead.

There was Naruto standing beside her, grinning like an idiot. Slowly, she pieced it together. Just before the attack landed, he had whisked them both away to safety. It was the only explanation. He had tricked her and lured her into a trap that only he could have saved her from.

She dipped her head, "Yeah, you got me."

* * *

Well, here's hoping that lived up to expectations! See you soon! If you have a moment, I always appreciate comments!

BONUS CONTENT!! Fight Story Boards! (Yeah, they're stick figures, what of it?)

Page 1:

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Page 2:

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Page 3:

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	11. Called Up

WHAT!? Another chapter!? This soon!?

* * *

A Brief History of Life

I'm goin' away baby but,

I'll be back some day

I'm goin away baby

I be back some day, babe

I been called in the army, baby

Lord knows I gotta go

-John Lee Hooker, I Gotta Go to Vietnam

Chapter 11: Called Up

"Hell of an interesting fight." Minato sighed as he leaned back into his seat.

It had turned into a rather cool night after the sun went down. The sounds of the restaurant buzzed around them: sizzling food, snippets of conversation, the clatter of plates, cups and utensils. Naruto's father had insisted on taking him out to a nice dinner as a reward for winning the match. Jiraiya, of course, had tagged along as well.

"Yeah," Jiraiya agreed, "even if you two were only messing around."

Shortly after the fight, Ayaka had disappeared, saying that she had some things to attend to. To some, it might have been taken that she was running away, perhaps to hide her shame or to brood in her defeat. There was just something about the way she went about it, however, just politely excusing herself, that made Naruto realize it was neither of these. She accepted her loss, and had to continue on with the rest of her day, that's all there was to it.

"That was definitely some creative use of my seals," his father nodded, "That's the trick to it all really. It's not a matter of just getting somewhere quickly; it's what the seal lets you do."

Naruto was seated across from his father and grandfather in the booth. He hadn't done much after the fight. He had celebrated, of course, but after Ayaka left, he just sort of let the events take a back seat. Yeah, he had mastered his father's jutsu and used it to win his fight, but now…

"Naruto?"

Time to move on to something else. He didn't know what yet, but that's all he could think of, that it was time for something new. It would be the same way with his new friend, he realized. All up to this point, it had been nothing but rivalry and build up to the fight. So what's next? A rematch? No, there was no point to it. Meet her for ramen again? No, he had done that twice already.

"Hey! Naruto!" Minato waved his hand in front of his eyes to grab his attention.

"Huh?" Naruto snapped his attention back to the matter at hand, "Oh, sorry. What was it?"

His father was looking at him strangely, as if trying to read his thoughts, "Nothing, really, you just seem distracted is all."

"Eh," Naruto shrugged, "I was just thinking is all."

Jiraiya arched his eyebrows, "That's not like you. What's on your mind?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing much, really. Just wondering what I do now. I've finished the jutsu and won my fight, so what's next? I just go home right?"

Jiraiya thought for a moment, "Well, Tsunade didn't really give us any time constraints on our mission, so we could stick around here a few more days if you want to. You know, just explore the town or something. If Konoha needs us for something important before then, they'll send word."

"I guess so," Naruto poked at his food with a chopstick, "What about you, dad? Are you coming back with us?"

"Actually—"

"You know better than that," Jiraiya cut him off, "Tsunade already explained to you what would happen. Everyone back home thinks the Fourth is dead. If all of a sudden he were to show up, people might think he abandoned the village,"

Minato dipped his head slightly.

"Remember that organization that your friend Sai belongs to? Root? Well their leader is an old rival of the Third's by the name of Danzo. He's been looking for a chance to seize power since long before you were born. He would capitalize on this sentiment among the villagers, leading them to distrust the Hokage." Jiraiya sighed, as he grabbed the salt and pepper shakers, sitting them next to each other, "On one side, we have Tsunade and most of the Konoha nin. But on the other we have Danzo, a good chunk of ANBU, several disgruntled heads of houses, and likely the vast majority of the citizenry. He fans the flames of civil war, and uses the ensuing struggle to seize power." He knocked the salt shaker over.

Naruto moped, he knew Jiraiya was right, "So if this Danzo guy is so dangerous, why can't we just take him out?"

"How do you think it would look if one of the village's most powerful heads were taken out of the picture? I hate to say it Naruto, but just wanting to have your father in town is an extremely selfish reason to risk starting a war over."

Naruto laid his head down on his arms, "So just as soon as I find my father…"

"You know where he lives now," Jiraiya cut him off, "You can come visit him anytime you want."

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled into muffled arms, "I was just looking forward to having him around."

Minato sat silent, thinking it over, "What if I pretended to be his uncle? You said it yourself, there were thousands of witnesses to my supposed death. Who would believe otherwise?"

"You can't be serious!" Jiraiya shouted across the table, "You should know better than that!"

He dipped his head a bit, "I do, and I understand the risk, but I owe it to Naruto to be there for him. Besides, a simple henge no-jutsu would clear up any other potential issues."

Jiraiya sighed, "You're being stubborn and an idiot. We can't risk a war just so you can live with your son!"

"I realize that, but I think it can be done."

Jiraiya crossed his arms, "If you're so damn certain you can pull it off, then how about we test your disguise on Tsunade?" He huffed, "We'll leave the final word up to her, if you won't listen to me."

"Fine, we'll let her decide."

The two stewed in bitter silence for several seconds. The tension between them was thick in the air. It was all Naruto could do to ignore the bad blood as best he could and eat his meal. The silence was killing him though.

"So…" Naruto started, floundering for anything he could say to break the ice, "Is it true what they say about what mom did at your acceptance speech?"

Minato choked on his noodles. Jiraiya burst into laughter. It wasn't exactly a topic Naruto had wanted to know more about, but at least it cut the tension.

* * *

It was getting late. They had been sitting around chatting about nothing for most of the night. As the hour slowly approached eleven at night, the waiter brought the check by to help usher them out the door for closing time.

"How about a toast?" Minato cut in before the waiter could leave the table.

The man nodded as he walked away to fetch glasses. Moments later, he reappeared with the cups and a bottle of sake in hand, setting them down on the table without another word.

"Er," Naruto hesitated, "Why are there three cups? I'm not old enough to drink."

Jiraiya shrugged, "It's a toast, one drink won't hurt you."

"But," Naruto paused, "What about the three ninja vices you taught me about?"

"Moderation," his father cut in, "The key to anything is moderation. Think of it this way, if it's a vice for a ninja to be with women, then are all ninjas who have families bad ninjas?"

"Well," Naruto thought for a moment, "I guess not."

"Good! Now stop being a pussy and grab a glass!"

He shrugged as he poured himself a drink. His hand trembled slightly with hesitation.

Jiraiya and Minato raised their drinks:

"To family reunions,"

"To making amends,"

Naruto hesitated, thinking, "To…new friends?" It was the first thing that came to his mind. He didn't want to think too long, but he should have held on for a better idea. Their smiles told him he was right.

The other two tossed their drinks backs. Naruto stared at his reflection in the sake, his hand trembling slightly. '_Hell with it._' Before he could think twice, he tossed it back. It stung a little as it slid down his throat.

It was warm, or at least, that's the best way he could describe it. Sure, the drink itself had been heated up, but this was different. It was like a warmth pooling in the pit of his stomach, warming him up from the inside. As he sat there, contemplating the after taste, he could feel his tense muscles let go a little bit. He smiled, it was a good feeling. Maybe with a little more…

Minato swatted his hand away as Naruto reached for the bottle, "No, one's enough. You said it yourself, you're too young to drink anyway."

He just shrugged it off, his father was right. But it was such a great feeling, and he wanted to know how good it would get.

"So…" Jiraiya started with a knowing smile, taking another drink, "any plans for the rest of the night?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment, "Well, I was thinking about touring around the town for a while," he shrugged, "You know, see if I run in to anyone I know."

"Now I wonder who it could be you're hoping to run in to this late at night?" Minato grinned with a hint of knowing wit, also pouring himself a second round.

Jiraiya cleared his throat and smiled, "Well, it's a short list,"

Minato laughed, "That it is!" He tossed back his third before setting his empty cup in the middle of the table, "Which reminds me, it's a little chilly outside," he turned to Jiraiya, "Do you still have that thing I asked you to pick up?"

"I was wondering how long I was going to have to carry the damn thing," he fished around inside a sack he had been carrying over his shoulder all afternoon before pulling out a floppy sort of package bound with twine. "Are you sure you want to give this to him now? I didn't give you yours until you made hokage."

Minato seemed to mull it over for a few seconds, "Yeah, I'd say he's earned it."

Jiraiya just shrugged as he tossed to package across the table to Naruto who fumbled it a little when he caught it. He turned it over a few times squeezing it and running his hand across the brown paper it was wrapped in. "What is it, exactly?"

"Well if you'd open the damn thing, you'd find out."

Naruto paused for a second; the old man had a point. He drew a kunai and used it to gently cut through the twine that bound the package.

"What are you, some kind of woman?" His father taunted him, "Rip that fucker open!"

He spared only an irritated glance up as he jammed the kunai into the table and ripped into the package. What spilled out was what appeared to be a large piece of orange and black cloth. As he held it up, it unfolded to reveal a long coat.

"Bit of a family tradition," Minato grinned as he saw Naruto's eyes light up with excitement, "Your grandfather gave me my white one, now I'm giving you something of your own. It's different from mine, but where's the originality if you pass down the same damn cloak?"

As Naruto inspected it, he saw his father was right. It had a few similarities to the one he had seen his father wearing in his history books: it was about the same length, and had the same high collar, but that's pretty much where the similarities ended. The sleeves were a little longer, coming to just shy of about where he supposed his elbows would be. It was a mainly orange cloak with a solid, thin black trim, converging at the top to a solid black shoulders and collar. Centered in the back was a red spiral that seemed to snake and weave outwards.

"I figured since you're a wind type, I'd go for a design that kinda had a wind feel to it. That and it's pointless to give you one with flames on it if you're not a fire type…"

Jiraiya edged himself in, "It's a good fabric too. Fire resistant, water resistant, tear resistant, cool when it's warm, but still warm when it's cold. Soft, too."

"Wait," Naruto asked as he admired it, "does that mean this can thing protect me from a jutsu?"

Jiraiya bobbed his head back and forth a little, considering it, "Not really. It's just a nice, durable fabric."

"Yeah," Minato agreed with him, "It'll keep you dry in the rain, but that's about as much protection as it provides."

Naruto was psyched that he had a cloak similar to the iconic one his father wore. He stood up in the aisle, threw it over his shoulders, fed his arms through and tied the front shut all in one smooth motion. He caught a glimpse of himself in the store window, '_Oh, hell yes!_' He felt like no one could touch him now, that he was invincible, a god among men.

"So," Minato's voice brought him back from his thoughts, "As an Uzumaki, it is tradition that you wear that cloak of yours at all times, got it?"

Naruto saluted, "Ossu!"

"Now get over here," Minato refilled all three of the glasses, "One last toast before we turn you loose on the town."

* * *

Well, his father was right about one thing, this new cloak did a good job of keeping out the cool night breeze. He shivered a little as he pulled the front of the cloak a little tighter around him. The alcohol in his stomach made him feel as though he were gliding just over the surface of the ground.

He wasn't really sure where he was anymore. He had been walking for a good ten minutes down the main road, just enjoying the stillness of the night. The stars shone brightly overhead, as he gazed up at the sky. The city lights were washing out some of the dimmer points of light, but he could still see most of them.

His joints creaked as he came to a rest on a bench on the side of the road. He took a heavy sigh, he was lonely. He didn't want to go back to the hotel just yet, though. The day just didn't feel like it was over yet, like it warranted going to sleep and starting over. Not yet. It felt like one of those times when Ayaka might just show up out of nowhere to surprise him with a hello and a friendly conversation.

He glanced up, looking around. He scanned every shadow and rooftop and frowned. She wasn't here. Why the hell would she be? It was after midnight, she would probably be sleeping by now. He tipped his head forward, closing his eyes as he lost himself in thought. He would see her tomorrow, in all likelihood. In the mean time he had to figure out what he wanted to do. The first thing would be to go home. There'd probably be some new missions waiting for him after he reported to Baa-chan. What would she say when he brought his father back to the village? There was also the fact that he was still a genin. It didn't really bother Naruto that he was the lowest ranking ninja among his friends, though. It's not like he was being treated like a genin.

"Hi," A voice beside him.

He turned his head to the right, catching sight of Ayaka hugging her legs on the bench beside him, smiling at him.

Had he willed her there? "Hey, uh…how are you?" He smiled back at her.

"I'm good." She locked eyes with him for a brief moment before glancing away, "I couldn't really sleep, figured I'd go for a walk…you know…"

"So you weren't stalking me again?"

She shrugged, "Maybe, maybe not. You'll never know," She giggled, her breath forming little clouds in the cold air with each word.

"What really gets me is how you keep sneaking up on me like that," He glanced over at her before returning his gaze to his feet.

She giggled again, "Really, it's easy when your target's not paying attention."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, then closed it, lacking anything to say. He felt like there was something important not being said between them. It hung in the air, dancing in front of him, teasing him almost, as he tried to figure out what it was.

"So, I was wrong about you," She broke the silence, "Maybe you're smarter than I gave you credit for. You got me good back there today." She scooted a little closer to him

Naruto shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so." He smiled off into the distance.

Ayaka glanced at him irritated, "You still can't read people for shit though."

"What?" Naruto had no idea what he was supposed to have picked up on. Gazing over at her, he realized she was practically leaning up against him she was so close. She was grasping her knees tight to her chest, shivering a little, "Oh, right." He stood up and unlatched his cloak.

"What are you…?"

Naruto swung it off his shoulders and draped it over her, before sitting down next to her again.

"Well, that's not exactly what I meant but, thanks."

They both stared straight ahead, each searching for the next thing to say. The sound of crickets in the nearby grass permeated everything. There was a certain stillness to the night as the two of them sat on the bench under the street light.

She felt so close, but yet so far away. Maybe it was the alcohol, he didn't know, but something was compelling him to just go ahead and be impulsive. What the hell, he was cold without his jacket, he was going for it. He wedged his hand out from between them and laid it across her shoulder, pulling her in tighter.

She smiled as she laid her head down on his shoulder.

They sat like that for a few moments. It was nice, just enjoying each other's warmth and embrace. It was hard for Naruto to describe the feeling he got as he sat next to her. Love? No, that wasn't it. He didn't think it quite warranted that word yet. He did care for her one hell of a lot though. If anything happened to her, he'd feel so alone. That was it. It was like when he was alone all those years ago, except not. It was the opposite of all those years ago. The feeling of being needed, wanted, appreciated. He squeezed her a little tighter as he rested his head against hers.

They sat like that a few more minutes in the relative stillness of the night. Naruto was beginning to feel the first tugs of sleep pull at him when Ayaka spoke.

"I still have to take care of that wager of ours right?"

"Hmm? Eh, don't worry about it." He mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"No, a deals a deal," She sighed, "I was thinking, mind if we just get it out of the way?" She hesitated, licking her lips, "I was…well…I just…want to get it over with, is all."

"Okay," Naruto squeezed her shoulder (though he didn't know why), "What's the best way to do this?"

She thought a moment, hesitating. It was already out there, this was the best way…

"My place is just around the corner. Do you mind following me there?"

* * *

It was a nice place; clean, orderly, and classy. As soon as Naruto stepped through the front door of her apartment he was struck by how well she seemed to maintain it. The walls were a pale tan and adorned with pictures of people he didn't know. There was a small table in an alcove directly ahead of him, next to what appeared to be a modest kitchen. To his right was a small sitting room and a door to what he assumed was the bedroom.

"So, do you live here with your parents?" he asked, glancing at the sofa against the wall.

Ayaka shook her head as she closed the front door behind her, "No, when I passed my chunin exam, I decided to move out and get my own place."

"Oh, that's good." Naruto commented offhandedly, trying to take in all the details of the room he could. He shuffled his feet idly on the thick carpeting, "I've got my own place too."

Ayaka shrugged, "It's not big, but it's enough for me."

It was definitely small, probably only about half the size of Naruto's apartment. Not that his was much to speak of either.

"Er, this way…" Ayaka led him to a door in the far corner of the main room, opening it and proceeding inside.

Naruto followed her in, closing the door behind him. The bedroom was also rather small. A modest bed backed up to the left wall, its sheets made and tucked in neatly. The crimson walls matched the sheets and contrasted with the dark brown carpet. There were a few plants on the dresser, but aside from the curtains, there was little other decoration to speak of.

"Cozy…" he mumbled as he glanced around.

"I know it's not much," her face was turning red a bit, "I don't really need anything big, and we don't really get that many missions out here anyway…"

"It's nice," he smiled at her. He had meant to put her at ease a bit, but probably made it worse.

"Well, I guess this is yours," Ayaka shrugged the orange and black coat off, "I'll just, leave this over here…" she draped it over a chair in the corner.

"Yeah, that…that's fine," Naruto blushed a bit as he looked away. '_What the hell am I so nervous about?_' The alcohol was wearing off, leaving him feeling more and more exposed.

Ayaka stood in the middle of the room fidgeting a little, "So, I guess um, I might as well get this over. Uh, over with, I mean…" She began lifting up her shirt a little, "Um, would you mind not looking? I'm kinda…well…" She was turning as red as her crimson walls.

"Yeah, sure," Naruto was more than happy to turn away. He wasn't the one getting naked, but the situation was so uncomfortable, he might as well have been. He waited a few moments more as he nervously listened to the sound of rustling cloth and the gentle sound it made as she let each piece drop to the floor.

"O…okay,"

He could hear the hesitation in her voice, and felt guilty that he was even considering turning around. It was for the better though, if only so he could let her get it over with. He turned slowly, not sure what to expect.

She stood there in only her black panties, covering her chest with her arms. She was looking away, refusing to make eye contact for the sheer nervousness she was feeling.

Naruto smiled, taking a step forward. His arm reached out, acting almost on its own. He didn't know what the hell he was doing, or why. He was just…doing. He placed his hand on her shoulder. It was smooth, soft, perfect. He smiled at her.

She glanced up, catching his gaze for a brief moment, before breaking it away just as quickly. "Its okay…you can."

"What?" He was confused. Something about the whole complexity of the situation was causing his brain to shut down.

Ayaka grimaced, "Retard," she grabbed his other arm and placed it on her breast.

"Oh." He paused, unsure of what to do next. Well, he knew what he _wanted_ to do next, he just wasn't sure if he should. Slowly, he started moving his hand a little bit, back and forth.

Ayaka put her hands on his waist, and pulled him in a little closer, holding him against her. '_I'm going to end up regretting this…_' she thought to herself, '_or…maybe I won't…_'

* * *

The sun shone in through the thin curtains, bleeding a thin strip of warmth across Naruto's face. He tossed and turned a little, but he knew it was useless. He had unfortunately learned that lesson the prior morning. He looked around as he wiped the crud out of the corners of his eyes. '_Where the hell am I? Wait, isn't this…_' He risked a brief glimpse to the side. Yup, that was Ayaka all right, sleeping peacefully. But that would mean…

Memories of the night before came flooding back: dinner, his new coat, going for a walk, sitting with Ayaka on the bench, following her back to her apartment…

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he started wandering the room looking for his hastily discarded clothing. He grabbed his shirt off the dresser and his pants off the floor and threw them on. Where the hell was his forehead protector? He looked up, fearing a cliché. And there it was, dangling from the ceiling fan, right next to Ayaka's panties. He glanced quickly around the room quickly making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. Satisfied he had everything, he tossed his cloak over his shoulders and opened the door out to the balcony. As he stepped through the door he glanced back, debating on waking Ayaka or not.

Deciding against it, he stepped outside for some early morning air. The sun was shining brightly overhead, and there were only a few clouds to speak of. It was going to be a great day. He took a deep breath, enjoying the crisp air. It had been a fun night, once they each got past their initial hesitations. As to when Jiraiya had slipped a rubber into his pocket, Naruto didn't have a clue. The condom alone would have been creepy enough, but did the old bastard really have to include a handwritten note of encouragement with a list of tips on the back?

"Fucking Ero-senin. Having to go and do weird shit like that…"

"Well, I was just trying to help." Came a voice from above him.

Naruto spun around, looking up to catch sight of Jiraiya winking at him from the next balcony up.

"Sleep well?" he asked with a dirty grin.

He couldn't help it, "Very well, actually," he smiled back, tossing a thumbs up.

"That's good to hear, because we're heading out as soon as you're ready."

"What? Whatever happened to sticking around here a few more days?"

Jiraiya dropped a note off the balcony for Naruto to catch, "Just got word this morning, Tsunade has a new assignment for you. Said for us to be back home A.S.A.P."

Naruto caught the paper and opened it up, "Why is it dated for arrival two days ago?"

"To be honest," Jiraiya scratched his neck, "we were supposed to start on our way two days ago, but I just couldn't force you to go home without settling that fight…"

"So when do we have to leave?"

"Now, if you have everything."

Naruto glanced back over his shoulder into the bedroom, "Can I say goodbye?"

Jiraiya appeared to think it over for a minute, "You can if you want to, but sometimes it's just easier to leave a note. You know, it just let's her deal with your departure on her own terms."

Naruto nodded, "Alright, just give me a minute." He ducked back inside the room, walking over to the edge of the bed. He watched Ayaka shifting around in bed a little as she fought against the sunlight. He smiled, she looked so content to stay asleep, he really didn't want to have to wake her if he didn't have to. Plus, as soon as he was finished with whatever business he had back home, he was sure he'd come back to see her again.

Quietly, he grabbed a pencil and the memo pad from on top of the dresser and began to write:

_Ayaka,_

_Sorry I had to leave so suddenly, I got an urgent message from home. There's an important mission they need me for. I'll be sure to visit the next time I have a chance._

_-Naruto_

Short, accurate, and to the point. He really did want to say goodbye to her, but there would be another time for that, he hoped. He tore the sheet off the top of the pad and placed it carefully on the bed next to her. She stirred slightly as he stepped back and headed out onto the porch, closing the door behind him.

Jiraiya and Minato were waiting for him when he turned around. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

So, I was able to get another one out in what seems like record time. Don't get used to it though, it was only a fluke that I didn't feel like doing homework this week. (Or I hope it's a fluke...)

For the record, I am not encouraging underage drinking. At all. Ever. That would be irresponsible of me. So don't do it.

I was tempted to write out a full lemon but, it's just not my style. It feels almost like I'm just whoring out my story for the sake of fulfilling my sexual deviancies...or something. Truth be told, I just realized there'd probably be at least one guy sitting in his mom's basement whacking it to Ayaka riding Naruto, and that thought was just creepy as hell. (No offense to anyone presently resideing in their parents' basement, I was just playing on a stereotype.)

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated if you have a moment to do so.


	12. Teamwork

Okay, it's been a while, I'll admit. I'm really sorry that this one took so long to come together, I just got really busy right around midterms and it never let up after that. Between essays, two part time jobs, tests, more essays, and a new X-Box 360, I just couldn't find the time (Don't worry, I'm kidding about the 360...sort of). Also, a number of you were understandably upset at the lack of a lemon in the last chapter. Admittedly, I was probably being a tad overzealous, but I think I found a way that's classy enough to keep me happy while giving you savages what you want. ;)

* * *

A Brief History of Life

Now you're talkin' double team

Supreme!

-Tenacious D, Double Team

Chapter 12: Teamwork

The first few hours of the trek had been spent in a relatively awkward silence. He had gotten… personal… with Ayaka (or at least that's how he preferred to phrase it) the night before. Having to then spend extended amounts of time alone with his father and grandfather, the perverts that they are, only made it harder for Naruto to think about.

They had spent the time in between bombarding him with personal questions, each getting more and more so as they progressed. He didn't want to know the details of their sex lives, why the hell did they want to know his?

In all fairness, he could almost deal with a few of them, and maybe a few of them he could chalk up to just basic hazing, but they crossed a line when they stopped asking if he enjoyed it and began asking things like if she had shaved a little leaf symbol into her – _'No!'_ he forced it out of his head, he didn't want to think about it.

"So did she shave a little leaf into her hair or not?" Minato and Jiraiya were grinning like a pair of eight year olds at the state fair.

"No goddammit!" Naruto snapped back at them, "And what the hell do you want to know for?"

"Er…" Neither of them had a good answer.

"Well, with some information, we can tell you about uh… how she thinks?" Jiraiya piqued up.

He was infuriated, what they had done together was… Special? Magical? No, that didn't sound right. It was wild, it was crazy, but yet, he had never felt so… close to someone. Who the hell were they to try and sully what they had together? _'Wait, what do we have? We didn't have anything, did we? We had… relations… but did we actually _have _something?'_

"So, are you going to tell us the details or not?"

"Fine! If I walk you through it, will you let it drop!?" He shouted back over his shoulder, not sure who it was he was supposed to shout at.

Jiraiya and Minato glanced briefly at each other before replying together.

"Sure!" "Yeah!"

Fucking perverts, they were like vultures to a fresh corpse. He sighed, "After this, we drop it, alright?" He couldn't see them behind him but he knew they were nodding in silent, greedy agreement.

"It started off simply enough. She wanted to get her part of the bet out of the way, so after we spent some time sitting together on a bench, she took me back to her place and…er, led me into her bedroom." This was already uncomfortable enough, the juicier parts _'No! No! Out! I didn't mean it like that!'_ were going to be tantamount to a sightseeing trip through hell.

"Well there's your first oversight," Jiraiya piqued in, "She wouldn't have taken you into her bedroom if—"

"Dammit, just let me finish, would you?" Naruto paused, waiting for Jiraiya to respond, but when he didn't, he continued on with his tale, "Once she took her top off, she had me touch her …breast, as she… um, t-took my pants… off."

Minato could see where this was going, he had to say something, "We're not asking you this just because we want to torment you, we're just trying to help you make the most of learning from your experience."

Naruto rolled his eyes, _'Bullshit,'_ he took a deep breath and continued on as he leapt to the next branch, "So, my pants are off, and her shirt is off, she guides my hands… around her and then works on my shirt. So now we're both naked, embarrassed as hell, stealing glances at each other. I try to take a step back, slip on something, and end up on the bed."

"Smooth," Jiraiya smiled.

"Classy," Minato agreed.

Naruto hung his head, every time they interrupted him it was as hard as starting fresh, "Well, she sits beside me, and we do a little… um… touching, and…er…"

Minato furrowed his brow, "Do you mean touching as in 'cop-a-feel' touching, or did you-"

"It started like that and progressed," he cut his father off, trying to keep the intimate details to a minimum, _'Heh, intimate details. I'll never think of _that_ phrase the same way again!'_ He coughed, "She did a little…" _'I don't want to say it there has to be a better way than to say…'_ "…experimenting… with her mouth."

"A blowjob," Jiraiya pointed out,

"Could you stop interrupting please?! It's already hard enough to share the details of my first…encounter, with a girl-"

"Sex-capades."

Minato shot Jiraiya a nasty look, "Would you cut that shit out?"

Naruto smiled, at least his dad was looking out for him. Well, sort of, anyway, "After that, we moved on to some… actual stuff. She had already, um… taken care of herself a while ago, she said, so we didn't have trouble starting out or to, uh to deal with, er… _that_," He chuckled nervously, maybe if he could just speed through the rest of it…"We started off in the basic position, then she took top, then we tried a sideways thing, and we _'finished?_' ended with her on top again."

"Did you both-"

"Yes," Naruto cut his father off.

"And the condom?" Jiraiya asked.

"Used it."

Silence from both of them, as they seemed to mull it over in their minds. The silence was almost as painful as the retelling had been. Naruto tried to count the leaves and branches as they whizzed past his head to fill the silent void.

"Not bad for a first time, I'd say," Jiraiya chuckled under his breath.

Minato nodded in silent agreement, "Yeah. There's plenty we can help you with for next time."

"N-Next time?"

"Don't worry," He smiled, "Hard part's over. From here on, there's more enjoyment in it. You've got nothing to sweat."

If it was supposed to be easier from here on out, why was there a chilling sense of foreboding running down his spine?

"So, Let's take it from the top! Jiraiya?"

"Number one," Jiraiya started counting off on his fingers, "She sought you out in the dead of night and invited you back to her place."

"But she…"

"Ah Ah! No! We let you have your time, you give us ours."

Naruto grimaced, bracing for the worst. He touched down briefly, and just as quickly leapt to the next branch.

"The fact that she went looking for you means she wanted to see you. Ergo, she likes you. The fact that she took you back to her place is proof that she had planned something and was trying to force herself to continue along on that plan."

"Number two!" Jiraiya cut in, "She takes you into the bedroom,"

"Why the bedroom?" Minato asked with a grin, "I'll tell you why. She could have just as easily gotten naked in the living room and been done with it. There is only one reason a woman invites a man into her bedroom."

Naruto thought for a moment, "Couldn't she just have…"

"No," Jiraiya cut him off, "Bedroom always means she wants you. Be it sympathy sex, angry sex, or whatever, being led by her into a bedroom always means sex."

"What if there _was_ some legitimate reason for her to take me to her bedroom?"

"Like what? Give me a scenario."

"Well," Naruto hesitated, trying to think of something good, "What if she just needs a hand lifting something heavy or fixing something?"

"Even the most innocuous reasons can lead to sex if you play your cards right," Jiraiya cut a smile at him.

"But I thought you said it would be because she wanted it, not because I'd get lucky."

Jiraiya brushed the comments aside, "Never mind the specifics, it's all just a matter of how hard she makes you work for it."

'_Perverted bastard…'_

"On to number three! She not only got partially naked for you, she pulled you along with her."

"I don't care how you twist this one," Minato said with a guilty grin, "When she's taking your pants off, It's on. I can't put this any plainer than to just say it. She planned, and actively sought to have sex with you. Now, when a girl is the aggressor this can only mean one thing."

Jiraiya cut in, "Spontaneous sex does not just happen. She had a thing for you. A _big_ thing."

"Is…is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?"

He shrugged, "Depends how you look at it. You've almost guaranteed yourself a semi-long term relationship with this girl which, with work, means a steady supply of good times."

"Do you think I should go for it?" he pondered over it for a moment, watching the countless memories that could be flash past in his mind. Sharing ramen, showing her around Konoha, watching the sun rise from the hokage monument, getting a place together, asking her to…

"Eh," Minato's voice snapped him out of his daze, "At your age, it probably wouldn't lead to anything lasting. A few months tops, but it could still be useful to get some experience with women. What did she say when you told her you had to leave?"

"Well, I apologized for having to leave so suddenly, and said that I'd visit her as soon as I could. I just tried to keep the note short, you know? To the point."

Minato and Jiraiya exchanged worried glances.

"You left a note?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yeah,"

"For a girl you hope to see again?" Minato held his breath.

"Er… I hope so," Naruto was starting to realize he mightn't have taken the best course of action back in the room.

"Naruto," Jiraiya bit his lip, "Notes are for hookers and one night stands."

"…What? Then why the hell did you tell me I should just leave her a note!?"

"I didn't know you wanted to see her again! That's what the whole note strategy is for! It's a way to say thanks for a good time, but I don't care about you! The whole point of leaving a note is to make an escape while she's unable to stop you!"

"Well," Naruto dipped his head a bit, "Maybe if I apologize to her, she'll…"

"No!" Minato stepped in, "It's too late. By now she's woken up, found the note, and stewed for at least a few hours. She thinks you just used her for sex and left her. To go back now would be welcoming death!"

"But I only have to let her get one hit in before I can defend myself, right?"

"Actually," Jiraiya corrected him, "the one hit rule is for minor infractions like groping. Using a girl like this carries a stricter punishment."

Naruto gulped, nervousness tying his throat in a knot, "…Which is?"

Minato shook his head, "Cover your head and pray for mercy. I hate to say it, but you have to forget her. Any chance you had at anything is gone."

Naruto slumped his head, knowing he had ruined any potential he had with her, _'but… maybe… somehow…'_

* * *

There it was, the village gate. They were about five hundred yards out and the entrance to the village had just come in to view.

Minato held up his hand, "Wait a minute,"

"What's wrong?" Naruto came to a stop beside him, Jiraiya to the other side.

"The disguise, of course!" he grinned as he brought his hands together, "Can't go parading through the streets of Konoha like I am, right? Henge no-jutsu!"

As the smoke cleared, a new man emerged, hardly distinguishable from the one who had just been there. His shoulder length, spiky blond hair was now straitened out (though still just as disheveled) and about half as long, not to mention a shade of fiery red. His long face shortened into a more rounded shape and his eyes had sunken in. The only resemblance this man had to his father was the piercing blue gaze, lingering deep in the back of his sockets. He smiled.

"I still think we're taking far too big of a risk, bringing you back here." Jiraiya sighed as he crossed his arms.

* * *

Tsunade looked up at the sound of a brief knock on her door.

"Come in," she looked back down at her work, quickly getting lost in the shuffle of papers that lined her desk.

There was a creak as the door opened followed by a soft click as it closed behind the visitors.

"You ordered us back, Tsunade?"

She glanced up, catching sight of the two figures ahead of her, "Ah, Jiraiya, Naruto! Excellent timing! Did you complete your mission?"

Naruto cracked a grin, "Complete success!" He puffed out his chest with pride.

She snickered, "Well, that's certainly a welcome change," The smile melted back into her business composure, "So, I take that to mean you found…" she hesitated, "him?" There was a slight look of worrisome anticipation on her face.

Jiraiya nodded silently.

"I see," she folded her hands, propping her weary head up on her elbows, "and why exactly is he standing out in my hallway?"

The smile melted off of Naruto's face. She hadn't even needed to meet him to see through the disguise. Any chance of him being able to stay was…

"He had some …business… he needed to discuss with you." Jiraiya answered, cutting off Naruto, "he insisted it had to be in person."

Naruto shot a quick grin at Jiraiya before returning his attention to the Hokage.

Tsunade furrowed her brow, _'Idiot, he should know better.'_ She exhaled, "Fine, after we're done here, he and I will settle our business." She reached into her desk and removed a scroll, not bothering to shut the drawer, "Here, your new assignment."

Naruto took it from her outstretched hand as she returned her tired head to her palms,

"So," he turned it over a few times in his hands, "What is it?"

"Well, at this point it's more of a formality, but you technically haven't passed a chunin exam yet, and it would make my paperwork that much easier if you could finally get it out of the way."

"Wh-what?"

"The chunin exam!" She picked her head up to look Naruto in the eyes, "If you haven't remembered, you're still a genin! I'd have promoted you a year ago, but you're always conveniently off training somewhere when they're being held! Do you know how much red tape I have to go through every time you get yourself involved in a B-rank situation? Much less an A-rank!?"

Jiraiya snickered, this wasn't about red tape, it was about getting an edge over the village elders.

Naruto dipped his head a little bit, "It's not my fault I'm never around."

Tsunade sighed, "I know. Between Orochimaru interrupting your first exam and your training since then, you just haven't had a chance to get it over with." She muttered into her hands, "At least Jounin we can take care of on our own time…"

"You're going to promote me to Jounin!!" Naruto practically shouted, grinning as wide as his face would let him.

"No, no, don't get worked up," she sighed, "I'm only allowed to promote again once you've served as a chunin for a minimum of a year and successfully completed at least twenty missions as a team leader. Then I put you through some tests and what not. It doesn't really matter for now."

There was a silence in the room as they tried to figure out what was to come next.

"So," Tsunade said with a start, "You'll be leaving for Suna first thing tomorrow morning. The exam starts in five days, so that should give you about a day to get settled in before the exam."

Well this was a bit different. He had half expected the exam to be held in Konoha, like it had been when he took it with Sakura and Sasuke. Come to think of it…

"Hey, Baa-chan? Don't I need two teammates to enter with me?"

Tsunade, who had taken back to her paperwork, looked back up at him, "Actually, that reminds me…" her voice trailed off as she went rummaging through her drawer again, before producing another piece of paper, "Rules vary from village to village. In Suna, their rules allow you to compete in groups of two or three. I… had to pull some strings for you."

"So… what does that mean?"

"Well," Tsunade bit her lip, she knew this was going to be a mistake, but maybe… "Moegi and Udon aren't ready for a chunin exam, that much Ebisu and I could agree on…"

Realization spread across Naruto's face, "So I'm–"

"Konohamaru, on the other hand, I think has a shot at it. At the least it will give him a chance to learn something worthwhile from you, instead of just those perverted jutsus…"

"Konohamaru's my teammate!?" Naruto was ecstatic, he couldn't have asked for anyone better, or at least of those who hadn't passed yet.

"Ebisu wasn't happy; he didn't want to break up their team, but he'll get over it." Tsunade anxiously shuffled the papers around on her desk, "Now I guess… your father and I have some business to, uh," she hesitated, "sort out."

Naruto nodded as he turned to head toward the door,

"Would it be okay if he and I discussed this privately?"

Jiraiya said nothing as he turned to follow his grandson out the door. Out in the hallway, Naruto nodded at his father as he passed. That look on his face, that sad frown – was it sorrow? Disappointment?

* * *

He hadn't realized just how busy the streets of Konoha could be. After having spent the last few weeks in a small, out of the way town, it was almost surprising how many people came and went along the busy city streets.

He was beginning to get an appreciation for why Shikamaru liked to lay around and watch the clouds drifting about. Clouds moved too slow for him, but crowds, they were a whole lot more interesting. _'Sexier too,'_ Naruto thought to himself as caught sight of Sakura rounding a corner on to the main street, _'Just a little bit closer…'_

He slipped a copy of his seal under the bench as he stood up. He was going to have to play this one carefully, fulfilling his obligation to the one hit rule here could be lethal, but if he did this just right…

"Hey! Sakura!" he waved as he ran over to her.

She turned, catching sight of him as he ran towards her. She waved, "Hey! Did you just get back?"

He caught up to her, "Yeah, actually."

She paused a moment, "Er, where did you go, anyway? I didn't hear any talk from Tsunade about you being on a mission."

He though about it for a second, "Look, if I tell you, can you promise to keep it absolutely secret?"

Hesitantly, she nodded, "Yeah, okay."

He sighed, "I was looking for the Fourth. We found him."

Sakura was looking skeptical, "…What do you mean? Didn't the Yondaime die sealing the Kyuubi?"

Naruto grinned, "Long story, but dad survived, went into seclusion."

"Wait, hold on," Sakura threw up her hands, "Who are we talking about here, the Fourth or your…" Realization blossomed across her face, "No, no way, _the Fourth_ was your…"

He grinned, "Yup, and he came back with us, but we have to keep it quiet. It could be trouble if the wrong people found out."

"Alright," as much as she wanted to know more about the return of one of the greatest heroes the village had ever known, if it was as dangerous as Naruto said it was, it would be better to leave it be. Naruto on the other hand…

"Do you want to see the new Jutsu he taught me?"

Something just didn't feel right, but she couldn't put her finger on just what it could be, "Alright, let's see it,"

The echoing _crack! _could be heard for blocks around as Naruto smacked Sakura hard on the ass. All seemed to go quiet in the aftermath.

"_You perverted son of a bitch!!_" She swung, but it didn't connect.

"Oi! Sakura! You missed!" he shouted, waving at her from behind the bench, grinning.

"Bastard! I'll teach you to run from me!"

The smile melted off his face as Sakura closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye. A solitary thought went through his mind as Sakura's punch connected squarely with his jaw, or perhaps it was the fist itself. With the extraordinary amount of pain, it certainly would have been a possibility.

Naruto rocketed backwards before slamming full force into a tree and slumping over amongst its roots.

Sakura stormed away as Naruto slowly made his way up on to his wobbly feet. Stealing a quick glance behind him, he saw that the tree he had been hurled against was fractured along the middle and leaning at a sharp angle toward him.

'_Heh,'_ he chuckled to himself, _'so she really did hold back…'_

"Naruto!"

He glanced lazily off in the direction of the voice, his senses still slow to recover after the hit; he couldn't quite make out who it was.

"Why'd you let her hit you boss? You could have ducked that!"

His vision was finally coming back in to focus, "Konohamaru?" He steadied himself against the tree, "Long time no see! Where'd you come from?"

Konohamaru rushed over to him, "Why didn't you dodge it, boss?"

Naruto smiled, "Pervert law, I'll explain later. What are you doing here?"

"Tsunade sent for me. Ebisu-Sensei said something about a mission. He didn't look to happy about it for some reason." Konohamaru cracked a grin, "That can only be a good thing, right?"

He laughed, "That depends on the mission, but if it's the one I think it is, Ebisu has a good reason for not being happy about it. You and I are headed to Suna."

His eyes lit up, "I'm going on a mission with _you_!? No wonder sensei was pissed!"

Naruto nodded, "Baa-chan will tell you the rest, just meet me at the village gate at sunrise."

"Ossu!" Konohamaru snapped a sharp salute and ran off toward the Hokage tower at double speed.

* * *

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Yes sir, there's no doubt about it." The ANBU was down on one knee in front of a shadowed figure. The musty air of the cave-like room seemed to seep into everything.

"What confirmation do you have?"

"Sir, #413 saw him transform not far from the village while she was on patrol, and #228 overheard one Naruto Uzumaki confirming to one Sakura Haruna that he is in fact in the village."

"Interesting," The shadowy figure scratched his chin, "It's never wise to have a former hokage as an enemy, much less two, but this information could just be the fuel I need to gather support."

"Do you have any orders, sir?"

He grinned, "In due time. For now though, we wait. The demon fox is scheduled to leave the village tomorrow morning for some time, so we'll have to be sure to take action while he's gone. Inform the village elders that I have need of an urgent meeting with them. See to it that Tsunade knows nothing of this."

"Yes, sir," In a flash, the agent was gone.

Danzo cackled in the darkness of the room. Soon, his time would be coming very soon.

* * *

Okay, again, sorry that took so long to come up with. I know the whole "sending Naruto to a Chunnin exam" thing is a bit overplayed in Naruto FF, and really I'm only planning to use it as a bit of a spring board for part two, though perhaps I'm saying too much. All I'll say for now is how this chuunin section of the story goes will be based off of your responses to it.


	13. The Beginning of the End

Well, what can I say other than what I always say? I'm sorry that took so long, I really didn't realize how long it had been since I posted a new chapter. I honestly thought I had gotten one to all of you in late January. Alas, it was late December. I'll try to make it up to you all with the next chapter. I'm in a writing mood and I think I know what I want to do with the next one. Until then, enjoy it!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

Gen'rals gathered in their masses,

Just like witches at black masses

Evil minds that plot destruction,

Sorcerer of death's construction

-Black Sabbath, War Pigs

Chapter 13: The Beginning of the End

"So, remind me why I'm here again. Do you really need me to see you off before your mission?" Jiraiya rubbed his eyes, sitting down against the inside of the village gate. The sun was peeking over the distant horizon, but just barely. It was hardly enough to even classify it as a sunrise. _'Stupid bastard, waking an old man before sun up…'_

"I told you," Naruto cut back, "Ebisu doesn't really teach Konohamaru any good jutsu, and I want to set him up to learn a new one before we head out to the exam."

"But why do you need _me_ for that?"

"Well, I've been teaching him all of my jutsu so I figured I'd… Hey! There he is!"

How he could make out that kid's brown bobbing head as it appeared over the crest of the hill, Jiraiya couldn't quite tell, but none the less, there the little bastard was, running at full clip right towards them.

"Naruto nii-chan!" He waved, yelling excitedly as he got closer, "Why didn't you tell me we were going to the chuunin exam!?"

Naruto grinned, "Well, I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Speaking of surprises, I've got a new jutsu to teach you." He glanced down at the hermit, who had fallen asleep, "Oy!" He kicked him in the leg.

"Wha– ? …Oh, right." He massaged his face, "What do you need me to do?

He turned his attention back to Konohamaru, "Has anyone taught you the summoning jutsu yet?"

Konohamaru thought for a minute, "Ebisu-sensei refused and said I should wait until I'm older, but uncle Asuma said he would teach me to call monkeys right before his last mission, but, well…" he trailed off, "He did teach me the technique before he died, but he said he needed to find some scroll or something before it would work."

"Well, that puts us ahead of where I thought we'd be!" Naruto said brightly, "What do you say to frogs?"

His reaction was a bit mixed, "Um," he hesitated, "if you think it's a good idea, boss…"

Naruto just smiled, "Trust me!" He looked back to Jiraiya, "Do you have the…_OY!!_" he kicked him again.

"Dammit, stop that!" he flinched, "Either tell me what you want or let me go home and sleep!"

"The frog scroll!" Naruto was a bit miffed that his mentor hadn't figured it out yet, never mind how early it was.

Jiraiya struggled to his feet, "Son of a bitch…" he glared at him through one half-open eye, "You could have just asked me for it back at my place, saved me the fuckin' trouble…" his voice trailed off into a series of grunts as he bit his finger and started making seals. He slapped his hand down on the ground with a puff of smoke.

As the haze cleared, it revealed a medium size frog with a large scroll in its mouth. Foregoing the gentle touch, he yanked the scroll out of the frogs mouth and jammed it into Naruto's arms, "When you're done, give it back to him. He'll know what to do with it. Good luck with your exam, and don't expect any more favors when you get back." He mumbled something else unintelligible as he shuffled off into the dwindling twilight, no doubt headed back to sleep.

Naruto just stared off into the distance for a few moments, watching Jiraiya meander down the road, "…Right, well," he snapped back to his thoughts, "Let's do this then. Bite your thumb and write your name in the next open space with your blood, then your fingerprints in the same way." Naruto unrolled the scroll a bit, revealing the last few signatures, including his, his fathers, and Jiraiya's.

Konohamaru did as he said, first signing his name, then pressing his fingers to the paper, "Is that it?"

"Yup!" Naruto smiled, rolling up the scroll and handing it back to the frog, "Welcome to the family of frog summoners!"

Konohamaru grinned, "Who are some good ones to summon?"

Naruto chuckled as he pulled open the front gate, "Oh, I'll introduce you to a few…"

* * *

Water dripped from the moss covered ceiling. Danzo scowled, if there was one thing he hated about his involvement with Root, it's that he had to base it out of a god damn cave. Soon though, he'd be moving up in the world, and he wouldn't need to meet his agents in this musty hell. He smiled. No, it wouldn't be long.

"So, I heard you found out about me," a voice behind him.

He didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Number 214 had tipped him off that he was coming. Of course, he knew he would show up eventually. It was only a question of when.

"I'm glad you've decided to show up, Fourth. I've been wanting to have a chat with you since you arrived in the village yesterday."

Minato glared at him, "I'm here to give you a warning," he ground his teeth, "I'm content to just go on quietly living here with my son, but if you try anything to throw this village into a panic, I will personally–"

"Personally what?" Danzo cut him off. He glanced over his shoulder, "My dear man, I'm no fool. I'm an old cripple now, what chance would I stand against you of all people in a fight?" He hesitated, "…But still, should you wish to try something, remember this: my Root agents are hidden all across the village. If I were to be killed, they have standing orders to burn this precious town of yours down to a cinder."

"You scheming son of a bitch…"

"No," Danzo turned his head back, "No schemes. I'd much rather wait for my time. When Tsunade-hime finally pushes it too far, I'll merely play my politics and hope for the best."

Minato flashed in front of him, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him off the ground, "What the hell are you planning!?"

Danzo smirked, "No plans, Hokage-sama, only politics."

Minato growled at him.

"I'd very much prefer it if you put me down now, and go warn Tsunade-hime before she does something rash, as I know you plan to."

Angered, he dropped the old man in a heap and headed for the cave exit.

Quietly, Danzo picked himself up and brushed away the dirt from his robes. Yes, it would be very soon alright. All he needed to do was wait.

* * *

"Passes please."

"Passes?"

The guard rolled his tired eyes. He hated dealing with stupid people; it was so troublesome, "Look, to get in to the village, you have to have your exam pass. There are a lot of strange nins coming and going. For security reasons, everyone has to have a valid pass. Either show me your passes or go home."

"But…Hokage-sama didn't give us any! Can't you just let us in?!"

They had finally made it to Suna and they couldn't even get by the god damn village gate. To Konohamaru, it just seemed so…typical of Naruto to loose their only way in to the city. He sighed, _'This exam is doomed from the start.'_

"But…but…I'm a good friend of the Kazekage!" he pleaded, waving his arms about wildly, "Go find Gaara, he'll vouch for me!"

'_As if I haven't heard that one a thousand times today…' _The guard turned his eyes to the sky as he reached back to fidget with his ponytail, "Look, you either have a pass or don't. You don't have a pass, so you go… _Kazekage sama!_"

A soft breeze ran past Naruto's face as he whipped around, just in time to see Gaara materializing in the form of a sand clone.

"Let them through. Naruto and his friend are special guests. They are to have the finest accommodations in the city. See to it personally."

"Right, right," the gatekeeper mumbled, "I'll do that."

The sand clone turned to Naruto and Konohamaru, "I'm glad you could make it. Don't expect any more help during the exam."

Before Naruto could so much as say thank you, the pillar of sand collapsed, devoid of life.

"Boss," Konohamaru had gone pale, "is he always that scary?"

Naruto put on a nervous grin, "Y…yeah. He kind of is."

The guard mumbled as he turned to lead them in, "At least the creepy bastard likes you…"

* * *

_CRASH!!_

There was a soft tinkling like wind chimes as shards of glass rained to the ground, followed by a sickening _THWACK_ as a body landed in the dirt street. Pedestrians gathered around quickly, forming a near mob. The cacophony of voices grew with the crowd – some tending to the woman who had just come crashing back to earth, others squabbling loudly about the new hole in the plate glass window overlooking the city.

Tsunade took two steps forward, looking down on the crowd from the new hole in her office window. She scowled, who the hell did that bitch think she was?

"Tsunade-sama, what did you…"

"Be _QUIET_ Shizune, if you know what's good for you!" she snapped, "_YOU!!_" she roared from the open window, "Who the _hell _do you think you are that you would _dare_ talk to me like that!?"

The woman – cut, battered, bloodied and panic stricken – struggled to get the words out, "B-but, Hokage-sama, p-please!" She stuttered, "I just…I j-just n-need some more time!"

Tsunade furrowed her brow, "What?" She jumped to the lower roof and then down to street level before walking over to the woman. The crowd on either side made a gap in an instant, fearing to be her next victim. "What are you lying about this time?" She picked the woman up by the throat, choking her.

"Hokage-sama…" she grinned, ever so slightly, "they…they… were too… weak… to live."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes before ramming her fist into the woman's face, and then slamming her to the ground by the throat, "How _DARE_ you!?" She let go of the woman and spun around, disgusted, "Leave my village. Now. If I _ever_ see you again I will kill you on the spot." She spat, "You should consider yourself lucky, I'm in a charitable mood."

Without another word she stormed back up to the Hokage office, the crowd of villagers fleeing in her wake.

Several blocks away, Danzo retreated into an alleyway, headed back toward his cave. _'What a fine performance,' _he mused to himself, _'Number 483 did a superb job.'_

* * *

Naruto was impressed. Gaara didn't hold back when he said he would get them the finest accommodations in the city. The room itself was enormous, almost twice as large as his apartment back home, not to mention that almost every surface was lined in red velvet. Each window was draped in the lavish red fabric, tied back with golden rope, revealing an oversized ledge beneath each window, just long enough to stretch out on. The walls, all made of sandstone, were absolutely covered in tapestries and art. One would be at a loss to find a hard surface, as almost everything was padded with thick, plush pillows, thrown everywhere around the room. The couch itself could have qualified as a bed. When he had first gone to sit down on it, Naruto had sunken so deeply into the sea of cushioning he had needed Konohamaru's help to pull him out.

"Why the hell can't my friends be as cool as yours are!" Konohamaru whined.

Naruto just laughed, "I guess you could say I did him a favor a while back," he sighed, "I was the first real friend he had that actually understood him, and he's been paying me back in spades for it since then."

Konohamaru just mumbled about something, kicking at the non-existent dirt, "So, when are you going to teach me about some of these frogs? You told me you were going to introduce me to some before we left."

"Er," he paused, "about that,"

Konohamaru rolled his eyes. He knew there had to be some kind of excuse.

"Well, we're in the desert," he began, "and frogs kind of prefer wet environments. If the first time you met them you summoned them here…well, it wouldn't go well."

He sighed; leave it to Naruto to teach him a cool technique he couldn't use until _after_ he would need it, "So what do I do until the exam tomorrow?"

Naruto, whose hand was already on the door knob, turned around, "Well, just practice your chakra control or something," he shrugged, "Make some clones, meditate, I don't know. Why don't you figure something out? Tomorrow's a big day, so don't work too hard."

"And what about you?"

"I'm off to gather information."

As Naruto shut the door behind him, Konohamaru grunted in frustration. If he was going to learn everything Jiraiya taught Naruto, he'd be better off learning directly from Jiraiya himself. At least _he_ wouldn't just leave him to figure things out on his own. With another grunt Konohamaru set to work.

* * *

"What the _HELL_ were you thinking!? Did you remember _anything_ of the warning I gave you!?" The man with the blond hair and blue eyes yelled at her, "This was _exactly_ what I was trying to warn you about!"

"I'm sorry, I just…lost it when she started talking about Nawaki and Dan like that," Tsunade was back at her desk now, the draft from the broken window causing her papers to flutter about the room as she averted her gaze away from the fourth. Perhaps as an attempt to hide her humiliation, she had turned off the light when she came back to the office. Now the only source of illumination was the full moon lingering just above the village walls outside.

She was trying desperately to grapple with the idea that half the village had watched her throw what appeared to be an innocent woman through a plate glass window before following her down to finish what gravity had started.

"Do you think there's anything I can do?"

Shizune dared to speak up, "Not likely…Tsunade-sama."

"Right now, just four rooms down the hall from us, Danzo is holding an emergency conference with the elders." Minato shook his head, "You set his plan in motion. If we fight back, he's threatened to destroy all of Konoha," He stepped over to look out the window at the village below, "We don't know how true his claim is, so for now, we have to assume he can."

"So what do you suggest then? Just step down and let him take over without a word?"

"For now, yes," He glanced over at her, "The safest thing for now is to bide our time and wait for the best opportunity to strike back."

Tsunade ground her teeth in frustration, before smashing her desk in half.

Minato turned his attentions back to the window, "They're on their way down the hallway now. If they try to arrest you, make a run for the village gate. If things turn bad, I'll get you out. Either way, I'll meet you at a tea house a few miles west of the village to regroup. Now, I must be going before my presence complicates the situation any more."

No sooner had he disappeared then there was a sharp knock at the door. Without waiting for her to call out, the door opened. Spilling inside were the village elders, followed by Danzo and six of his ANBU agents.

"Homura? Koharu? Danzo?" She gritted her teeth, forcing a smile, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Koharu scowled, "You know damn well what this is about!"

Tsunade glared at her, waiting for the next member of the group to intrude their will against her.

"You're reckless, you're violent, and you're a danger to this village." Homura stepped forward, "And your stunt just now, we both know wasn't your first act of aggression towards the inhabitants of this village. We tolerated it when you abused you're subordinates, with the hope that it would at least help them shape up in the face of failure, but now…"

"Excuse me?"

"Now," he talked over her, "we can _not_ stand by when your abusive behaviors spill into brutalizing ordinary citizens!"

This is why she hated them. They didn't trust her. Granted, she never gave them a good reason to, but it was more than that, really. They didn't consult her on anything, they refused to hear her side of the argument, they tried to undermine every action she took, and of course, talked down to her like she was some kind of god damn child begging the almighty sages for their heavenly wisdom.

"Did you ever stop to consider that just maybe you had it wrong?"

"Of course not! How could we have gotten it wrong!? You assaulted an innocent woman!"

Tsunade clenched her hands tightly by her side, straining so hard that one of her nails drew blood from her palm. As the warmth trickled out of her fist, she reminded herself of what the fourth had warned her. For the sake of the village, she had to bite her tongue and let all of this play out.

"So what now then?" She strained through gritted teeth, "Are you implying I should step down?"

Koharu nodded, "That would be ideal. Danzo has come forward to offer his services to the village until we can find a more suitable replacement."

"That bastard thinks he's fit to run this village?"

"At least _I_ won't harass the commoners." He scoffed, "even if I turn out to be a poor leader, _anything_ is better than a tyrant."

On any other day… "So, what's my future in all this?"

"Your future is not of our concern." Danzo tapped his staff on the ground, "For your prior service to the village, we wouldn't dream of executing or imprisoning you-"

"Well isn't that fucking generous."

"-However," he butted back in, "it would be appreciated if you left the village permanently."

Tsunade bit her lip; her frustration couldn't build any more. She had to destroy something, and the source of all her problems just so happened to be within lunging distance. But to strangle the forbidden fruit, she knew wasn't an option. She no longer cared what happened to her, but she had to remember the village. Through it all, that was her job – to ensure the village didn't burn.

"Now before our former hokage is on her way, I'd hope to get a private word with her." Danzo glanced back at the worried faces of the village elders, before returning his gaze to the front, "I'm sure we can be civil about this, can't we Tsunade-hime?"

Hesitantly, Homura and Koharu nodded before leaving the room.

The door shut with a soft click as the two pulled it shut behind them. The six ANBU stayed behind, lined along the circular walls.

"Now, as the new Hokage, I am obligated thank you for your service to the village but-"

"Fuck yourself."

"Oh?" Danzo took a few steps closer toward Tsunade, "Now I must insist you show respect to your new leader."

"Choke on it," she sneered, "You just banished me, what makes you think I owe you any courtesies?" she clenched her fists at her sides.

He chuckled "What's this? The great Tsunade-Hime is all bark and no bite? Have my earlier threats domesticated you so easily?" Danzo tapped the map on the wall with his staff, "The village, my dear. Now that I have complete control, I could have it destroyed with one simple command. Not that I want to, of course." He shook his head, "What a waste, what a waste."

"So why are you doing it?"

Danzo sighed, "You really intend for me to monologue on my plans?" He sneered, "I'd much rather not, but if it will encourage you to stay away… It's for our honor, something you wouldn't understand." He shuffled over to Tsunade's broken desk, sitting down in the chair behind it, "For generations, we have fought wars with our neighbor nations. All we ever get out of them is a mountain of bodies. It is time we reclaim our honor as the dominant power in this world."

"You _idiot_!" Tsunade raved, "If you want revenge for the dead, then what will creating a _new_ mountain of bodies accomplish?"

"Oh?" he leaned forward on his cane, "And what if I told you I could raise an army that would never die?"

Tsunade was silent, leering at Danzo.

He scoffed at her, "I don't wish to bother with the details, but my soldiers can not be killed because they are already dead." He stood up and started pacing the room, "You see, when that vile snake you called a teammate fled the village all those years ago, he didn't have time to collect everything. He left behind a journal with his notes, you see. Orochimaru, it turned out, was on the brink of discovering how to reanimate dead bodies with the souls of other deceased." He paused, turning to her, "I finished that technique of his, or rather a few members of my team did, when they witnessed the final version during his last attack on the village" he waved his hand about, "Anyway, the story ends with me quietly recruiting exactly five hundred villagers, one at a time, and reanimating them with the souls of soldiers long dead. Now my undead army continues to live secretly with the families their bodies left behind, hidden and scattered across our village."

Tsunade's eyes went wide, "You mean to tell me you kidnapped and murdered hundreds of civilians, just to build your private army!?"

Danzo harrumphed, "You're disgusted, as I assumed you would be. It's only because you don't understand the sacrifices necessary to protect this village."

"You murdered hundreds of villagers!" She yelled at him, "How is that an acceptable sacrifice!?"

"I've explained it to you once, and I really don't want to explain it again," he scoffed, "Five hundred commoners sacrificed their lives for the village. Five hundred highly trained soldiers were reborn in their place. Not one single grave had to be dug in the exchange."

"You're fucking insane! The population in the village may not have changed, but you still had to kill innocent people to do it!!"

Tsunade couldn't contain her rage any longer. She leapt at him, swinging a right hook. Before she could connect, seven ANBU were on her, restraining her arms, legs, head, and the rest of her body.

"_Another time,"_ one of them whispered in her ear.

"Yes, another time indeed," Danzo smiled, "I'll have you know, Hokage-sama, that I am still perfectly able to count. Now, would you kindly escort your mother out of the village?" He turned to face away from them, "I'll be sporting, and give you a full day before I list the two of you as missing-nin. I suggest you use it to hide as best you can. _My_ agents don't attempt for a live capture of fugitives."

Tsunade snarled at him, but before she could say anything else, she was gone, along with the yellow-haired ANBU imposter.

* * *

It had been several hours, and Tsunade had barely said a word. Once she was separated from Danzo, it had all just sunken in. She just slumped to the floor in the corner and didn't say a word. Dim, yellow light flickered across the walls from the candles spread sparsely across the room.

An old man, the owner of the teashop, had brought up a cup of jasmine tea for her to sip on, hoping it would help his new patron calm her nerves. He had seen that look on too many faces over his years. That shock, that horror, that overwhelming sadness, it was the look refugees always seemed to carry with them. Their home burned, their loved ones struck down, it never got easier, seeing them that way.

Tsunade sat silently against the wall, grasping at a necklace that was no longer there, lost in a bet, remembering its bloody past. Nawaki was innocent, just a kid when he died. Too young. Dan, too, shouldn't have had to make that sacrifice. They had both known, as soldiers, the dangers they might face, the fate they would one day have to come to terms with. But it came too soon. The heartache was too much to bear. She could keep it to herself, but that was no longer an option. In order to save more innocent lives, a full five hundred more families would have to feel the same loss. It was one thing to face inevitability when you knew the ones you cared about went into harms way on a daily basis, knowing they might not come back, but for civilians…

Her tea sat discarded, cold, off to the side. She hadn't touched it. The necklace still wasn't there.

There was a soft tap at the door before it gave way to the visitor on the other side. Jiraiya poked his head in through the door, before sliding it open the rest of the way.

"Any plan of action?" he asked as he sat down beside her, "Or do you plan to keep crying about it all night?"

"Of course not!" she roared, punching him in the stomach.

Jiraiya grunted as he doubled over, the unfortunate victim of her pent up rage. She hadn't hit him full force, but she hadn't exactly tried to hold back.

"Tsunade," Minato snapped at her from the far wall, "Don't take this out on him!"

"…sorry," she mumbled as she buried her face in her arms again.

Jiraiya struggled to his feet, wincing at the pain, "Alright," he groaned, "I know Danzo may have killed all those people, but we really do have to do something about him before it's too late."

"Like what!?" she shot back, "You know as well as I do that we're in a corner here! If I take him down, I have to take out his army! That means hundreds of innocent people that won't be going home to their families! If I let him get away with it, he's vowed to start a goddamn war! What the _fuck_ do you think I _should_ do!?"

Minato sighed, "I told you before, we have to wait for the right time to–"

"And then what!?" She was on her feet again, across the room and in his face, "If I wait, people die, if I attack, people die! How the hell does waiting help me!?"

He took a deep breath, doing his best to hold back his own frustrations, "People will die, no matter what we do. Our job now is to keep the death to a minimum. If we attack too soon, and we get discovered, the village, and everyone in it, will be destroyed. If we wait too long, war will break out and other uninvolved countries will be dragged into this mess. We need to wait until we can think of a way to quietly take down his supposed invincible army without being caught. Being hunted as traitors doesn't make our task any easier either, but I know a few places we can hide out in the mean time."

Tsunade backed off, thinking for a moment, "Jiraiya, didn't the third take down some of these zombie soldiers? You know, when he fought Orochimaru?"

Jiraiya nodded, "Yeah, he resurrected the First and the Second. Had to resort to self sacrifice to seal them away. Tried to get that snake bastard with it too, but he didn't have enough strength."

She dipped her head, that plan was out of the question. No way she could ask five hundred more to sacrifice their lives. Again, she drifted off deep into thought.

There was silence for a few moments before there was another tap on the open door frame. Kakashi gave a little wave as he entered the room, "Sorry I'm late, I had to go back for the pig!"

"That son of a bitch was going to eat Ton-ton you heartless bastard!"

For the first time in more than a day, Tsunade smiled. At least Kakashi had been able to get Shizune out. She recognized her voice before she even made it through the door.

"Apologize to Ton-ton! You hurt her feelings!" She thrust the pig into Kakashi's face as she chased him through the door, "Oh?" She caught sight of Tsunade rolling her eyes in the far corner, "Tsunade-sama! Are you okay?"

Her expression went back to the same stern look she usually gave off, "I'll survive. What's your report?"

Kakashi stood at attention, "I was able to spread word of the coup to the other jounin, and they said they would pass the word on to their students. They're all with us. Only Hizashi refused, because he didn't want to get his house involved in village politics. Hinata promised me later though that she and Neji would side with us when the time comes."

"What about Naruto?"

"Left yesterday morning for the exam, remember? He should just about be in Suna by now. I can have the frogs reverse summon him here."

"But," Shizune cut in, "didn't Konohamaru go with him? Can the frogs summon him too?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "And here I thought that stupid bastard woke me up for no reason…"

He had the attention of everyone in the room. "What the hell are you talking about?" Tsunade growled at him.

"The frog scroll!" he laughed, "On the morning we left he woke me up so Konohamaru could sign on with the frogs! Because of that, reverse summoning the little punk won't be any trouble either!"

"Well what are you waiting for!?" Shizune shouted at him.

"No," Tsunade cut her off, "As long as he's under Gaara's protection, he'll be fine. Besides…" she smiled, "he'd be pissed if his second exam were interrupted too."

* * *

Okay all, there it was. Sorry about all the rambling that goes on in this chapter. I didn't really want to have Danzo do as much monologuing as he did, but really I couldn't think of a better way of doing it. It was either monologue or find some kind of written document and this seemed to fit a little better. That, and Danzo seems like the type to really lord it over Tsunade that he finally got what he feels he deserves and that he'd have to fix her mistakes or something. I hope this all wasn't too far fetched either. It's a little different from how I had originally planed it, but Narutomaniac brought up a few good points and I think the story is going to come out stronger for it.

Schoolwork comes first, naturally, but barring that, I'll try to get another chapter up soon to make up for how long this one took. Hope you enjoyed it!


	14. Hunter Gatherer

Okay everyone, I know what you're thinking: "Where the hell have you been you lazy bastard!?" The answer is college. I started the first two pages of this chapter back in March, but then college intervened. Between a series of tests, papers, exams and more exams, I couldn't even get back to writing until mid-May. Of course, that still leaves two and a half months unaccounted for. This is because I cursed myself, or so I would like to believe. I decided one day that I had a great idea for an epigraph for the next chapter, wrote it down, and then decided to just go ahead and start laying out everything for the next chapter. Big mistake. I never NEVER start work on another chapter until the present one is done. I broke tradition, and with it, cursed myself to a strange variant of writer's block. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen and how, I just couldn't find the right words. I could get out maybe a sentence or two a day. This finally gave way about two weeks ago and I scrambled to get down everything I could, and here we have it.

Enjoy it!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,

And long ago somebody left with the cup.

But he's striving and driving and hugging the turns,

And thinking of someone for whom he still burns.

Cause he's going the distance.

-Cake, Going the Distance

Chapter 14: Hunter Gatherer

It was a damn shame. Naruto looked down at his now empty frog wallet as he walked out of the bar.

'_I'm sorry, buddy,'_ he thought to himself as he tucked it away and released his henge jutsu. It had taken him a few tries until he realized he would need to modify his appearance to get information. The bartenders wouldn't even let him through the door as a kid, much less would anyone talk to him.

Most of his money had gone to bribe some information out of a sand nin about the exam. As it turned out, what he knew about the actual exam itself was very little. Gaara was keeping most of it under wraps, even from his own people.

But there was an exception.

She had been a good head taller than he was (even as his transformed, taller self) with messy blond hair sticking out at all directions and a face full of warts so terrifying it could make babies cry. Her teeth _'Oh god, those horrible, mangled brown teeth'_ looked like she had spent her childhood (and perhaps a good portion of her adult life) chewing on rocks.

The thought of her sent a shiver down his spine, but it was the fact that he had promised this goblin of a woman a date that made him want to kill himself. It was odd, he thought, that she didn't want money for her information. He had been given little of the promised knowledge at the time, only that "It's something you'll need to know to pass the exam". She wouldn't tell him anything else just yet.

He shrugged as he made his way down the dim streets. The sun had set a few hours ago over the high sand walls surrounding the city, now the only light came from the windows of the buildings he passed. He had been surprised at first at the lack of street lights in the immediate area, but as he walked he came to realize that without many clouds in the sky overhead, the moonlight was more than enough.

As Naruto reached the front of his hotel, he looked up and spotted the light on in what he assumed to be his room. _'Konohamaru must be waiting for me'_

He crossed silently through the front lobby, nodding at the man running the front desk before shuffling up the stairs to his floor. His feet dragged behind him, tired as he reached for the door to his room. This wasn't any state he wanted to be in tomorrow when the test started. If he could get to sleep in the next few minutes…

"Where the hell have you been!?"

God damnit. He had barely gotten the door open and Konohamaru was already on his case.

"Hunting for some info," He mumbled, trying to ignore Konohamaru as he shuffled in the general direction of his bedroom.

"Well, did you find anything?" Konohamaru was almost bouncing off the walls with energy, "I've been sitting here all day without the first clue of how to prepare for tomorrow!"

"I told you," he grumbled, "Just meditate or something. Best thing you can do… concentrate… be calm. Ready for tomorrow, all your practice so far… important. No such… cramming for ninja exams…" Sentences were too much effort, he was too tired.

"But did you find out anything about the exam?" The little bastard just wouldn't shut up and let him sleep.

Naruto took a heavy sigh as he reached for the doorknob that would lead him to the sweet release of sleep, he glanced over his shoulder, making weak eye contact with the kid, "No, ugly girl said maybe we'd see'f she true later."

And with that he slammed the door behind him, leaving Konohamaru vexed as to just what the hell Naruto had tried to say. Deciding it wasn't important right now, he shrugged and headed for his own room. He had already lost enough sleep waiting for him to come back and share what he had found, wasting any more would be pointless. He'd just have to find out about it in the morning.

* * *

"Hey!"

Naruto rolled onto his side, trying to get away from the assault on his ears.

"Wake up! We're going to be late!"

Why did he have to wake up? Hadn't he just gone to sleep? He grunted as he covered his head with a pillow.

'_Fine, have it your way…' _Konohamaru frowned as he grabbed the vase off the nightstand and upended the contents – flowers and muddy water alike – onto Naruto's head.

"Muh?" He opened one eye halfway before closing it again and rolling over to the dry side of the bed, "Jus lemme sleep bit more."

"_OY!_" Konohamaru broke the vase against the side of Naruto's face in one swift down stroke.

Naruto sat up with a bolt, grasping the side of his head and wincing in pain, "Fucking hell! What was that for!?"

"Get your shit and move! We have to be at the opening ceremony in eight minutes or we forfeit!"

Naruto hopped out of bed, grabbing his cloak and threw it over the wrinkled set of clothes he had fallen asleep in, "Why the hell didn't you say that!"

Konohamaru rolled his eyes as he followed him out of the room and through the common area where Naruto jammed a few slices of cold toast into his face from the tray room service had brought up earlier that morning. Just as quickly he dashed out the front door with Konohamaru hot on his heels carrying the weapons Naruto had hastily left discarded in the corner of the room.

* * *

The ninja Gaara had appointed to call roll was just beginning to check off names as Naruto and Konohamaru hopped from the last rooftop to the collected group on top of Gaara's office. Catching sight of the two he sighed as he glanced over at Gaara, who nodded at him in return.

"Name and village?"

"Naruto and Konohamaru," he choked out between hurried breaths, "from Konoha."

The ninja with the checklist sighed, "Tardiness is inexcusable from a chuunin. You had better loose this habit or you will become a disgrace of a ninja."

He turned to move to the next group, but spun back on his heels when he heard Naruto burst into laughter, "I'm sorry," he spat, "did I say something funny? Do you find dishonorable behavior amusing?"

Naruto was laughing too hard to reply, Konohamaru filled in, "You've never met Kakashi-sensei, have you?"

He scoffed as he moved to the next group.

Naruto collected himself just as Gaara began to speak from the front of the crowd:

"Those of you gathered here today know why you have come. Today we seek to hold the first chuunin exam in Suna since the passing of the last Kazekage. Rules of the exam vary by the village that is hosting it, so listen closely to ours.

"First, the exam will be divided into two parts, a practical skills exam and a combat exam. In the first part of the exam you will have three days to obtain five coded messages from five examiners. Upon collection of these five, you are to report to the Kazekage, myself, to deliver them. If you are captured, you fail the exam. If you do not deliver your intelligence before sundown on the third day, you fail the exam. If you intentionally kill an examiner, you will fail the exam and face trial here in our village.

"The second part of the exam, those of you who have taken an exam before will be familiar with. Only those of you who successfully deliver to me the messages you gather will be allowed to take part in the second part of the exam. This second part is a traditional tournament evaluation. You will be pitted against each other by lottery determination and your fighting prowess will be evaluated. In accordance with tradition, you do not need to win the tournament to be promoted by your village to a chuunin, however, it does afford you more chances to show off your abilities, and losses will of course reflect very negatively against you. Are there any questions?"

The crowd shuffled nervously. Things seemed very different, Naruto thought, compared to his last exam. Almost everyone here was new to the situation, or at most had only tried a handful of times. There were plenty of people who seemed confident enough to be trying again, but unlike when he had first taken it, he could tell there were no secret jounins or sound assassins mixed in with the crowd, not to mention the rookie nine.

"Um," someone in the back spoke up, "If one of our partners is caught, do we all fail?"

"Yes," Gaara said, very matter-of-factly, "Ninjas work as a team. If one member fails, the whole team fails."

Naruto could hear a murmur run through the crowd. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Konohamaru stealing a nervous glance up at him.

"How will we know who has the information we need?" Someone else asked.

"You won't."

"If we are discovered, but can get away, do we still fail?"

"That is a non-issue. If you are discovered, you will not escape capture."

"But if…"

"You will not escape capture," Gaara paused, "If you insist on the distinction, then yes, you only officially fail once you have been taken under captive custody."

A dead silence fell over the crowd. Naruto smirked, even after all this time softening up, Gaara could still intimidate anyone as well as he could three years ago. That cold, icy glare would never lose its edge.

"Then if there are no more questions, you will be granted a three minute head start on my guards. Begin."

With a flash, the teams disappeared, leaving Gaara standing alone with his personal escorts in a cloud of dust. He smiled as he tossed his formal robes to one of his aids. He was looking forward to hunting down examinees.

* * *

Naruto and Konohamaru had fled into a nearby bar to hide. Konohamaru had protested at first, insisting that they would be caught immediately regardless of the henge transformations they had each adopted. Naruto, now looking much like a younger, blonder version of Jiraiya assured Konohamaru that they would be better here than in some abandoned alleyway.

"Look," he said in a low gravely grumble, "That's a beginners mistake. Everyone will be thinking that, and what's more suspicious than two strangers hiding behind a trashcan in an alleyway? There'd be no point in transforming if we were going to try something stupid like that. Here we can pass as any old travelers and blend in with a crowd of unfamiliar faces."

"But we're trying to hide right in front of them! No way they won't catch us!" Konohamaru cut back, now looking like Ebisu with sunken eyes and a goatee.

"You think so? Jiraiya once told me that there was a secret to going undercover; specifically, the best place to hide a tree is in the forest. Observe…" Naruto lifted himself up from the table they were seated at and made his way to the front door, where a scuffle had broken out between a sand jounin and two kids. The jounin had the two by the back of their collars as the two were wrestling for freedom.

"Something going on here?" Naruto asked the man.

"Just started the chuunin exam, found these two hiding behind the dumpster out back," The man chuckled as the two tried to kick their way free.

"Just started?" Naruto hesitated, pretending to be surprised, "How long did they last?"

He smiled, "Eight minutes."

"Ha ha!" Naruto laughed, "Maybe next time they'll find somewhere better to hide!"

The jounin scoffed, "For their sake, I hope so. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go turn these two in."

"Oh, of course! Of course!" Naruto waved the man along his way, "And good luck with the rest of the exam!"

He turned and meandered his way back to the table, grining at Konohamaru as he took his seat again, "See?"

Konohamaru was in shock, "You crazy bastard!" He hissed through his teeth, "You could have gotten us caught!"

Naruto shifted his gaze around, "Remember what I said about not acting suspiciously? Talk normal, but talk quiet and always keep your cool. Trust me, Jiraiya told me a lot about how to go undercover."

"Fine," the boy mumbled, "but didn't he say anything about taking stupid risks?"

"…Fair enough," he hesitated, "but you let me worry about that. I need you to worry about how we get these code words."

"Whoa, why me?" Konohamaru waved his hands, "aren't you the leader?"

Naruto shook his head, "The whole point of a chuunin exam is to test your abilities to be an effective leader. I'll do my part and help, but if you want any chance to pass this exam, we have to convince Tsunade-sama that you would be able to lead a team."

Konohamaru harrumphed and crossed his arms. It made sense, but he'd be damned if it wasn't just because Naruto was being lazy again.

"So what's our plan," Naruto asked, "boss?"

* * *

They had been stalking this particular nin for almost an hour, watching his patterns, waiting for a chance to try and jump him. Of course, there was no guarantee that this particular chuunin knew anything useful, but as Konohamaru had put it: "Why the hell not? We have to start somewhere…"

The kid had laid out a decent plan for nabbing the guy, but he had neglected to plan out how they would get him to talk. _'Oh well,' _Naruto thought to himself, _'I'll let it be his first lesson.'_

The pair watched as the nin they had met at the front gate the day prior paced anxiously up and down the street, looking this way and that. It was this nervousness that, as Naruto had pointed out, made him look like he didn't want to be there. Something about him just didn't feel right, though.

Their target ducked into the alley and started rummaging through his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. Naruto looked to Konohamaru who nodded back at him. Silently, they dropped down and began creeping toward him. If they could do this just right…

"Either'a you guys got a light?" The nin mumbled as he patted his pockets in search of his lighter.

'_Fuck'_

Konohamaru glanced to Naruto, who shrugged. "Yeah," the older said, "If you don't mind helping us out too."

"Fair enough," the nin turned around, "Oh, it's _you_ two." He said with a hint of surprise in his voice, "Got that light?"

"Yeah," Konohamaru pulled an exploding tag out of his pocket and let the edge start to smolder, rubbing it out and tucking it away after their new friend lit his smoke.

"Look," The guy said, taking a drag, "I'm really supposed to fight you guys and give you a hard time for the info you need, but it isn't worth it, so how about I just tell you and we save ourselves the trouble?"

"Fine by us," Naruto crossed his arms, "What do you want in return?"

The nin smiled, "Just don't tell the boss and we'll call it square."

Naruto recognized this as dangerous territory; Jiraiya had always warned him about trusting people who didn't seem to want anything in return.

"How do I know this isn't a trick? You could be giving me bad information."

The nin shook his head, "I wouldn't do that. Your picture is on the wall in Kazekage-sama's office, he talks about you all the time. Way I see it, a friend of the boss is a friend of the village. If I help you, I help them," he smiled, "Though I wouldn't say no to a carton of smokes…"

Naruto waved a hand at Konohamaru, who in turn activated his henge and disappeared around a corner. "So, no interest in a fight then?"

The other guy laughed, "Like I said, Kazekage-sama talks about you. He says he's only been beaten twice, once by you, once by those Akatsuki bastards. And if my facts are straight, you're the one who rescued the boss," The nin tipped his cigarette at him, "If you can beat the boss _and_ the bastards who beat him, I'd say I don't stand much of a chance," He smiled, "Sound about right?"

'_Close enough,'_ Naruto thought, just as Konohamaru returned with a fresh carton of their new friend's favorite brand. He handed them over, the nin nodded his appreciation.

"So, can we get your name, so we know who we're dealing with?" Konohamaru prodded.

The nin took a drag as he shook his head, "I'd just as soon not, if it's all the same to you. Like I said, if the boss man found out I was helping examinees, he'd have my head."

"A nin with no name? How about a code name then?" Naruto thought for a moment, "Smoker?"

The other nin shrugged, "As long as this doesn't come back to bite me…"

"Alright then," Naruto chuckled, not knowing exactly why, "What can you tell us?"

"Trust."

"What about it?" Konohamaru asked.

"It's one of your five code words" Smoker knocked the ashes from his cigarette, "From what I gather, the five code words are all traits chuunins should have," He shook his head, "Kinda stupid if you ask me, but Kazekage-sama said he wanted to teach a lesson or something."

"So, do you know any more of the passwords?"

"Nah," he said with a dismissing wave of his hand, "They were real careful about keepin' us from talking to each other. I only know mine." He lit a second cigarette from his old one.

"Well, if you hear anything else, I'll be glad to trade you more smokes for whatever you find out," Naruto smiled, "And of course, I never forget a friend,"

Smoker smiled and nodded, "Yeah, that I've heard," He waved to them one last time as he turned his back and walked away.

* * *

In the following hours and days after their first success, they had continued to get lucky under Konohamaru's leadership. There had been a few ninjas they had interrogated who had not known the information they were after, but it was surprising what information they _did_ have to share after Kohohamaru had the brilliant idea to transform into Ibiki. Apparently, his reputation as a monster had traveled far farther than either of them had expected. Not quite as surprising however was how willing some of the male ninjas (and, oddly enough, one of the female ninjas) had been to give up information, given liberal application of the Harem-Jutsu. Their new friend the smoker had even come through for them just before sun down on the second day. All of this had given them dozens of leads and had taken them down countless trails searching for the information they needed, taking them much longer to investigate than they could afford.

As the sun bled a soft shade of orange into the evening sky over their third and final day, they found themselves fresh out of ideas. So far they had been able to track down all but the last word, and they would still need time to break into Gaara's office to make their report.

"What if we pay off the bartenders again?" Konohamaru piqued up, "Maybe they've heard something new in the past hour…"

"Nah, they've all stopped talking to me since Gaara started going around, threatening them to keep quiet." The two sat, in their usual disguises, near the entrance to a small restaurant a few blocks from the heart of the city, pouring out ideas over glasses of ice water.

"What about that one guy, you know, the tall dirty one we caught? He seemed to realize we were trying to trick him. Maybe if we tried him again?"

"No time, plus he knows people are desperate now so they'll try anything. If he's smart, he's hiding right now." Naruto shook his head, his shaggy yellow hair falling over his eyes, "What we need is a fresh idea, something we haven't tried yet."

As if on cue, a girl walked up beside their table. When Naruto dared to look up and see who it was, he quickly wished he hadn't. "_Shit…_" he muttered.

"Hey there, sweetie! I honestly thought you was going to stand me up!" It was ol' what's–her–name, the woman who reminded him of Akamaru, "Who's ya friend?"

"My friend?" Naruto choked on his words, "Oh, uh… This is a business associate of mine, Komaro," He gestured to Konohamaru, "You don't want to join us…do you?" Naruto asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

She squealed with delight, "Oh, I'd _love_ ta!" She practically threw herself into the booth where the pair was sitting, scooting as close up to Naruto as she could get, much to his discontent, "So…" she said quietly, "Ya boys get all the passwords yet?"

Konohamaru sat up straight, alert at her comment, but a gesture from Naruto told him to relax, that she was on their side. "No," Konohamaru said cautiously, "we've only gotten four of them so far."

"You know," Naruto hinted with a sly grin, "I still owe you that dinner. If you could help us get that last bit of information we need, I promise I can make our date something extra special." He slid his hand over top of hers, fighting the urge to gag, "What do you say to a moonlight picnic on the highest roof in the village?"

The thought of spending the better part of an hour listening to her nasally, droning voice had been bad enough before, but god help him if he had to kiss those poison lips, there would be no way he'd be able to keep his dinner down.

"Oh?" She recoiled, playing coy, "I don' know if my big brother'd like that, me bein' alone after dark…with a boy," she giggled, "He might suspect us gettin' familiar on that rooftop." She leaned in close and whispered into Naruto's ear, "Not that I'd mind if it's you," She emphasized her point with a gentle squeeze from her free hand below the table.

Naruto gave a start, caught off guard and extremely uneasy, "Well," he chuckled nervously, "I wouldn't want to get on your brothers bad side, would I?"

"But if he never finds out, it wouldn't make a difference," She withdrew her other hand from under his and brushed it along his neck, "Would it?"

Something was very wrong, he could feel it. It wasn't just how forward this particular girl was being with him (even though it did make him quite uncomfortable) but something just seemed off. He glanced to Konohamaru, looking for help, and that's when he spotted it, a sand eye hovering just behind Konohamaru's right shoulder.

"So tell me," He whispered to the girl, "Are you always this forward with boys while your brother is watching, Temari?"

There was a puff of smoke as she released her henge, the blade of a kunai now resting gently against Naruto's throat where her empty hand had just been caressing him. "And I was having so much fun." Temari shot a glare at Konohamaru who had just jumped to his feet, "Sit down and relax or I end him right now,"

He didn't want to just sit there and do nothing, of course, but a subtle nod from Naruto put him back in his place. Scowling, he sat back down and waited for Naruto's command.

"So then, I don't presume you'd tell us what the final word is, would you?"

She scoffed at him, "And what makes you think I would do that, now that I have you exactly where I need you?"

He would have shrugged, but for the blade being held so tight against his throat, "Curiosity, mostly," he frowned, "Really, it doesn't make much difference. The sun will be down in a few minutes and I'll be disqualified anyway."

Temari laughed, "How about a deal then? Since you already seem to know me, but I don't know you, why don't you tell me who the two of you really are, and I'll tell you the word? Sound fair?"

He looked to Konohamaru, "Any objections, boss?"

Konohamaru was gritting his teeth in frustration, "I don't see how it could make our situation any worse."

A puff of smoke revealed Konohamaru and Naruto for who they really were, which set Temari into a fit of laughter,

"Of all the examinees I've taken out, you were the last two I'd expect to be able to catch!"

"Yeah, kind of suprising, right?" said the younger, his voice dripping with indignation, "Now how about your end of the deal?"

"Fine," she chuckled, "Really, it's kind of funny. The last word you need is 'Insight'"

"You get that one, Konohamaru?"

He had produced a small pad of paper from out his pocket, scrawling down the word somewhere near the front of the book, "Yup, now all we have to do is tell the Kazekage and we'll be done."

"Right," Temari grimaced again, "But… Konohamaru, was it? …Unless you know some really good tricks, the two of you aren't going anywhere."

"Tricks?" He locked eyes with Naruto, "Sorry lady, I'm not very tricky. It's sensei here you have to keep your eye on."

"Oh?"

But she had no sooner asked then Naruto was behind her, his own kunai to the back of her neck. "Codeword number three was 'Readiness' wasn't it?"

"Number two on the official list," She corrected him

"Either way, I have to hurry and get your brother the message before the sun disappears." Naruto glanced up at his partner, "You ready?"

Konohamaru nodded, "Yeah, but we'll have to rush."

"No rush," said an icy cold voice behind them, "We've got plenty of time, don't we Temari?"

Naruto glanced over his shoulder, spying Gaara standing coolly just outside the entrance, his arms crossed.

"I've been having my bodyguards take out anyone who gets near enough to me to complete their mission. I'm bored now though. I want to deal with you two personally."

Naruto grinned as he pocketed his kunai, He had been itching for some excitement lately, and was more than happy to accept, "Two on two then? You and Temari against Konohamaru and myself?"

Gaara's face remained stone, but Naruto knew he was smiling on the inside, "Even better…Temari!"

She rushed to his side, taking a fighting stance alongside his stoic stature.

Naruto spoke up, "Before we get started, would it be okay if we got the message out of the way so we can concentrate on the fight?"

"That's a right you'll have to earn," he scowled.

"Fine by me," Konohamaru took up his place next to Naruto in the street, "We just won't have time to enjoy it then."

Temari smirked, "Enjoy it while you can."

They were started in a flash, Naruto and Konohamaru jumped back to the restaurant roof to avoid the concussive winds swept up by the giant fan Temari had summoned. The churning air whipped up long arms of sand around Gaara. The Konoha pair tossed a flurry of Kunai to distract the other two as they split up and ran opposite directions along the roof.

"Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu!" Dozens of clones appeared around Naruto and immediately scattered in all directions. Gaara reacted, waving his arms about like some intricate dance, the ribbons of sand swirling around him lashing out, striking down the clones in all directions one at a time.

Taking off his partners lead, Konohamaru created four clones of his own and lead them around over neighboring rooftops to flank Gaara from behind.

"No you don't!" Temari shouted, sending another massive wave of air at him. As it soared past them, the five Konohamarus disappeared, as the real one lunged out of an alleyway from behind her, Kunai in hand. He slashed, but Temari noticed him just in time, diving out of the way and receiving only a glancing scratch on her side from his blade.

Gaara spared a quick eye to check on his partner, giving Naruto all the opportunity he needed to close the gap between them.

"You're slipping!" He shouted, throwing a punch.

A wall of sand rose up, grabbing Naruto by the hand, stopping him in his tracks as it spread along his arm.

"And you're sloppy," Gaara replied coldly. The sand lifted him up by the arm and flung him against a wall.

Naruto staggered dazed to his feet, holding his forehead.

"Boss!"

"Konohamaru, focus on the fight!" Naruto called back.

But the lapse in attention had been enough for Temari to get the drop on him, catching him with a large burst of air, she tossed him effortlessly toward his teammate. Konohamaru crashed into Naruto, knocking him back to the ground.

Slowly, the two struggled to their feet, Naruto grunting at what he assumed was a newly fractured rib.

Gaara turned to check the horizon, "Two minutes," he said, turning back to them as Temari retook her place beside her brother.

Konohamaru lunged to take another go at them, But Naruto stopped him, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"No, we don't have the time. We have to put everything we have into one last attack."

"You mean…"

Naruto nodded, "It's okay, they're tough enough to take it."

Temari chided them, "You don't have the time to be standing around, you two!"

"Just trust me, follow my lead and be ready for anything."

"Kage Bunshin!" Each formed an extra clone.

Temari took a ready stance, confidence smeared across her face.

Gaara did nothing.

"Rasengan!" The pair cried.

They charged forward, rushing at full speed. Almost at the last second, Naruto grabbed Konohamaru's sleeve and everything stopped as the world around them went black. Naruto concentrated on the seal he had hidden in the sand that grabbed his arm. He opened his eyes, as he and Konohamaru thrust forward into the backs of their opponents.

There was an explosion of sand as Gaara tried to put up a defense behind them before impact, but the force from the twin attack was still great enough to send the pair tumbling down the street.

Konohamaru watched anxiously through the clearing sand as Gaara got to his feet and dusted himself off. Seizing Temari under the arm, he helped her up onto unsteady feet. He then turned and walked back toward them. He stopped two feet away and paused.

"Very well."

Naruto grinned, "Konohamaru?"

"Right!" he smiled as he pulled his notepad from his jacket pocket and began to read, "Insight, readiness, trust, loyalty, friendship."

Gaara was silent for a moment, and then: "Be ready the day after tomorrow. Those who passed the first exam are to meet at the same spot for further instruction on the second half of the exam at sun up. Tardiness will earn you immediate disqualification."

"Yes!" Konohamaru couldn't help himself.

Gaara turned his back and started making his way back to where Temari stood waiting.

"Konohamaru,"

"Er," he collected himself, "Yea boss,"

"Head back to the hotel room, I'll meet you there."

He snapped a sharp salute, "Right!" He ran off, leaping to a nearby rooftop and disappeared.

"Gaara!" Naruto called after him.

Halfway back to his teammate, the Kazekage glanced back over his shoulder.

"Thanks."

Gaara said nothing. He turned back and continued to Temari, who leaned against his shoulder for support as they made their way back toward the center of the village.

* * *

Okay, so it has been a really long while. I really hope that was worth the wait because I don't want to put out sub par material for you guys and gals, especially when you have been waiting so long. That's why I added in the fight at the end. Originally, I wasn't planning on it at all. It just sort of happened and I knew you would all enjoy it. Now, I just need a way to make up for the long delay. Give me a few minutes to mull it over will ya?


	15. Reunions and Revelations

Oh my god IT'S A DOUBLE CHAPTER!!! That's right boys and girls, to make up for not posting a chapter in six months, I'm giving you two for the price of one! Now, I know you all are probably wondering why I didn't just post the other one and then post this one four days later (Seriously, I wrote this in four days. Just for you all.) The answer to that is: I'm an evil bastard. That, and my internet connection was on the fritz and I couldn't get the stupid internet to work for more than two minutes at a time. I figured the hell with it, I'll just let it be a pleasant surprise after all this waiting. Enjoy!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

Der jüngling steigt den berg mit qual

Die aussicht ist ihm sehr egal

Hat das röslein nur im sinn

Bringt es seiner liebsten hin

[The boy climbs the mountain in torment]

[He doesn't really care about the view]

[Only the little rose is on his mind]

[He brings it to his sweetheart]

-Rammstein, Rosenrot

Chapter 15: Reunions and Revelations

The next morning was a welcome relief to the weary pair. After three long days of tracking down leads and watching their own backs the only thing they had intended on for when they got back that night was to sleep. All else could wait until the morning after.

And so it was the next morning, or afternoon as it ended up being, after they had slept for as long as they could, that they met at the table for breakfast. Neither had particularly much to say as they were too busy shoveling down a full meal of some of the best food Suna had to offer. Not that much had to be said. As he looked over at Konohamaru, Naruto couldn't help but laugh at the look of smug satisfaction the boy wore.

"Waf fo funny?" Konohamaru asked through a mouthful of waffles.

"You!" Naruto chuckled, "Stop me if I'm reading you wrong, but you're feeling on top of the world because you think we beat the Kazekage and one of his best bodyguards in a fair fight."

Konohamaru beamed, "God damn right! If we can beat them, we can take on anyone else in the tournament!"

Naruto shook his head, "Yeah, I thought as much. He took it easy on us! Temari might not have been holding back _as_ much, but if you didn't notice, Gaara did little more than defend himself."

Konohamaru set down the muffin he had been eyeing and sulked, "So all of that…we didn't really win?"

"Yes and no. You were fighting Temari most of the time though, remember?" He poked him with his spoon, "And that feint of yours? You actually did catch her off guard! Being able to surprise a jounin of her caliber is a real feat!"

He smiled a bit, "Yeah, but I only grazed her."

"Doesn't change the fact that you got the drop on one of the best ninjas in the village." Naruto stirred his oatmeal a bit before looking up again, "The hardest thing about the tournament part of the exam is that you may have to fight several enemies in one afternoon," he paused, "and one of them might be me."

"Wait," Konohamaru froze, "why would I fight you? Don't we fight as a team?"

Naruto shook his head, "Nope, every man for himself. Opponents are randomized too. From there it's just a standard, bracketed tournament."

Konohamaru sulked again, "How the hell am I supposed to beat you then?"

Naruto patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry about that now. When the time comes, play to your strengths. In the mean time, practice."

"Practice," Konohamaru rolled his eyes, "That's all you told me to do before the last part of the exam, but you didn't tell me what the hell I was supposed to be practicing!"

"You passed didn't you?" Naruto asked smugly.

"That's not the god damn point! You said when you brought me out here that you'd teach me, but you've just been blowing off all the responsibility on to me!"

"Would you calm down? I was only kidding!" Naruto rolled his eyes, "There's a nice hot spring bath in the west end of town. I was planning on taking you there after lunch anyway to work on your summoning jutsu."

Konohamaru crossed his arms and harrumphed, "I'll believe it when I see it."

* * *

It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. Naruto had kept his word for once and so Konohamaru found himself in a bath house under his mentor's guidance. Even better, it was a pretty nice place. The decorations weren't much to speak of, but there wasn't much need for fauna anyway. Unlike most other bath houses, this one had a high dome over the ceiling blocking most of the intense sunlight.

"So who are we going to be summoning first? The boy was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, "Uncle Asuma told me stories of all the times the monkeys had saved grandpas life, are the frogs great warriors too?"

Naruto's thoughts shot immediately to the times he had fought along side Gamabunta, but the more he reflected on it and all the different frogs he had met over the years, the more he realized the boss frog was more of an exception than the example. "A few of them are," Naruto bit his lip, "They'll have to warm up to you though before they fight with you. Most of them are just…well…" He paused, searching for the right words, "You know how Kakashi has his dogs right?"

Konohamaru nodded in the affirmative.

"Well, not all of them fight, some of them are good for tracking a target, right? There are more uses for summons than just to support you in a battle."

"What do you mean? How about the frogs?"

"Erm," Naruto sank a little lower in the water, as though subconsciously trying to hide his shame, "Maybe I should just show you." He climbed out of the shallow pool and bit his thumb. His hands flashed as he went through the seals before slamming his hand down on the concrete.

As the smoke drifted away it revealed two frogs, red and yellow, each a hair taller than Naruto himself.

"Yo! Long time no see!" said the red.

"Do you have snacks for us?" asked the yellow.

"So," Konohamaru began, "The frogs are good for comic relief?"

"Not particularly…" Naruto muttered under his breath. He turned back to Konohamaru, "Gamakichi," he indicated the red one, "And Gamatatsu," he pointed to the pudgy yellow one, "Two of the frogs I've worked with the most."

"Nice to meet you," the kid waved, halfheartedly.

"Yo."

"Hi!"

The blond cleared his throat, "Gamakichi, Gamatatsu, this is Konohamaru. He signed the frog scroll not long ago, so I'm teaching him how to summon."

"You're a sensei now!?" The yellow one said a little too enthusiastically.

"Of course not, you idiot," the red one cut back, "He's probably just helping Jiraiya or something."

"Oy!" he rapped Gamakichi across the head, "I was just trying to explain to my student here that frogs could do more than fight!"

"Oh yeah!" Gamatatsu chimed in, as Gamakichi rubbed the top of his head and glared at Naruto, "We can carry things too!"

"Oh, well that's…usefull," Konohamaru was starting to regret signing on with the frogs.

"Yeah!" yellow jumped in, "Like now we have an important message for Naruto!"

Naruto's ears piqued up, "What? Why didn't you say that sooner?!"

"Jiraiya said we weren't to give it to him until the exam was over!" Gamakichi frowned at his brother.

"But brother, it did seem kinda like something he should know."

"That's not your decision! If Jiraiya said we were to tell him after the exam, he must have had a good reason!"

"But…"

"Enough!" Konohamaru leapt up out of the water, "If it will get things moving on the training, why don't you just tell us what's so damn important and let Naruto decide what to do about it!?"

Naruto hadn't seen his young rival this angry about anything before. He might have pouted or been bitter about something every now and then, but still…

"Er, yeah…" Gamakichi muttered, very clearly taken off guard, "Give it to'em, 'Tatsu,"

Gamatatsu beamed, seemingly oblivious of the atmosphere around him, he proudly reported: "Tsunade has been overthrown as Hokage. Do not return to the village. When the exam is over big brother and I are to reverse summon you back to the hideout."

Naruto and Konohamaru froze, their mouths agape, not knowing how to respond. Finally, Naruto found his words.

"The Hokage's been kicked out and you didn't think it was _IMPORTANT ENOUGH_ to tell us!?"

Gamatatsu recoiled and covered his eyes.

"I told you, we were ordered not to tell you until after the exam!" Gamakichi stepped forward to defend his brother from the verbal assault, "I don't know why, but Jiraiya wouldn't have said it if he hadn't meant it!"

Naruto bit his lip, "Yeah, I guess so," begrudgingly, "Sorry I yelled."

The yellow frog nodded, "It's okay, you can buy me some snacks to make up for it!"

The blond just nodded, now lost in thought.

"So," Konohamaru spoke up, "What are we going to do about this? Should we still finish the exam?"

Naruto shook his head, "They might need our help. It's better if we join them as soon as possible. First, we have to tell Gaara though. As the Kazekage, this is something he'll want to know about, especially if it's a threat to him too."

"It isn't."

Naruto looked to Gamakichi, "What do you mean? Do you know something?"

"Well," the frog seemed back down from his statement a bit, "I've overheard… things. The name Danzo came up a lot, I think he may have been the guy who over threw Tsunade."

"Shit," Naruto grumbled as he leaned back against the wall of the pool, "That's about the worst thing that could happen."

"Who…"

Naruto waved him off, "Never mind, I'll fill you in later," He hurried to his feet and pulled himself up out of the pool, "For now we need to hurry. The sooner we can get there to help, the better – but our first stop has to be Gaara!"

With Konohamaru hot on his heels, Naruto dashed off toward the locker room

"Summon us again when you are ready to go!" Gamakichi called after them.

* * *

"I thought something seemed strange."

Naruto glanced around the room at the guards that lined the wall. Most of them were on edge, watching him carefully as he had relayed the details of his discovery to the Kazekage. Granted, they had reason to be anxious; it wasn't often that a pair of foreign ninjas materialized out of thin air, uninvited and unannounced.

"She sent word," Gaara continued, "about two days ago, a messenger hawk arrived from the whirlpool nation. It was vague. The Hokage would not be able to attend the second half of the exam, even with the final event being a few weeks away. She asked me to follow your progress and send her a report with my thoughts. She didn't say anything else. There was no word of a revolt."

"But still," Naruto cut in, "Didn't you suspect anything? Why didn't you ask me?"

"You were being examined. In the interest of fairness, I could not interfere until it was over. The bird from a strange nation, the Hokage's unexplained tardiness, do not think that I did not suspect something was wrong. I merely lacked proof to work on, but if what you say is true…" he trailed off.

"It is," Naruto assured him, "and this guy they installed – Danzo, his name is – is bad news. I've never met him, but word is that he's a war monger and a tyrant."

Gaara paused to think for a moment, "What is your plan?"

Naruto shook his head, "Konohamaru and I will drop out of the exam. We're planning to report immediately after you and I are done here."

"Hmm…" The Kazekage walked to his desk and took out a small scroll from one of the top drawers. As they waited, he added a few notes to the end of what looked like an already lengthy block of text. With a zip, he rolled it back up and passed it to Naruto, who in turn passed it to Konohamaru who stuck it in his jacket.

"Give that report to your Hokage when you see her." He turned and resumed his pacing around the room.

"Gaara, when the time comes…"

But Gaara seemed to be reading Naruto's mind, "This man, Danzo, is a threat to the peace and security of not only my people, but of citizens of all nations. Send word with whatever you need from Suna. I'll see to it personally that you get it." He stopped and turned to face Naruto and Konohamaru, "We will support the ousted Hokage and her followers."

"Thank you, Kazekage!" Konohamaru blurted out, "We appreciate your help!"

"Just remember though," he glared icy daggers at them before returning a more somber gaze to Naruto, "If I bring Suna to support you in your endeavors, it could be portrayed by your enemies as an act of war against Konoha, or even the whole Fire Country. If you can reinstall Tsunade, she can prevent that war. If this tyrant stays, however, I don't think I need to tell you how this will end."

Naruto understood, "We'll be careful. I'll only call on you if we are sure to win. Thanks again!"

With a quick flash of hand seals, Naruto summoned the two frogs. They appeared in a puff of smoke in the middle of the room. Gaara gave a subtle nod as Naruto put up his hand to wave goodbye. With another cloud of smoke, the four of them were gone.

* * *

They reappeared in a dimly lit cave. There wasn't much to speak of around aside from a pair of rickety tables and a pair of chairs that looked equally distressed. A handful of candles scattered around the cave walls provided the only light.

"You're early," Minato emerged from the shadows in front of them, "Did something go wrong?"

Naruto caught his father's eye, "No, we left the exam early. Why didn't you tell us what happened!"

His father moved over to one of the rickety chairs, taking a seat, "Really, you didn't need to know. We trusted the Kazekage to keep you safe, and we needed to make sure things appeared as normal as possible to the outside villages."

"What's to appear!?" Naruto waved his arms, "And who do I need to be protected from!?"

Konohamaru just watched quietly from the side, trying to take in as much as he could about the situation.

"Appearance is one of the most important things to a village," Said a new voice behind him.

Naruto spun around to see Tsunade sitting against the cave wall, flanked by Kakashi and Shizune.

"If a village appears weak and exposed, it's more susceptible to attack from its enemies. By your leaving the exam early, you have just informed our enemies that something is wrong at home."

"Well I thought there might be something more important you needed me for than finishing a formality!"

"Fair enough," Tsunade seemed to mull it over a bit, "But there's still Konohamaru to think of. What if he had been able to pass the exam? He could have been promoted, and you may have cost him his chance."

Konohamaru spoke up, seemingly a little intimidated by all the great ninjas he was surrounded by, "Well, I don't mind really." He hesitated, "If it was for the good of the village, then that's fine."

"We got into the final tournament," Naruto added on, "we just didn't have a chance to fight any of the other examinees. Er," he turned to Konohamaru, "Do you have that thing Gaara gave us?"

Konohamaru started fishing around in his pockets, "Yeah, here it is!" He pulled out the roll of paper and walked it over to Tsunade, "Gaara said you asked him to make a report, I think that might be it."

She unrolled it and was silent for a few moments as her eyes flew over the paper. She seemed to pause in thought before she read it over again. Finally she spoke, "You fought Temari and Gaara, is that right?"

Konohamaru stammered, "Yes, but they didn't…"

Tsunade cut him off, "It also mentions that Naruto referred to you as 'boss' during the time that he was observing you."

He cleared his throat, "Well, yes, uh," he seemed to find his voice, "He said that the point of the exam was to test leadership. He thought I should get some practice at it." Konohamaru thought he saw the Hokage's eyes flit over to Naruto and back to him again.

"So you acted as team leader during the mission?"

"Well I…" Naruto gave him a nudge, "Yes, yes I did."

Tsunade seemed to be mulling something over. She looked up suddenly, "Naruto, do you have any thoughts?"

He scratched the back of his neck, "He did alright. He may not have thought everything through, and he does a lot of second guessing…"

Konohamaru's heart sank, of course he didn't expect to be promoted, but it was still a little disheartening to hear all the his flaws laid out like this.

"But on the other hand," Naruto continued, "He learned quick from his mistakes and came up with a few creative ideas. He's flexible and a quick study. I'd say do it."

Tsunade wrinkled her brow; this seemed to go against what she was thinking, "Fourth? Any thoughts?"

"He's young. He has a lot more to learn, and he definitely doesn't seem confident enough. Some day he will make a great chuunin, but not today."

"Not confident?" Naruto burst out, "He's got all the confidence in the world when he fights!"

Minato shook his head, "All I've seen of him is in this cave, so that may be true, but look at him." He waved his arm toward the boy, "He's intimidated! A chuunin needs self confidence off the battlefield too."

"You'd be nervous too if you had to stand around as two Hokages passed judgment on you!" Konohamaru shouted back at him.

For some reason, Minato looked pleased.

"Kakashi?" Tsunade turned to the man leaning against the wall.

"I've never worked with the boy, so I can't say anything about him. However, if he is anything like his sensei, I have every confidence in him."

Tsunade nodded and closed her eyes. She thought for a moment before she stood up from her spot leaning against the cave wall, "Konohamaru!"

He snapped to attention, "Hokage-sama?"

She smiled, "You're lucky you have such a good teacher. I had no intention to promote you after your first exam, but now it seems I have something to think about," she put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm not going to promote you, but I won't completely dismiss the idea either. Instead, I have a mission for you and Naruto, and I want to see how you do with it first."

* * *

Between the three of them, they began to fill in all the details of the overthrow for Naruto and Konohamaru. Their mission was to go down into the whirlpool and relay all of this information to the village mayor. Tsunade wasn't expecting them to recruit any troops from such a small village, but she still wanted to make nice with him before she started using his village and the outlying area as a staging area.

When Naruto brought up the Sand and Gaara's pledge to help if called on, Tsunade seemed a little relieved, but agreed with the Kazekage's initial thoughts. As the leader of a large militarized village, if he were to be drawn into the conflict, it could be seen as an act of war. A smaller village would have an easier time appearing neutral.

"If you run into trouble, Jiraiya is in the village somewhere, but he will be leaving tomorrow morning for Konoha," Tsunade sighed, "It feels so strange to be sending someone to spy on my own village."

"Don't worry about us!" Naruto waved as he and Konohamaru started for the cave entrance, "We'll be just fine!"

"Wait up a minute!" Minato called after them. He rain up to the pair with something tucked under his arm. Withdrawing the item, Naruto could see in the dim light that it was one of the village's standard issue green flak vests, "Here, you've earned this." His father beamed at him, proud, "It's good to see you've taken the next step."

Naruto waved him off, "Thanks dad, but if it's okay with you, save the vest for Konohamaru."

There was a twinkle in his eye, "…We'll see."

With a hand on his partner's shoulder, the pair disappeared into the dark and silent void of night.

* * *

They reappeared on top of the old hotel. It had been a spur of the moment decision to leave a tag of his here during his last trip to the village, and now he was rather glad he hadn't had to hoof it all the way from the mountains to the center of the village. He took few steps forward to the edge of the rooftop with Konohamaru a few uneasy steps behind him. As he peered out into the sea of lights his memory of the place came flooding back to him. The massage parlor, the training fields, and right below him was where Ero-senin had grabbed…

"Oh, shit." The color drained from his face.

"What is it boss?" Konohamaru was looking up at him.

In coming off his high from the chuunin exam he had completely forgotten why it was he had dreaded coming back here earlier. That girl, that red dress, that red hair – he should have stayed in Suna, "There's a girl here I know," his voice wavered, "I… forgot to say goodbye to her last time I left. I just hope we don't run into her again."

Konohamaru hesitated, not understanding, "But if you just apologize to her, won't she…"

"You don't understand," Naruto cut him off, "Trust me when I tell you she's not that kind of girl."

* * *

Identifying the village center from the rooftop wasn't very hard. Naruto had remembered from one of his tours around town that it was the one with the high elaborate roof, and naturally, it was situated right in the city center. They could see it easily enough from their rooftop to know which way to go.

The trouble however was Naruto's. At every turn, around every corner, behind every trash can he thought he saw a girl in a red dress with fiery red hair. It got so bad that after a while, every time Naruto jumped Konohamaru became more suspicious of just what kind of a goodbye Naruto had forgotten to give this girl, or rather if that was even the real issue at hand.

When they finally made it to the front gate of the village offices they found a guard waiting for them outside. He ushered them upstairs rather quietly, only telling them that they were expected and that someone had been by earlier to set up a meeting for them.

The magnificence of the office they were ushered into was rather lacking. The walls were painted a bland white, the floor was a dull brown, and the squat man in front of them sat behind a rather plain desk. There were a few half empty book cases scattered against the wall and a rather wilted looking potted tree in the corner, but there was not much else to speak of.

When they had finished looking around, Naruto realized that the man behind the desk was sitting patiently, smiling and waiting for them to take in no doubt what he assumed to be a magnificent office. Realizing this, he gave Konohamaru a swift jab in the ribs, drawing his attention back too the front.

"You're Naruto, right?" The man had a bit of a slow draw to his voice.

"Yes," he stepped forward, "And this is Konohamaru, my student. Would it be alright with you if he joined us?" This way of formal speaking didn't feel at all right for Naruto. He was used to barging in and shouting whatever came to mind until he got what he wanted, but here, he could tell, might require a different approach.

"Of course!" The man let out a jovial laugh, "If you brought him, I'm sure you have a good reason."

Naruto smiled, the mayor seemed easy enough to get along with.

"Now, before we start, I have one bit of business I would like to attend to." He rummaged through his top drawer looking for something before pulling out a long white envelope, "I was asked to give this to you if I ever saw you. I was told you would know what was inside, so I didn't intrude."

Not sure at all what was supposed to be inside the envelope, he took it cautiously and opened it. He pulled out from the inside one neatly folded sheet of paper with a letter written on it. Konohamaru could see Naruto's expression melt quickly from guarded curiosity to absolute horror as his eyes scanned down the page. The color drained from his face as he lowered the paper to his side. Quickly, Konohamaru snatched the paper from his hand and began to read:

_Naruto,_

_As you no doubt have left by now I am certain now how little I really meant to you. Let me assure you now that I do not appreciate it. I trusted you, I cared for you, I may even have loved you, I don't know anymore. There is one thing I am certain of though. If you show your face in my village again, it will be for the last time. There will be no more running off in the middle of the night. There will be nothing waiting for you here except an agonizing death and a shallow unmarked grave. My shovel is ready, Naruto. I will find you. I will kill you._

_Yours truly,_

_Ayaka_

A chill ran down Konohamaru's spine. Whoever this girl was, Naruto had done a lot worse than forget to say goodbye to her in the morning.

Then came the soft, gentle, sinister voice from behind them, "Hello, Ero-kun, I thought I'd never see you again!"

Konohamaru stole a worried glance over his shoulder. Standing there leaning against the doorframe was the woman in the red dress. And she was smiling.

* * *

Yes. That is exactly who you think it is. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sorry again about the wait!


	16. Bloodlust

Right, so, I know what you're all thinking. But really, you're all used to it now, right? (I hope?) I'm really sorry for how long this one took, but you know how this goes. I get started, then I get busy, then I get finished a few months later. I got the first half done long before thanksgiving, then planned to finish it over the holidays, but I was too busy with stuff in my everyday life and only now got time to sit down and finish it all off. But enough of my moping, on with the chapter!

* * *

A Brief History of Life

You could have been all I wanted

But you weren't honest

Now get in the ground

-Coheed & Cambria, Welcome Home

Chapter 16: Bloodlust

She looked out at the moonlit night, watching the clouds drift across the horizon, pushed by a gentle breeze that stirred the night air. The trees on the faraway mountaintops rustled back and forth. In the far distance, she could see bright flashes of light as a thunderstorm made its way over a valley that seemed as if a thousand miles away.

"Tsunade, it's not safe to be out in the open. Come back inside." Jiraiya's voice was calm, cool and reflected little of the urgency he intended, "We're missing nins, we have to stay hidden."

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Tsunade seemed transfixed about something out in the distance, a tiny group of lights seated at the bottom of their mountain.

Jiraiya stepped out of the shadows and draped his big arm around her shoulders, "He'll be fine. As long as he keeps his cool, he can convince that guy of anything."

She shook her head, "No, I mean, what about that girl?" she shivered, "I was thinking that it might be a good for him if he ran in to her. Make amends, have an ally, you know… But now I'm worried that, well…"

Jiraiya laughed, "Since when did you start second guessing yourself?"

"I don't doubt him, I'm just…worried."

He laughed again, "You're finally thinking of him as your grandson, then!" He squeezed her shoulder, "He's tough, you know that. If he has to fight her, he'll fight her, but you know as well as I do that he can talk his way into anything. Convincing that girl to forgive him should be no problem."

"I hope you're right."

The man nodded, "He'll be fine. I have a few more things to arrange down there before I leave anyway, so if he needs me, I'll be there."

* * *

"Boss? That's her, isn't it?"

Naruto didn't have to turn around to know it was her. He remembered that voice. "Yeah," he hesitated, "Yeah."

"What's the matter?" She cooed sweetly, "Afraid to look me in the eyes? After what you did, I'm not at all surprised."

"Er," the squat man behind the desk tried to edge in, "Is there something I should know about? What's–"

"Never mind, dad."

"He's your dad!?"

"Now, if he's done something to hurt you–"

"That's my business," She snapped at him, "And I'll thank you to nose out!" Her death glare never wavered from the back of Naruto's head, "Look at me you coward!"

Naruto gulped, he really didn't want to do this now, much less ever. He had been trying to think of a way to prove to her that he hadn't meant to hurt her since he had first made it home, and still hadn't come up with any ideas. Slowly he turned to face her, "Ayaka," his voice wavered, "I didn't..."

"The hell you didn't!" she cut him off, striding toward him at an angry pace, "I trusted you!"

"Would you please just listen to me?"

She slugged him across the face.

Konohamaru lurched out to grab her, but Naruto held him back.

"I'm not going to be taken in by any more of your lies!"

The man jumped up behind his desk, "Now see here! I will not tolerate fighting in my office!"

Ayaka briefly turned her attention away, "Shut the _FUCK UP_ old man! This is between me and him!"

"Why won't you at least let me moderate a discussion between the two of you?"

"I told you," she snapped back, "it's none of your fucking business what happened between me and him!" She returned her attention to Naruto, "You think you can explain yourself? Then let's go somewhere this asshole isn't!" She indicated her father, before turning and heading toward the door, "And leave your friend behind."

Konohamaru just nodded when he caught Naruto's eye. He'd do his best to smooth things over with the Mayor. With a nod of appreciation he turned his back and followed the girl out into the hall.

* * *

Naruto just kept his eyes on the floor as he rounded a corner, down the hall from the main office. The silence was killing him, or rather, he felt like he was killing himself with it. Every dead second that passed was a missed opportunity to gain some ground, to make up for his mistake. But the silence dragged on, broken only by the sound of his shuffling feet dragging across the dusty floors.

Ayaka on the other hand, made no sound at all as she whisked by, reached out for a door handle and glided into an empty study.

As he gazed around at the shelves of old books and records, he got the distinct feeling of a pair of eyes boring into him. And indeed they were; he just couldn't bring his own to meet them.

"Listen, Ayaka, I…" He muttered at the ground.

"Shut the fuck up," the tone she used to cut him off was almost too cool, too relaxed to be angry, "I have questions, and you are going to give me answers, understood?"

The blond boy only nodded his understanding as he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the faded persian rug.

"First, what am I to you?"

"What do you…?"

"Answer the damn question!" She cut him off, "What am I to you!?"

He hesitated, searching for the right word, but none seemed just right, "You're a friend, or…" Naruto corrected himself, "You used to be."

"A friend?" She growled, barely containing her rage.

He had picked the wrong word.

"A friend who just so happened to sleep with you? You never considered why I did what I did?"

"No, I…"

"Of course you didn't," she cut him off again, "You wouldn't have. I know how guys like you think! 'As long as I get my rocks off, who cares what anyone else feels about me' huh? 'Fuck you, got mine,' right!?"

"No, I…"

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_" She screamed at him, "_I won't be bought in by any more of your lies!_" With a furious howl she launched herself at the nearest bookcase, and with all her might pulled it to the ground. She rounded on him, "What, you don't have anything to say for yourself? No witty retort? No cute little remark? Fucking say something already!"

Naruto paused, searching for the right words before settling on simplicity, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't think it through at the time. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through."

Ayaka threw her hands up in the air, "Oh, you didn't mean it! Of course you didn't! And thank god you're sorry now, that makes everything better, doesn't it?" She took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm herself down, "And you say you didn't think it through, like you expect me to believe that you hadn't had all of this planned out from the beginning. And I bought the whole thing, didn't I?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Naruto was trying to remain as calm as he could, "I was acting off bad advice from my grandfather. He's the one who told me to leave the…"

"Oh don't pin this on that perverted bastard again! You were planning the whole time to get into my pants! It's not that you didn't think it through the morning after, it's that you just didn't care! You got what you wanted, so you left!"

He sighed, this was the exact opposite of what he had intended, "It doesn't matter what I say, does it?" He looked to her, "I could repeat myself all day and you wouldn't believe me, would you?"

She seemed to take offense to this, "And why the hell _should _I trust what you say? Give me one god damn reason why!"

"Hit me."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"That I was wrong and I'm sorry," He was getting irritated, "Now either hit me or shut up."

She was across the room in a flash, her fist buried in Naruto's gut with as much force as she could muster, "You son of a bitch! You think you have the right to talk back to me!?"

Naruto doubled over and fell, crumpled up onto the floor, "As much right as anyone… when you're wrong!" He squeaked out.

This earned him a sharp kick to the ribs, re-breaking the one he had fractured in the fight with Gaara.

"Look at you!" She spat at him, "You tell me to hit you and you curl into a ball after two hits! Just like I thought, you're a coward!"

Naruto struggled to a knee, fighting to stand up. He choked back the pain as he straightened himself, he had survived worse. He gave a weak grin as his eyes met hers.

"What the hell are you smiling for?" She threw a right cross, breaking his nose.

He brought his sleeve up to his face, whipping away most of the blood from his nose and smearing the rest, "You're holding back."

She punched him again in the face, causing him to stumble back against the wall, but she knew he was right. It felt good to hurt him, that stupid, grinning, blond haired, bloody mess, but something was keeping her from going all out. She raised her fist to swing again, but hesitated, then lowered it.

"Feel better?"

Ayaka screamed, raging, and threw everything off the nearest desk before upturning it and tossing it aside. She reared back and swung full force at the wall. There was a loud crack as she struck. "_FUCK!_" Quickly, she recoiled cradling her hand.

"What happened?" Naruto rushed to her side, "Are you okay?"

"Get away from me!" She screamed, shoving him away with her good hand, "Just get out of my sight!"

Naruto took a hesitant step back, "I just wanted to help!"

"I'm not going to say it again," she hissed at him, "Now get _out_ of here!"

It didn't feel like the right thing to do at the time, but if that's what Ayaka wanted, he would just have to oblige. He turned around and trudged toward the door, opening it noiselessly and closing it behind him as he limped out into the hall.

* * *

"Yeah, you forgot to say goodbye, and I'm the Kazekage." Konohamaru was leaning up against the wall just outside the door. He smiled, "At least she didn't leave you in a shallow grave like she threatened, right?"

The sorrowful look he got from Naruto made the boy regret his words immediately. He bit his tongue as he pressed on to the next topic as quick as he could, "I smoothed things over the best I could with the Mayor. Long story short, he isn't going to give us any aid, but he isn't going to bother us either."

"That's good," the older nodded as he turned and started down the hall, "You can fill me in on the details when we report back in."

Konohamaru had to jog to catch up, "So, that's it then? There's nothing else we have to do while we're here?"

He shook his head, "Not unless you can think of anything that needs doing."

The boy glanced over his shoulder at the door behind them, "No. I think we're done here."

Without another word, Naruto grabbed the boy by the arm and they disappeared.

* * *

She never liked it when it was this quiet. It always seemed like there was something going wrong. It was too still. Too empty.

Tsunade looked up from her spot at her small table to glance around the room. Jiraiya had left earlier that night, but he had been soon replaced by Kakashi, who aside from his brief report, hadn't said or done much since his arrival except open his book. He had made to start on a full report, but decided to wait and share all the details until the younger two got back.

The sound of shuffling feet toward the front of the cave brought Tsunade out of her daze, "Who's there?"

"It's just us," Naruto's voice called back as he emerged into the candlelit cavern.

She sat up straight in her chair, "What do you have to report? Any good news?" She was visibly anxious from all the sitting around.

"Well, uh…" Naruto scratched his neck, "Konohamaru…?"

"Well, there's good news and bad news," He jumped in, "The good news is that we won't have any problems from the locals, the mayor has agreed to let us stay up here as long as we keep to ourselves."

"And the bad news?"

Naruto cut in, "Well, you heard about that girl I met here, right?"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, "I've heard a _few_ details…"

"Er, well, it turns out she's the Mayor's daughter."

She put her head down in her arms, "Oh, shit."

"While I was off trying to make things right with her, Konohamaru was trying to smooth things over with the mayor."

"He isn't going to give us any aide," Konohamaru cut in, "but at least he isn't going to make our lives any more difficult."

Tsunade seemed to mull over these new developments, "Kakashi, you had something you wanted to add?"

The man in the mask closed his book and stood up out of his chair, "I, too, have both good news and bad," he paused taking a deep breath, "The good news is that Danzo doesn't have nearly as many troops as he first claimed,"

Tsunade let out a sigh as relief washed over her.

"I was able to…recover…some information about the inner workings of his ranks. The numbers he assigns them indicate ranks, not the order of inception. He considers himself number one and is the only single digit number. His closest lieutenants have numbers in the double digits, and so on down to the foot soldiers in the four hundred ranks."

"So," Tsunade began hesitantly, "how many would you say he has under his control?"

"One hundred and ninety three," he said, matter of factly, "Two hundred and forty seven, if you count his Root members."

"And should I ask how you came upon these numbers?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

Kakashi began delicately, "Members of root have a curse put on them that makes it impossible to speak about their operations, so torture and interrogation are out." he hesitated, "But that doesn't necessarily prevent certain...sympathetic…members from _accidentally_ forgetting to lock a filing cabinet,"

Naruto smiled, it was good to know that Sai was still on their side after all that had happened.

"And do we have many more supporters back home?"

Kakashi shook his head, "That I can't attest to. I'm sure that when the time comes, most of the ninjas will side with you, but there are sentries watching over the houses of most of the most influential and powerful ninjas in the village. If we move to contact them, Danzo will know immediately."

"And if we try to remove the guards?" A new voice added from the darkest corner of the cave.

Everyone jumped at the sound of Minato's voice, except for Kakashi, who acted as if he had known he was there all along. "We could try, but I wouldn't advise it. Danzo will have thought of a way to detect when one of his own goes down."

"So you're saying that our best bet is to try and take them down all at once?" Naruto caught his father's eye as he spoke.

Minato shook his head, "That's our best option, but I know what you're thinking son, and it won't work. Keep in mind, these nin are all at least on a jounin level; even stronger for the higher ranking ones. We can't just flash from one to another and stab them all in the heart. We may be able to grab a few of them that way, but we won't have nearly enough time to get all of them."

Konohamaru seemed deep in thought, "What if," he began, a little hesitantly, "What if… you said a lot of them were stationed around the homes of strong shinobi, right? What if we could coordinate with all of them? Have as many of them as we can take on the ones watching their own homes?"

"That would only cover about half of them," Kakashi sighed, "The others would still be free to attack the village."

"So we lay traps for the rest! Put down explosive tags where we know they are going to be!"

"No," This time it was Tsunade who spoke up, "If we did that, we might risk civilian injury."

"But there's nothing stopping us from rigging up explosives inside their headquarters." Minato scratched his chin, "Their caves are deep underground, away from civilians. Even if we can block the entrance, that would still take at most another forty out of the equation."

"So that leaves us to deal with almost sixty more, right?" Tsunade was trying to do the math in her head.

"If we're quick enough, Naruto and I may be able to get the drop on five or six of them, each," Minato chimed in.

"And with careful preparation, some of the jounin might be able to capture a few groups in genjutsus." Kakashi added, "Trying to hold multiple people, though would take a large physical strain, and we wouldn't be able to hold it for longer than a minute."

"If it's long enough for dad and I to take them out quickly, before they can resist, it'll help."

Tsunade sighed, "That still leaves too many of them to attack the town."

Minato crossed his arms, "And we're not counting the Root members either. There will be losses, you have to accept that fact. We can't protect everyone. If we're quick in engaging the last few, we can keep losses to a minimum."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, "If you can spread some of your slugs around the village ahead of the time, and keep them ready, we may be able to minimize deaths."

All seemed to agree that this was probably the best they could hope for. Tsunade was still very sullen facing the prospect of innocent death on her hands, but deep down she knew that if she did nothing, Danzo would keep sacrificing innocents on his own, or possible start another war, which would bring even more death. As much as she hated the idea, she had to face the facet that the only way to save as many people as possible was to sacrifice a few. Then an idea hit her,

"What are we going to do about Danzo himself?"

Kakashi seemed to think about it for a moment, "He's never without at least two bodyguards."

"Even if we did catch him off guard and alone," Tsunade added, "He didn't get as powerful as he did just by being a bastard. He'd be a formidable enemy, even for one of the sanin."

Naruto seemed off somewhere, distracted from the conversation. When he spoke up, it was sudden, "Kankuro!"

"What about him?" Tsunade turned to face him.

"I was thinking, what happens to the puppets when someone using a puppet jutsu dies?"

"Well, the puppets won't attack on their own, if that's what you mean."

"Exactly!" Naruto was getting excited now, "So if we take out Danzo, won't the rest of his puppets die too?"

Minato seemed to mull it over a bit, "Maybe, but these aren't puppets, they're reanimated corpses. They think and act on their own, and don't require direct control from Danzo. If we take him out first, there's a chance they might stop attacking, but there's no guarantee."

"So…" Konohamaru spoke up once more, "What if we did our first strike, but included Danzo as part of that attack? We take out as many as we can while we have the chance, but try to capitalize on this too?"

"But who would take on Danzo? All of our strongest would be tied up with other parts of the plan."

"What about Jiraiya?" Naruto asked.

"He's too valuable to put on one target." Tsunade disagreed, "That swamp jutsu of his would be of more use trying to trap ten or twenty other enemies. And I would want more than one person to take him on. We can't leave anything to chance, especially if he has his best guards with him."

"Then Naruto and I will take them on."

"Absolutely not!" Tsunade shot back at Minato, "You two have the best chance at a surprise attack on–"

"Which is exactly why we need to use that advantage on the highest value targets we can. If we can take out his guards quickly, that makes the rest of our fight that much easier."

"But both of you?"

"Two guards, two surprise attacks. Plus, our fighting styles are similar enough to compliment each other, it could give us an extra edge."

Tsunade hesitated, obvious worry draining over her face, "All right," she finally gave in, "but be careful, alright? If you two…" She looked away, hiding her face.

"So when do we do this?"

Kakashi looked to Naruto, "We'll need time to prepare, get everything ready in the village and let everyone know."

"The new moon is two weeks away. We can use the cover of darkness to our advantage. That might be enough time."

Kakashi nodded in response to Minato, "It'll be tight, but we might be able to be ready by then. I'll have to get word to Sai right away."

Tsunade, who had regained her composure, only nodded as Kakashi turned to set on out of the cave.

"Naruto and I will take care of spreading word to everyone else. Our mole is sure to be under surveillance himself. They'll find out about us if he's caught talking to the other sympathizers, and if worst comes to worst he and I can get out quickest." He turned to his son, "I'll have to teach you a few new jutsus, but they'll come in handy."

Tsunade, again, nodded, "This fight is far from a sure thing, but it's the best we can hope for." Quietly she reached behind the table and pulled out a stiff green vest and tossed it to Konohamaru, "You'll need all the extra protection you can get when the time comes. Don't make me regret giving this to you so soon."

Konohamaru quickly slipped on the vest before snapping to a sharp salute, "Of course! Thank you, Hokage-sama!"

Tsunade gave a subtle nod before pulling out a second, orange vest with black trim and tossed it to Naruto, "The same goes for you. Only in your case, you shouldn't have taken so damn long. I had that stupid vest custom made over a year ago and it's been taking up too much room in my office since then."

Naruto caught it with a smile, slipped it on, then grabbed his cloak off the nearby chair and threw it over top of the vest, "We won't let you down!"

"I know you won't. Now, I recommend the two of you get some rest. Starting tomorrow, we're going to be very busy."

Naruto and Konohamaru both saluted and started back into the depths of the cave, the older giving one last glance over his shoulder as he went at the city outside, nestled at the base of the mountain.

* * *

Right, so, that's it. I have something special planned for the next one. I don't know if the time table for the next chapter is going to be any different, but I promise you all will like what I do with the next one. You could call it a bit of a concept chapter. Anyway, you'll see what I mean. With any luck it won't take another six months.


	17. The Lonely

Okay, so, I know this has been a while. Make up your own excuses, I guess. Really, it's been a tough semester, but that's just how it is. I took a different route with this chapter, so it's very experimental, and thus also kind of short. Hopefully you all enjoy it though...

* * *

A Brief History of Life

"Well, someone told me yesterday that when you shove your love away

You act as if you just don't care, you look as if you're going somewhere

But I just can't convince myself, I couldn't live with no one else

And I can only play that part and sit and nurse my broken heart"

-So Lonely, The Police

Chapter 17: The Lonely

There was something about tonight that made it miserable. Could it have been the drizzling rain? Was it the howling wind? No, that's what made it miserable outside, though it had only started a few minutes ago. What made it into a miserable night was definitely something inside.

Ayaka sat in one of her softest chairs, hugging her knees to her chest. She wasn't cold; it had been plenty warm the past few days in the village. It just felt like something she needed to do. It was like if she didn't have her arms wrapped around something, that there would be just a big empty space there where something should have been. Like there was some kind of vacuum pulling her toward the empty void in front of her and she needed something to fill the space. She knew full well that her legs weren't what she had really wanted to wrap her arms around, and she just wouldn't really feel complete without

[_Naruto_]

that bastard who had betrayed her. She tried to push his face out of her mind, but every time she tried, memories of that grinning idiot would spring right back.

And that was why she now sat, hugging her knees and staring at her apartment wall on a night that could have been spent doing damn near anything else. There were plenty of books on her shelf that she had meant to get into, but no matter which one she picked up, she couldn't do anything but stare blankly at the page. She had tried one of her favorites earlier that night, but had cast it aside after she caught herself rereading the same paragraph for the fourth time. She had plenty of mission reports she had to file too, but every time she tried to write, her mind would blank and she couldn't remember any of the details.

Sighing, she got up and walked across the room, staring into a picture of a young, smiling red head girl sitting on the shoulders of a tall man with a shorter, red haired woman next to them. They had been so much happier back then, when the family had been all together. Or at least she thought they had been. Maybe that's why she hated

[_that blond idiotic grinning face_]

him so much, because he acted just like her father had. She frowned, '_Here today, gone tomorrow,_'

Deciding that sitting around and staring at the wall wasn't doing her any good, she impulsively reached for her traveling cloak near the door, fastened it around her neck and set out into the cold, miserable night, completely unsure of where she intended to go.

* * *

It was miserable outside, that was for damn sure. Of course, she had known this before she decided to go for a walk, she just didn't care. The city lights were blurred through the haze of the pouring rain.

It didn't take long before the rain started to soak through her coat. Being wet only compounded the misery of the already cold night. With the wind wiping up at high speeds through the city streets the cold even began to sting at times. That was fine though. On some strange level it felt almost comforting. It seemed to remind her of her old days of running missions in the most miserable of conditions.

Of course all her missions these days had been easy and cushy. Her step father had taken it upon himself to protect her, and she hated it. She was better, stronger than he wanted to admit. Since he had taken over, he had pretended to be her real father, like he loved her from the moment he met her.

She shook her head, _'What a joke'_, she sighed, _'It's insulting really.'_ She looked up, taking in wherever it was her feet had taken her on their unguided shuffle around town. As her eyes regained their focus, she came to realize she was basking in the neon light of one of her favorite restaurants by the edge of town. It was a rather out of the way place, so she didn't get to come here often, but whenever she needed peace and quiet to think over something important, she always seemed to find herself here.

Meandering her way inside, she found her favorite dark corner. She took a glance around the other booths, surveying the people around her. It was an old habit of hers, and had stuck around from her early days as a ninja. The barkeep, two waitresses, one waiter, two friends sharing a quiet conversation and a meal, a traveling merchant; none of them too out of the ordinary. She buried her face in her hands, rubbing at her eyes as she leaned against the table.

"Get you anything?" a firm, gruff voice asked her.

"Noodles – ramen, I guess." She said without looking up

"Any particular flavor?"

"Pork," She said without thinking, "pork's what I need."

She could hear the man shamble away for a few minutes before he returned, accompanied with the soft clatter of porcelain on the table. At the sound of a second bowl she snapped up, her eyes meeting those of a weary old man with waist length spiky silver hair and a red vest.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked with a soft smile.

'_Yes,'_ she thought. "No," she muttered, "I guess."

The man took a seat across from her in the dim corner booth. Quietly, he poured himself a glass of sake and started helping himself to his own serving of noodles. They sat like that, the old man eating his meal, Ayaka ignoring hers, for a minute or two before the girl looked up at him.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"You do." The man replied before returning to his dinner.

There was another minute or two of silence.

"You were with him."

"I was." He said.

"So you were the one that…"

"Yes."

She hesitated, "I…I never got your name, back when I met you two."

"Jiraiya," the man smiled.

"Ayaka," She smiled back, weakly.

"I know," the man returned to his soup.

Why was he here? What did he want? There had to be some reason for bothering her. Did he want to feel her up again? Did he want to apologize? Did he just want company? It was infuriating, trying to sort through all of the questions at once.

"Why the hell are you here!" She burst out all at once. Quietly, she sunk low into her booth as the few people in the restaurant turned to look at her.

"I wanted to clear something up." He spoke as if nothing was unusual, "I know you probably won't want to hear what I have to say, but I still want you to at least hear it, all the same."

Ayaka nodded along to what he was saying, almost in sort of a daze, thinking about just what the man might want to say to her.

"All I ask is you hear me all the way through. If you want to ask something, I'll be glad to answer, just please let me talk first."

'_Fair enough,'_ she thought to herself, "Go on."

Jiraiya wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his bowl aside before leaning into the table. Then he started, "It was my fault, what happened between you two. I gave him some bad advice, because I was mistaken about him and you. Like you seem to have come to assume, I assumed he only wanted to get to know you to explore his…" He hesitated, searching for safer words, "…budding sexuality."

Ayaka shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Suddenly, the padded wood seats seemed harder than rocks.

"What I didn't realize –or refused to realize, I'm still not sure – is that beneath the chemistry between you two, it was all rooted in the excitement he had for meeting a new friend," He looked up and smiled at her briefly before returning to his gloomy slump, "It was never about sex for him. But I'm rambling. The main thing I wanted to say is this: having him leave you in the morning was my idea. It was a mistake. He really was looking forward to seeing you again. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you."

For a few moments, there was nothing to fill the empty silence besides the clinking of bowls in the other booths and the muffled mutterings of the other patrons.

"I want to believe you," Ayaka began quietly, slowly, "but it's not just what he did to me." She hesitated before starting again, "There was something a long time ago. It took me a while to figure it all out, but to get to the point, I find it hard to trust anyone anymore."

"The mayor isn't your biological father." Jiraiya filled in the next piece, "That much is obvious, from what I've seen."

Ayaka didn't question how he knew.

"Would I be correct in assuming that the reason your real father isn't around isn't because he's dead?"

She looked up with a start, "How did you…?"

"I've met many women in my life, and slept with many more, but one thing is for certain: how that woman's father treated her always shapes how the woman becomes. War orphans may start out angry at their fathers, but by the time they reach your age, that anger gets replaced by a sort of reverence for their sacrifice. Doubly so if they become a ninja themselves. If a woman's father left for selfish reasons, they'll either be bitter or vengeful. The former grow up to be strong, independent women, if distrustful. The later grow up to be strippers."

"And how does this pertain to me?" Ayaka asked coolly, hiding her surprise at the general truth to his statement, however shallow it might really have been.

"You hate your father," Jiraiya caught her eye out of the corner of his, "Considering you aren't naked, I'd say you're bitter that he left."

There was an echoing crack through the restaurant and a big red palm print on Jiraiya's cheek from where she slapped him. Her hand trembled as she rested it back on the table.

"My father was a great man." Her voice trembled slightly, "He loved us, my mom and I."  
She paused, unsure, "At least, I thought he did. No, I know he did, it's just, I don't know anymore."

Jiraiya, ignoring the dull throb on the side of his face, turned to face her.

"One day, when I was six, I woke up and he wasn't there." She continued as her eyes started to puff up, "I wasn't too surprised. He was a ninja too, so he was always leaving for missions, but he would always say goodbye to me before he left. But this time he didn't. And this time he didn't come back." She shook her head, "Mom told me he died, that there was a mission and he died like a hero."

Jiraiya put a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her to go on. Ayaka didn't much like his hand there, but she ignored it and pushed on anyway. For why, she didn't know. "Six years ago, I became a ninja. I wanted to be just like him, to defend my friends and family like he had done. And then I went on my first mission outside of the country," She looked up, gazing deep into the old man's eyes, "And then I found him."

Jiraiya nodded, "You found his where he died?"

"No," She shook her head, "I found him. In a small village in the Earth country. He had another wife, another daughter, another _FUCKING FAMILY!_" She pounded her fist on the table, rattling the bowls, "The son of a bitch wasn't even a ninja! He just pretended to be so he could have a reason to sneak off and be with his other family." She looked up, tears in her eyes, "I hoped at least that maybe he had met them after he left us, but after I met his other daughter, my half-sister, I figured it all out. She was older than me. Almost _five years_ older! They weren't the damn side family, _mom and I were_!"

Jiraiya was reeling. He hadn't expected this, much less anything close to this. At the most, he expected a cheater, or maybe a drunk or someone abusive, but this…

"I…I don't know what to say." And for once in his life, he actually didn't.

Ayaka shook her head, the tears streaming down her eyes, "Don't bother. I know he was a lying son of a bitch. But at least you can say 'I told you so'."

"Why would I say that?" Jiraiya was appalled.

She smiled through the tears, "Because I'm bitter. And I don't trust people."

He thought for a minute, "I might not be the best person to tell you this, or to try to persuade you otherwise," He started, without the usual confidence in his voice, "but not everyone's that bad. Some of us can be terrible people, but it takes a very rare breed of asshole to be that kind of scum."

She gave a stifled laugh, "Yeah, you're definitely not the right one to say that."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each thinking about what had just transpired. There was nothing to hear but more of the same sounds that had populated their awkward silences all night long. More dishes, more people ordering, more people going about their normal, happy lives.

"He's looking for you, you know."

"I know."

"You deserve a second chance."

Ayaka bit her lip, "I know I should give him another chance, but it's just so hard–"

"No," Jiraiya cut her off, "I said give yourself a second chance. Just because one man may have spent his life lying to you, however important he may have been, it doesn't mean all the rest of us are the same way."

She chuckled, "Maybe." She hesitated, then smiled, "You know, there was just something about him, when we first met. I don't know what it was, but just something about him made me think it might be worth it. I don't know if I just wanted to get to know him or what, but something about the way he looked at me made me think 'If there's anyone left in the world worth giving a chance, it might be him.' If I hadn't met you two, I'd have just gone on being miserable and bitter. Thank you." She smiled.

Jiraiya just smiled back as she pulled her coat up tighter around herself and made her way toward the front door. She hadn't told him where she was going, but he thought he had a pretty good guess.

* * *

Ayaka sat perched on the edge of a roof. It had taken her only a few hours to scour the city, but now, just as the first orange streaks of daylight began to peek over the horizon, she sat watching him. It had stopped raining just over an hour ago, and the lingering clouds made for one of the best sun rises she had witnessed in months.

Below her on the sidewalk by the street, sound asleep, leaning against the back of a bench was Naruto. She had come and gone a few times during the night, each time thinking she needed to say something to him, that she wanted to make it right, but she never could bring herself to wake him. At one point she had even sat next to him, just hoping he would wake on his own and save her the trouble. Why was this so hard?

Every time she had gotten close, she chickened out and went home. Every time she put her hand on her front door, she was overcome with regret at leaving him without sorting it all out. She would then promptly return to watch him for another hour. She had done this four times so far this night.

But now the sun was coming up. Soon it would cause Naruto to wake up and he would be on his way, and she knew she would never get the courage to try again.

Slowly, hesitantly, she climbed down off the roof and made her way across the street. She paused before taking a seat beside him and waited.

And so she waited. And waited. Minutes seemed like hours, days, maybe even an eternity. By her own count she had sat next to him this time for just under six hours. Her watch though – the eternal liar that it was – corrected her, showing she had been there for no more than thirty two minutes.

A subtle movement beside her shook her out of her daze. Naruto raised his hand to rub his eyes, grazing against her shoulder as he moved. Curious as to what he bumped, he looked to his left and caught sight of the nervous, fidgety girl sitting beside him, and the worried expression dripping off her face.

In a moment of clarity, he smiled at her, "Good morning," he mumbled.

"Yeah," she hesitated, returning a half smile, "I think it will be."

* * *

Okay, so, yeah. Like I said, very experimental. I really do need your feedback on this chapter though. The main thing I'm worried about though is the story about Ayaka's father. It's skirting right on the line of the far fetched, and I'm not sure it's believable enough. I'll say for the record though that I'm not doing this just because I want attention or anything. I did it because I thought it would be a good motivation for the way she acts. I was flirting with the idea of just having her father run off with another woman and leaving it at that, but to be honest, once I got the idea into my head I just wanted to see if I could pull it off and still have it believable. Mind you, the double life isn't that uncommon of a things, but still... What do all of you think? Pulled it off? Went too far?


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